Ride or Die

A Feminist Manifesto for the Well-Being of Black Women

De: Shanita Hubbard

Narrado por: Tovah Ott

Cultural criticism and pop culture history intertwine in this important book, which dissects how hip hop has sidelined Black women's identity and emotional well-being.
Do you have a “ride or die chick” in your life? A “ride or die chick” is a Black woman who holds down her family and community. She’s that friend or family member that you can call up in the middle of the night to bail you out of jail, if ever needed, and you know she’ll show up and won’t ask any questions. She does anything for her family, friends, and significant other, even at the cost of her own well-being. “No” is not in her vocabulary. She’s beloved by you and many others, but her ride or die trope becomes a problem when she does it indiscriminately. Her self-worth is connected to how much labor she can provide for others. She goes above and beyond for everyone in every aspect of her life—work, family, church, and often it’s not reciprocated, and a “ride or die chick” doesn’t require it to be because she’s a “strong Black woman.” To her, love should be earned, and there’s no limit to what she’ll do for it.

In this book, author, adjunct professor of sociology, and former therapist, Shanita Hubbard disrupts the “ride or die” complex, and argues that this way of life has left Black women exhausted, overworked, overlooked, and feeling depleted. She suggests that Black women are to susceptible this mentality because it’s normalized in our culture. It rings loud in our favorite hip-hop songs, and it even shows up in the most important relationship we will ever have—the one with yourself.

Compassionate, candid, hard-hitting, and 100% unapologetic, Ride-or-Die melds Hubbard’s entertaining conversations with her Black girlfriends and her personal experiences as a redeemed “ride-or-die chick” and a former “captain of the build-a-brother team” to fervently dismantle cultural norms that require Black women to take care of everyone but themselves.

Ride or Die urges you to expel the myth that your self-worth is connected to how much labor you provide others, and guides you toward healing. Using hip hop as a backdrop to explore norms that are harmful to Black women, Hubbard shows the way you may be unknowingly perpetuating this harm within your relationships. Hubbard urges you to pull the plug on the “ride or die chick.”

Reseñas de la Crítica

“A powerful must-read book for Black women. This engaging, thoughtful book uses hip hop as a backdrop to honor our strength and healing as a collective.” —Gabrielle Union

“This beautiful brilliant Black woman bares her soul, revealing the struggle far too many of us experience. Shanita takes us into deeply intimate moments of her own life to deconstruct why being a ‘ride or die’ is problematic in ways rarely discussed. With unapologetic strength, she challenges us to see the piercing hole this generational badge of ‘honor’ leaves open and reveals why it's time to remove it and heal.”—Tamron Hall

“With clear-eyed analysis, poignant vulnerability and notable grace, Shanita Hubbard continues the decades-old work of moving the important narratives of women and genderqueer people of the hip hop generation from the margins to the center.”—Dr. Joan Morgan, author of When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost

"In a world that continues to do everything in its power to silence the voice of the Black woman, Shanita's book is the light the world so desperately needs. Ride or Die is honest and poignant about the lives of Black women. Shanita uses the beautifully complex world of hip-hop she was raised in and grew to love as fascinating entry points. But she ultimately holds that same world accountable for its shortcomings of its portrayal of Black women. It's the culture holding the culture responsible."—Justin Tinsley, author of It Was All a Dream

“I've never read a book that gives us as much as Ride or Die gives us. This miracle of a book challenges, affirms, heals, reveals, and loves like nothing I've ever come across before. Shanita Hubbard has opened herself to us all for the purpose of asking us to be better to and for the people around us. She is one of our preeminent master teachers, using Hip-Hop as her curriculum, and we are all better for having been given these lessons.” —David Dennis Jr, author of The Movement Made Us

Hits Home

Shanita Hubbard uses popular songs from the hip hop era to color the commonly accepted perception that women are everything in their relationships with men even to their own detriment.

A Must Read

This book fills in all of the gaps. It eloquently allows readers see the full spectrum of what others authors on this topic have laid the ground work on. It is superior writing. It’s intellectually and stylistically superior.

Great Read

This book definitely called me in. I’m thankful to have read this and will reread to ensure I get all I can to be more consciously aware of the topics.

Soundtrack of my life

The subtle (and not so subtle) messages of hop hop music provides the framework for this book. This book spoke to me because those songs were the soundtrack of my life. The book covers a lot of ground, weaving the messages we received from music with how it might have shaped young girls' perceptions of themselves and relationships. So much resonated with me, but especially the chapter on applying restorative justice concepts to relationships and growth. Pretty sure I'll return to this book again and again.

The truth and reflection

I was able to relate to every word of this book!! Thanks for writing it!!!

I love this book!

I love it. This book discusses the different layers of being a black women in America. When I first started reading this, I was like “why all the hip hop references”. But as I continue to read, I started to understand where Shanita is going with it. This is a great read for everyone not just black women.

Beautiful!!

This is a beautiful share and impressive work for women and I intend to share with my sista friends (cisgender and queer). Thank you.

The Ride or Die Identify Explained

I needed to listen to a book like this one. Ms. Hubbard broke down the meaning of Ride or Die and delved into the elements of its identity. She has hit the nail on the head many times over....I kept nodding my head in agreement with my playing the role of Ride or Die.

Thank you for shedding some light on this topic. You've reminded me of how to move when it comes to romantic relationships in a healthier way.

Great read

Enjoyed listening to this book. So insightful and informative of what it means to be a Black woman.

A must read for black women everywhere

I’d recommend this book to young women, women needing to be heard and recognized. Women in the middle of divorce (like me), women who have been broken. And women who want to better understand themselves at the intersectionality of racial and gender oppression.