The World's Wimpiest Vampire

Supernatural Suckers, Book 2

De: Silvana Falcon

Narrado por: John Solo

The world’s wimpiest vampire meets the hunter who cannot believe this is their target.

Charlie never asked to be turned into a vampire. In fact, the whole thing was a drunken mistake. One minute, he was minding his own business, the next, some idiot vampire bit him on a dare—and then immediately regretted it and abandoned him.

Now Charlie is very bad at being undead. He faints at the sight of blood, refuses to bite people, and spends his days trying to survive on beet juice, cherry Kool-Aid, and sheer denial. The vampire world wants nothing to do with him, and honestly? He gets it.

Simon is a seasoned vampire hunter. Ruthless, efficient, and completely dedicated to the cause, he’s spent years taking down deadly creatures of the night. When he finally tracks down Charlie Dracul, he expects a monster.

Instead, he finds a sleep-deprived disaster with ketchup on his hoodie who nearly passes out when he pulls out a stake.

Simon should end this embarrassment of a vampire immediately. But it feels unsporting. And, worse, the longer he watches Charlie bumble his way through undead existence, the harder it is to look away.

Killing monsters is easy. Figuring out what to do with a vampire who sucks at being a vampire?

That’s another problem entirely.

©2025 Silvana Falcon (P)2025 Silvana Falcon

My Favorite Vampire! Fabulous Story & Narration🎧

It is great to be back in Silvana Falcon’s “Supernatural Suckers” world again for another fabulous novel, an entertaining paranormal fantasy romantic comedy that has lots of heart and humor. Falcon has outdone herself once again, creating an imaginative story that is original and cleverly plotted, one that grabs your attention and holds it captive the entire time. I mean, really, a vampire who fails at being a vampire, one who faints at the sight of blood and one who is an adorable mess — yeah, that is Charlie, the one who is terrible at being undead and the one you can not help but fall in love with. Then there is Simon, the best of the best vampire hunters, and Charlie Dracul is his next target, because of the report his agency has received about him. When he gets eyes on Charlie, he is nothing like the reports state, and something is not adding up, but then again, vampires are fantastic actors and deceivers. Watching Charlie deal with his new vampire state was hysterical, and his bestie, Brent, added to that, and then there is Simon, and all the drama he brings, and humor too. I loved all the layers of this story and how it all plays out, with the perfect balance of drama, witty dialogue and humor, heartfelt emotions and slow burn, but so worth the wait romance. The world building, character growth and development are fantastic and besides the amazing lead characters there are some fabulous side/secondary characters, too, all adding to the depth of the story. Silvana Falcon, thank you for the “World’s Wimpiest Vampire”, I loved him, his wonderful story and the wild and fun ride!

🎧📚🎧 And for the fabulous audiobook production and listen, performed by John Solo, who was incredible with voicing the characters and bringing them to life. His talent and versatility as a voice artist truly shine with his portrayal of these characters, embodying them completely, giving their own distinct voice, a voice that fits their personality perfectly. I love how he owns each role, sounding believable and just as I imagine the character to sound. He handles the wit and back-and-forth dialogue naturally, lands the humor effortlessly and never misses a beat. John Solo is an entertaining storyteller, and his captivating performance keeps his listeners glued to the story.

A,Quirky Paranormal MM Story

This is my first time reading/listening to this author's books and I am definitely adding Silvana Falcon to my list of authors TBR.

The bumbling character of Charlie a newly turned vampire left to fend on his own I couldn't help but fall in love with. From his aversion to blood to his shifting ability into a rabbit and his total lack of coordination he is the antithesis to the usual vampire characters I've encountered in multi media. Charlie being hunted for being a vicious killer is so laughable.

Simon as a hybrid vampire hunter was also an interesting twist on the typical hellbent out for vampire elimination character. The progression of how he changes and really thinks about the motivation of why he does the job kept me hooked in listening.

The relationship between Charlie and Simon from foes, (but can you really call Charlie a foe?) to lovers was intriguing to follow. Add in the various side characters, I find it is hard to call this a love story, but more of an action story with love thrown in on the side.

The narrator does an excellent job of differentiating the characters with his various vocal intonation and inflections. The quality of the recording is top notch. The level of writing was right on the mark. I will definitely be looking for other written and audio books by Silvana Falcon.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

challenging dark emotional funny medium-paced

Plot or Character Driven: A mix
Strong character development: Yes
Loveable characters: Yes
Diverse cast of characters: Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus: Complicated
Tears: 💧💧
Spice: 🌶️🌶️🌶️
Audiobook (Audible) ARC - such a phenomenal vampire romance novel. The humor throughout really helps to lighten the overall dark theme and story plot. Charlie is turned into a vampire as a joke and struggles to eat his new diet due to his hemophobia. Simon has been given information that Charlie is a menace to society and a super dangerous vampire. After his initial observations of Charlie, Simon realizes something is amiss and discovers the dark truth of his organization in his mission to save his mark Charlie from unnecessary death.

The author does a great job to combine the darker themes with the lighter humorous situations Charlie finds himself in to make the overall feel less gloomy. John Solo does a great job narrating both POV's and the varying voices for each character for easy distinguishment while listening. The speed and pronunciation is clear and concise not requiring rewinds to re-hear parts of the narration.

Advanced Reader Copy (ARC) Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this audiobook via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

cinnamon roll vampire

This was such a pleasant surprise. The premise alone hooked me: the sweetest, nerdiest, most passive guy alive gets turned into a vampire… even though he faints at the sight of blood. Disaster, comedy, and pure charm all rolled together.

The dynamic with the super‑hot vampire hunter was everything. He’s ready to slay first and ask questions never — until he realizes this “threat” is actually the wimpiest, most harmless little cinnamon roll who hasn’t even fed on anyone. Total grumpy‑sunshine energy, plus strong protector vibes that made the whole story even cuter.

The plot twist was fun too. I definitely saw it coming, but it still landed, and I loved the way it played out. And that ending? The little surprise that hints at an interconnected story had me smiling.

Overall, it was adorable, funny, and just easy to enjoy. Once I started listening, I didn’t want to stop. I’d happily pick up more from this author.

I received a free copy of this book via Booksprout and am voluntarily leaving a review.

Loved it!

A most delightful story. I absolutely loved it and listened to it in one sitting. A lovely mix of humour and drama with some sci-fi thrown in. As always, John Solo nailed these characters perfectly with his performance, giving each character its own voice and nuance. You'll adore our wimpy vamp, Charlie.
Well done! I'll definitely follow up with the rest of this series. It's my first experience with Silvana Falcon and I was pleasantly surprised how much I enjoyed this.
Each book stands alone. Light spice. Dual pov, 3rd person. Highly recommend.