Ego Deflation: Landing My Balloon At Eye Level

I only began to understand what humility was when the 12 steps deflated my ego like a helium balloon. Step five helped my defects of character seep out by acknowledging them with someone I trust. Step 6 tested my willingness to let those defects go. After a lifetime of listening to that little voice in my head tell me the wrong things, building new habits like pausing takes practice to let that little voice settle. But when I do, the ego balloon rests at eye level, and I become teachable.

That same voice is the one that tells me to sleep in and skip my sobriety meeting, eat a deep dish pizza instead of a salad, or cut someone off who’s trying to help me and insist that I know best. That voice is the one who holds the strings that lead to nothing yet grips them tighter only to strangle my own serenity. When I’m hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, she grows louder.

My humility and ego have a dynamic balance that see-saw while I continually fine-tune my behavior. Some days I successfully drop the strings into my God box.

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