-
Addicted to Perfect
- A Journey Out of the Grips of Adderall
- Narrado por: Erica Sullivan
- Duración: 7 h y 55 m
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Resumen del Editor
Perfection is the thief of joy. It’s a lie that keeps us in a stranglehold of chaos, people-pleasing, and addiction. Perfection says we are never good enough. It holds us back from being our truest, most authentic selves.
Author Vitale Buford spent nearly three decades of her life in the web of perfection. She was praised for being an "easy child", "pretty", and "self-motivated", so that's what she tried to be. Her need for perfection and outside success was coupled with her body-image obsession. It was also a distraction from the pain of abandonment and loneliness she experienced in her childhood. When she tied her self-worth to her external success and her appearance, her addiction to perfection was born.
In her junior year of college, Vitale was introduced to Adderall as a "study drug". She used it for a few months - and ended up losing 20 pounds; she also got her best grades ever with her most rigorous course load. She was sure she had discovered the "perfect drug". When she was able to obtain her own prescription the following year, it hooked her immediately. She was addicted not only to Adderall, but also to the perfection, the weight loss, and her newfound ability to accomplish projects and tasks with ease. This was the beginning of a 10-year love affair with Adderall.
In Addicted to Perfect, Vitale shares the highs and lows of having been a slave to Adderall, the destructive relationships that ensued, and the way that she finally broke free. She details the many twists and turns involved in the years leading up to her getting sober and the eating disorder that followed her into sobriety. Perfectionism is no longer something that enslaves her, and Vitale's story is one of hope that no matter where you are in your life, you can release yourself from the grip of perfection.
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Here's the Story
- Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice
- De: Maureen McCormick
- Narrado por: Maureen McCormick
- Duración: 5 h y 58 m
- Versión resumida
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Marcia Brady, eldest daughter on television's The Brady Bunch, had it all. But what viewers didn't know about the always sunny, perfect Marcia was that offscreen, her real-life counterpart, Maureen McCormick was living a very different - and not so wonderful - life. Maureen tells the shocking and inspirational true story of the beloved teen and the woman she became.
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Gripping
- De Chris en 08-12-14
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Idiots
- Marriage, Motherhood, Milk & Mistakes
- De: Laura Clery
- Narrado por: Laura Clery
- Duración: 8 h y 16 m
- Versión completa
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A fresh, hilarious, and relatable collection of essays about everything from motherhood and marriage to sobriety and work-life balance (or imbalance) from the nationally bestselling author of the “honest, complicated” (SheKnows) Idiot.
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Tears and laughs!!
- De Anonymous User en 04-07-22
De: Laura Clery
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Girl, Wash Your Face
- Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be
- De: Rachel Hollis
- Narrado por: Rachel Hollis
- Duración: 7 h y 4 m
- Versión completa
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As the founder of the lifestyle website TheChicSite.com and CEO of her own media company, Rachel Hollis developed an immense online community by sharing tips for better living while fearlessly revealing the messiness of her own life. Now, in this challenging and inspiring new book, Rachel exposes the 20 lies and misconceptions that too often hold us back from living joyfully and productively.
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More for women who are mothers
- De MeredithNCSU girl en 04-07-18
De: Rachel Hollis
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Transition
- The Story of How I Became a Man
- De: Chaz Bono
- Narrado por: Chaz Bono
- Duración: 6 h y 40 m
- Versión completa
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At first, America knew the only child of Sonny and Cher as Chastity, the cherubic little girl who appeared on her parents' TV show. In later years, she became famous for coming out on a national stage, working with two major organizations toward LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) rights and publishing two books. And just within the past 18 months, Chaz Bono has entered the public consciousness as the most high-profile transgender person ever.
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Great book
- De Lisa M. W. en 10-26-19
De: Chaz Bono
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Pride Over Pity
- De: Kailyn Lowry
- Narrado por: Renee Chambliss
- Duración: 5 h y 18 m
- Versión completa
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Fans of MTV's Teen Mom have watched Kailyn Lowry grow from a vulnerable, pregnant teen into a fiercely independent young mother. Through it all Kailyn has faced challenges with her head held high and her spirit intact. In a moving effort to finally put the past behind her, Kailyn shares her troubled, often painful story and reveals the dark secrets she has so closely guarded.
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Ridiculous
- De Anonymous User en 08-25-18
De: Kailyn Lowry
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I'm the One That I Want
- De: Margaret Cho
- Narrado por: Margaret Cho
- Duración: 4 h y 57 m
- Versión resumida
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I'm the One That I Want, based on her show of the same name, is filled with dead-on insights about the experience of being a woman with attitude, of flowing with the highs and lows of life, and of creating one's own identity and acceptance. It is every bit as hilarious, shocking, and irreverent as she is.
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Hilarious and deeply engrossing
- De Ling en 04-10-03
De: Margaret Cho
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The Naked Lady Who Stood on Her Head
- A Psychiatrist's Stories of His Most Bizarre Cases
- De: Gary Small M.D., Gigi Vorgan
- Narrado por: Marc Cashman
- Duración: 9 h y 46 m
- Versión completa
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True stories are more bizarre than any fiction, and Dr. Gary Small knows this best. After 30 distinguished years of psychiatry and groundbreaking research on the human brain, Dr. Small has seen it all - now he is ready to open his office doors for the first time and tell all about the most mysterious, intriguing, and bizarre patients of his career. The Naked Lady Who Stood on Her Head is a spellbinding record of the doctor's most bewildering cases.
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90% Useless Information
- De Think B4 Eating en 10-01-10
De: Gary Small M.D., y otros
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In the Water They Can't See You Cry
- A Memoir
- De: Amanda Beard, Rebecca Paley
- Narrado por: Tavia Gilbert
- Duración: 8 h y 10 m
- Versión completa
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At the tender age of 14, Amanda Beard walked onto the pool deck at the Atlanta Olympics carrying her teddy bear, Harold, and left with two silvers and a gold medal. She competed in three more Olympic games, winning a total of seven medals, and enjoyed a lucrative modeling career on the side. At one point, she was the most downloaded female athlete on the Internet. Yet despite her astonishing career and sex-symbol status, Amanda felt unworthy of all her success. Unaware that she was suffering from clinical depression, she hid the pain beneath a megawatt smile.
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I applaud Amanda - but her editor's were lame
- De Heather en 03-10-15
De: Amanda Beard, y otros
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Missing Parts
- De: Lucinda Berry
- Narrado por: Abby Craden
- Duración: 6 h y 43 m
- Versión completa
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Growing up abandoned by her father and raised by a single mother, Celeste was determined to create the perfect family - but even perfect families have secrets. Her days are filled with a rewarding career, a devoted husband, and her four-year-old daughter. Celeste is the only one who knows the precarious house of cards her family is built upon - until the day her daughter falls critically ill. Then her world quickly spirals out of control, her secret threatening to destroy her marriage, family, reputation, and sanity.
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SPOILER ALERT. Sigh...
- De Kelly en 10-08-20
De: Lucinda Berry
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Coming Home to Myself
- A Memoir
- De: Wynonna Judd, Patsi Bale Cox
- Narrado por: Ellen Archer
- Duración: 9 h y 40 m
- Versión completa
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Coming Home to Myself is the result of that emotional journey, a song of personal discovery that taught Wynonna Judd to love not just what she does, but who she is. From a truly exceptional woman comes an unexpected memoir of survival, strength, hope, and forgiveness, filled with an exultant and empowering message certain to resonate with those who have dreamed of finding themselves, and who only needed the courage and inspiration to begin their own journey.
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Not an Interesting Memoir
- De Marcos en 03-14-09
De: Wynonna Judd, y otros
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Committed
- Dispatches from a Psychiatrist in Training
- De: Adam Stern MD
- Narrado por: Adam Stern MD
- Duración: 7 h y 3 m
- Versión completa
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Adam Stern was a student at a state medical school before being selected to train as a psychiatry resident at one of the most prestigious programs in the country. His new and initially intimidating classmates were high achievers from the Ivy League and other elite universities. Faculty raved about the group as though the residency program had won the lottery, nicknaming them “The Golden Class”, but would Stern ever prove that he belonged? In his memoir, Stern pulls back the curtain on the intense and emotionally challenging lessons he and his fellow doctors learned.
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Thank you for reminding me,
- De Ms D en 12-29-21
De: Adam Stern MD
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Inside Out
- A Memoir
- De: Demi Moore
- Narrado por: Demi Moore
- Duración: 6 h y 31 m
- Versión completa
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For decades, Demi Moore has been synonymous with celebrity. From iconic film roles to high-profile relationships, Moore has never been far from the spotlight - or the headlines. Even as Demi was becoming the highest paid actress in Hollywood, however, she was always outrunning her past. Throughout her rise to fame and during some of the most pivotal moments of her life, Demi battled addiction, body image issues, and childhood trauma that would follow her for years - all while juggling a skyrocketing career and at times negative public perception.
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I loved this Memoir
- De mrsbee19 en 09-25-19
De: Demi Moore
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Drinking and Tweeting
- And Other Brandi Blunders
- De: Brandi Glanville, Leslie Bruce
- Narrado por: Brandi Glanville
- Duración: 5 h y 31 m
- Versión completa
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Fans have been waiting for Brandi’s scoop on one of the biggest divorces of the decade since her husband of eight years abandoned her and their two sons to marry country singer LeAnn Rimes. Not only does Brandi spill the beans about her side of the split, but the lovable housewife also shares the incredible wild ride that took her from a life in the ghetto to Hollywood’s most elite circles.
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Who edited this?
- De Jessica en 11-02-20
De: Brandi Glanville, y otros
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The Man I Never Met
- A Memoir
- De: Adam Schefter
- Narrado por: Adam Schefter
- Duración: 4 h y 35 m
- Versión completa
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On September 11, 2001, Joe Maio went to work in the north tower of the World Trade Center. He never returned, leaving behind a wife, Sharri, and 15-month old son, Devon. Five years later, Sharri remarried, and Devon welcomed a new dad into his life. For thousands, the whole country really, 9/11 is a day of grief. For Adam and Sharri Maio Schefter and their family it’s not just a day of grief, but also hope. This is a story of 9/11, but it’s also the story of 9/12 and all the days after. Life moved on. Pieces were picked up. New dreams were dreamed. The Schefters are the embodiment of that.
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Remembering a fallen father thru a family
- De Bob H en 09-07-18
De: Adam Schefter
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How to Murder Your Life
- A Memoir
- De: Cat Marnell
- Narrado por: Cat Marnell
- Duración: 12 h y 6 m
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From Cat Marnell, "New York's enfant terrible" ( The Telegraph), a candid and darkly humorous memoir of prescription drug addiction and self-sabotage, set in the glamorous world of fashion magazines and downtown nightclubs.
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nice book
- De Taylor en 03-14-17
De: Cat Marnell
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Stash
- My Life in Hiding
- De: Laura Cathcart Robbins
- Narrado por: Laura Cathcart Robbins
- Duración: 9 h y 28 m
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After years of hiding her addiction from everyone—from stockpiling pills in her Louboutins to elaborately scheduling withdrawals between PTA meetings, baby showers, and tennis matches—Laura Cathcart Robbins settles into a complicated purgatory. She learns the hard way that privilege doesn’t protect you from pain. Facing divorce, the possibility of a grueling custody battle, and internalized racism, Robbins wonders just how much more she can take. Now, with courage, she reveals how she managed to begin the long journey toward sobriety and unexpectedly finding new love.
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Best Mom/wife alcoholism memoir I’ve read
- De Allison M. Billet en 04-06-23
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The Adderall Diaries
- A Memoir of Moods, Masochism, and Murder
- De: Stephen Elliott
- Narrado por: Jason Butler Harner
- Duración: 6 h y 54 m
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In the spring of 2007, a brilliant computer programmer named Hans Reiser stands accused of murdering his estranged wife, Nina. Despite a mountain of circumstantial evidence against him, he proclaims his innocence. The case takes a twist when Nina’s former lover, and Hans’s former best friend, Sean Sturgeon, confesses to eight unrelated murders that no one has ever heard of. At the time of Sturgeon’s confession, Stephen Elliot is paralyzed by writer’s block, in the thrall of Adderall dependency, and despondent over the state of his romantic life. But he is fascinated by Sturgeon, whose path he has often crossed....
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Not for everyone!!!
- De KellyEliza en 08-14-15
De: Stephen Elliott
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American Drug Addict
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- Narrado por: Ryan Turner
- Duración: 9 h y 34 m
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My name is Brett. I'm a college-educated man who was once a husband of 26 years with two children, three businesses, and a large home with an actual white picket fence. I'm also a drug addict. And I have a tale to tell. It's about the despair of addiction and the absolute certainty that it can be overcome. Recovery is not simply abstinence, but a process of growing up. I spent my entire life searching for the key to long-term sobriety. I would like to share with you what I have learned.
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UGHHHH. NOOOO.
- De karen McCann en 09-29-18
De: Brett Douglas
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Tweak
- Growing Up on Methamphetamines
- De: Nic Sheff
- Narrado por: Paul Michael Garcia
- Duración: 12 h y 17 m
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Nic Sheff was drunk for the first time at age 11. In the years that followed, he would regularly smoke pot, do cocaine and ecstasy, and develop addictions to crystal meth and heroin. Even so, he felt like he would always be able to quit and put his life together whenever he needed to. It took a violent relapse one summer in California to convince him otherwise.
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Painful Journey
- De David en 11-15-10
De: Nic Sheff
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All the Things We Never Knew
- Chasing the Chaos of Mental Illness
- De: Sheila Hamilton
- Narrado por: Sheila Hamilton
- Duración: 8 h y 44 m
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Even as a reporter, Sheila Hamilton missed the signs as her husband David's mental illness unfolded before her. By the time she had pieced together the puzzle, it was too late.
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Author is an unsympathetic martyr.
- De AmazonFanForLife en 04-15-18
De: Sheila Hamilton
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How to Murder Your Life
- A Memoir
- De: Cat Marnell
- Narrado por: Cat Marnell
- Duración: 12 h y 6 m
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From Cat Marnell, "New York's enfant terrible" ( The Telegraph), a candid and darkly humorous memoir of prescription drug addiction and self-sabotage, set in the glamorous world of fashion magazines and downtown nightclubs.
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nice book
- De Taylor en 03-14-17
De: Cat Marnell
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Stash
- My Life in Hiding
- De: Laura Cathcart Robbins
- Narrado por: Laura Cathcart Robbins
- Duración: 9 h y 28 m
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General
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After years of hiding her addiction from everyone—from stockpiling pills in her Louboutins to elaborately scheduling withdrawals between PTA meetings, baby showers, and tennis matches—Laura Cathcart Robbins settles into a complicated purgatory. She learns the hard way that privilege doesn’t protect you from pain. Facing divorce, the possibility of a grueling custody battle, and internalized racism, Robbins wonders just how much more she can take. Now, with courage, she reveals how she managed to begin the long journey toward sobriety and unexpectedly finding new love.
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Best Mom/wife alcoholism memoir I’ve read
- De Allison M. Billet en 04-06-23
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The Adderall Diaries
- A Memoir of Moods, Masochism, and Murder
- De: Stephen Elliott
- Narrado por: Jason Butler Harner
- Duración: 6 h y 54 m
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In the spring of 2007, a brilliant computer programmer named Hans Reiser stands accused of murdering his estranged wife, Nina. Despite a mountain of circumstantial evidence against him, he proclaims his innocence. The case takes a twist when Nina’s former lover, and Hans’s former best friend, Sean Sturgeon, confesses to eight unrelated murders that no one has ever heard of. At the time of Sturgeon’s confession, Stephen Elliot is paralyzed by writer’s block, in the thrall of Adderall dependency, and despondent over the state of his romantic life. But he is fascinated by Sturgeon, whose path he has often crossed....
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Not for everyone!!!
- De KellyEliza en 08-14-15
De: Stephen Elliott
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American Drug Addict
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- De: Brett Douglas
- Narrado por: Ryan Turner
- Duración: 9 h y 34 m
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My name is Brett. I'm a college-educated man who was once a husband of 26 years with two children, three businesses, and a large home with an actual white picket fence. I'm also a drug addict. And I have a tale to tell. It's about the despair of addiction and the absolute certainty that it can be overcome. Recovery is not simply abstinence, but a process of growing up. I spent my entire life searching for the key to long-term sobriety. I would like to share with you what I have learned.
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UGHHHH. NOOOO.
- De karen McCann en 09-29-18
De: Brett Douglas
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Tweak
- Growing Up on Methamphetamines
- De: Nic Sheff
- Narrado por: Paul Michael Garcia
- Duración: 12 h y 17 m
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General
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Narración:
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Nic Sheff was drunk for the first time at age 11. In the years that followed, he would regularly smoke pot, do cocaine and ecstasy, and develop addictions to crystal meth and heroin. Even so, he felt like he would always be able to quit and put his life together whenever he needed to. It took a violent relapse one summer in California to convince him otherwise.
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Painful Journey
- De David en 11-15-10
De: Nic Sheff
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All the Things We Never Knew
- Chasing the Chaos of Mental Illness
- De: Sheila Hamilton
- Narrado por: Sheila Hamilton
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Even as a reporter, Sheila Hamilton missed the signs as her husband David's mental illness unfolded before her. By the time she had pieced together the puzzle, it was too late.
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Author is an unsympathetic martyr.
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ADHD Nation
- Children, Doctors, Big Pharma, and the Making of an American Epidemic
- De: Alan Schwarz
- Narrado por: Jonathan Todd Ross
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A groundbreaking and definitive account of the widespread misdiagnosis of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and its serious effects on children, adults, and society. More than one in seven American children are getting diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) - three times what experts have said is appropriate, making it one of the most mishandled and debated conditions in medicine.
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Adroitly written and expertly narrated
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De: Alan Schwarz
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In My Skin
- A Memoir of Addiction
- De: Kate Holden
- Narrado por: Christy Lynn
- Duración: 8 h y 21 m
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General
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A shy, bookish college graduate from a solid middle-class home, Kate Holden was uncertain of her way in life. When she decided to try her first hit of heroin, she did not anticipate that the drug would take over. Desperation drove her first to offer her body on the streets and then in high-class brothels, where she discovered hidden strengths as well as parts of herself that frightened her. With the acceptance and unyielding love of a family that never abandoned her, Kate Holden ultimately defeated the drug and left her netherworld behind.
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NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING...
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De: Kate Holden
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Gravitas
- The 8 Strengths That Redefine Confidence
- De: Lisa Sun
- Narrado por: Lisa Sun
- Duración: 8 h y 16 m
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General
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Narración:
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Historia
In her groundbreaking book, fashion entrepreneur Lisa Sun challenges traditional notions of confidence with a new approach to living with self-assurance. What she’s learned from thousands of conversations with women from dressing rooms to boardrooms is that we feel genuinely confident when we value and deploy our strengths. Those strengths come in many forms, not just a singular ideal. Backed by quantitative research, Sun expands the definition of gravitas with an inclusive and uplifting vocabulary for confidence.
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⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
- De Senta Berger en 02-01-24
De: Lisa Sun
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The Weight of Air
- A Story of the Lies About Addiction and the Truth About Recovery
- De: David Poses
- Narrado por: Charlie Thurston
- Duración: 8 h y 7 m
- Versión completa
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General
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While his wife and two-year-old daughter watched TV in the living room, David Poses was in the kitchen, measuring the distance from his index finger to his armpit. He needed to be sure he could pull the trigger with a shotgun barrel in his mouth. Twenty-six inches. Thirty-two years old. More than a decade in a double life fueled by depression and heroin.
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David’s story is invaluable
- De Kristy Aiken-Smith en 03-13-22
De: David Poses
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Strung Out
- One Last Hit and Other Lies That Nearly Killed Me
- De: Erin Khar
- Narrado por: Jayme Mattler
- Duración: 10 h y 4 m
- Versión completa
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General
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Narración:
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This deeply personal and illuminating memoir about her 15-year struggle with heroin, Khar sheds profound light on the opioid crisis and gives a voice to the over two million people in America currently battling with this addiction. Growing up in LA, Erin Khar hid behind a picture-perfect childhood filled with excellent grades, a popular group of friends and horseback riding. After first experimenting with her grandmother’s expired painkillers, Khar started using heroin when she was thirteen.
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Surface material
- De blythe mayfield en 03-06-20
De: Erin Khar
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Three Little Words
- A Memoir
- De: Ashley Rhodes-Courter
- Narrado por: Ashley Rhodes-Courter
- Duración: 8 h y 19 m
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Ashley Rhodes-Courter spent nine years of her life in 14 different foster homes. As her mother spirals out of control, Ashley is left clinging to an unpredictable, dissolving relationship, all the while getting pulled deeper and deeper into the foster-care system. In this inspiring, unforgettable memoir, Ashley finds the courage to succeed - and in doing so, discovers the power of her own voice.
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Been there, done that
- De Sher from Provo en 01-16-12
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Addictions
- A Banquet in the Grave: Finding Hope in the Power of the Gospel
- De: Edward T. Welch
- Narrado por: David Cochran Heath
- Duración: 9 h y 16 m
- Versión completa
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General
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Historia
A worship disorder: This is how Edward T. Welch views addictions. "Will we worship our own desires or will we worship the true God?" With this lens the author discovers far more in Scripture on addictions than passages on drunkenness.
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Hard-hitting, but immensely accurate and Biblical
- De Amazon Customer en 12-30-23
De: Edward T. Welch
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High Achiever
- The Incredible True Story of One Addict's Double Life
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- Narrado por: Tiffany Jenkins
- Duración: 8 h y 53 m
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With heart-racing urgency and unflinching honesty, Jenkins takes you inside the grips of addiction and the desperate decisions it breeds. She is a born storyteller who lived an incredible story, from blackmail by an ex-boyfriend to a soul-shattering deal with a drug dealer, and her telling brims with suspense and unexpected wit. But the true surprise is her path to recovery. Tiffany breaks through the stigma and silence to offer hope and inspiration to anyone battling the disease - whether it’s a loved one or themselves.
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I Get it, You Were an Addict
- De Jim Thompson en 10-16-19
De: Tiffany Jenkins
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Starving in Search of Me
- De: Marissa LaRocca
- Narrado por: Emily Woo Zeller
- Duración: 3 h y 53 m
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General
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This confessional self-help guide explores the complex emotional truth of what it’s like when food, weight, and body image take priority over every other human impulse or action. Activist author Marissa LaRocca’s revelatory tale includes her struggle with her secrets, including sexuality, and how she emerged as an outspoken advocate for gay rights and women’s health issues.
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Preachy
- De J.B. en 03-21-18
De: Marissa LaRocca
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The Bitter Taste of Dying
- A Memoir
- De: Jason Smith
- Narrado por: Paul Costanzo
- Duración: 6 h y 6 m
- Versión completa
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General
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Narración:
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Historia
In his first book, author Jason Smith explores the depravity and desperation required to maintain an opiate addiction so fierce, he finds himself jumping continents to avoid jail time and learns the hard way that some demons cannot be outrun. While teaching in Europe, he meets a prostitute who secures drugs for him at the dangerous price of helping out the Russian Mafia; in China he gets his Percocet and Xanax fixes but terrifies a crowd of children and parents at his job in the process.
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The Amazing Race on narcotics
- De Midwestbonsai en 07-07-16
De: Jason Smith
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Self-Tanner for the Soul
- How I Ran Away to Europe and Found My Inner Glow (When Life Got Dark)
- De: Cat Marnell
- Narrado por: Cat Marnell
- Duración: 6 h
- Grabación Original
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General
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Narración:
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Historia
The spring of 2017 should have been the greatest time of Cat Marnell’s life. She was 34 and living the New York glamour life downtown, with a thriving career and a best-selling memoir. Instead, it was one of the worst. She’d gone through a protracted and traumatic breakup, nearly run out of money, and, during a month-long binge, "done something horrible" to herself that she couldn’t undo. Her troubles mounting, Marnell makes a radically simple choice: She decides to leave her problems behind.
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Substance free and self indulgent
- De CC en 10-24-19
De: Cat Marnell
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Girl Walks Out of a Bar
- A Memoir
- De: Lisa F. Smith
- Narrado por: Hillary Huber
- Duración: 8 h y 47 m
- Versión completa
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General
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Narración:
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Lisa Smith was a bright young lawyer at a prestigious law firm in New York City when alcoholism and drug addiction took over her life. What was once a way she escaped her insecurity and negativity as a teenager became a means of coping with the anxiety and stress of an impossible workload. Girl Walks Out of a Bar explores Smith's formative years, her decade of alcohol and drug abuse, divorce, and her road to recovery.
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A Good Look At The Dual-Diagnosis...
- De Gillian en 06-14-17
De: Lisa F. Smith
Lo que los oyentes dicen sobre Addicted to Perfect
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- RRobinR
- 09-18-21
everyone's journey is different
this book proves that. the need, the frustration & the deep seated emotional baggage brought into our present is always a reflection of our journey. but without pitfalls and mistakes, how would we ever know peace, harmony & love?
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- Heidi Ho
- 02-09-22
Finally…a book that acknowledges root causes of addiction that have nothing to do with hedonism!
I’m a Master’s candidate in Addictions Counseling, and in long term recovery from Substance Use Disorders. I was a gifted student as a child, the one who held the family together, and a victim of sexual abuse and trafficking as a young teen. I not only “made it back,” but graduated on time, with honors, despite a string of foster homes, kid institutions, and the streets (but not drugs). I engaged in activism, but rejected therapy, not willing to be pathologized for my abuse. As a young woman who was generally considered a go-getter, I had an aversion to the party lifestyle and rejected hedonism. So “uptight” was I that I had tried several drugs and alcohol and never felt a high, so I was not inclined to repeat….UNTIL I was injured and left with chronic pain. As an over-achiever, I couldn’t stand to be laid up. I found opiates helped me keep working and being active. Later, I found that stimulants balanced my opiate fatigue, and kept me productive…until they didn’t. I tried stimulants to “hang onto” a man in recovery, who relapsed and ran off with other women, when he would use. If I used with him, he didn’t…as much. I didn’t, as much, like the drug as I wanted to be enough for him. It worked…he stayed by my side while, predictably, my life spun out of control. This is a very common story of how women become addicted. I felt shamed by treatment professionals’ assumption that I was a hedonistic partier. It wasn’t the truth of my experience. There is a cultural myth of the irresistible power and pleasure of the drug high. However, this is a subjective experience. I have always been fearful, if I am not clear-headed, so I never, particularly, liked the feeling of altered consciousness. Many, like me, have other primary issues underlying drug use. Be it the need to be more socially, sexually, in the workplace, to family, or to a man, many women use drugs to be Superwoman. Before this book, I have never heard this spoken of. I went through 5 treatment facilities being told to, “get real,” and admit that I, “just like getting high.” Finally, a counselor told me she understood that I was using drugs to try to be lovable and worthy, and that what I did made perfect sense (something addicts don’t hear often). I felt so inadequate, it seemed worth dying for, with a very few fleeting highs coaxed by the only man I ever trusted to take me there, and a host of unpleasant side effects, agonizing lows, and catastrophic events, on the way. Finally feeling understood, the need for approval and the drug use that got it for me subsided. Still, I had never heard a story like mine. I’m studying to be a treatment counselor, in hopes of providing a more inclusive treatment experience for all. I believe people have a variety of underlying reasons for using drugs, which are usually (though, perhaps, not always) stronger than the drugs themselves. This bodes well for recovery. because underlying issues can be understood, addressed, and even conquered. Given how atypical Vitale’s motivations for using speed were (not so she could drink and party for 3 days, but so she could excel), I was a bit surprised at her unquestioning acceptance of the AA model, and the treatment staff’s characterization of her. I don’t know why expected a bit more resistance and critique. Maybe they didn’t use the full-out dressing down and shaming tactics I encountered in the court-ordered, punitive, yet ostensibly 12-step focused treatment centers I first went to, and “failed.” While I found actual AA/NA meeting last outside of treatment centers more harmful than helpful in its treatment of a biopsychosocial problem with prayer and confession, I did not experience it as overtly emotionally abusive. I can see how like she or I, having fallen on our faces, could be humbled enough to go along with it. if there were the reward of basic human respect for doing so. Maybe the difference in our experience was that her 12-step based treatment was through decent insurance and mine, an indigent court program. I’m glad standard treatment worked for her. I was told I was “terminally unique,” but getting to the bottom of my unique issues has left me alive and mentally well, but with a lot of physical battle scars from the stubbornness of my condition or personality, whichever you prefer. Either way, I feel I will be a better counselor for my journey, and for the fact that Vitale shared hers with me!
Note: No one should stigmatize people who are risk-takers and sensation-seekers, and who find great pleasure in substances! There’s nothing better about being a fearful/avoidant person who uses drugs to control, rather than to lose control. Everyone reacts to substances differentlly, yet drugs do us all the same, when addicted. I just think it’s cool to represent all kinds in the literature. I was a definitely a dork in the drug world!
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- Desislava Doncheva
- 06-03-22
Very enjoyable
Vitale's story is not unique (addiction wise) but feels so real and close to the heart that everyone should read it. I found the title very interesting.
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- Caitlin
- 01-10-23
Therapeutic and Healing
Extremely relatable and eye opening to the journey of addiction! Vitale thank you for your transparency!
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- Amazon Customer
- 01-06-23
I had no idea Adderall was a thing people abused! This story was very impactful.
I really liked the authenticity of this author. She laid it all out there. She was even surprised by who she was and the lengths she would go to to support/continue her addiction. She address the hypocrisy that she didn’t recognize in herself but she could her own family members. The ending of the book was so heartwarming. The fact that she did what she was called to do selflessly and the end result was a blessing. And she was from my home state KY, which was also a pleasant surprise. Thank you for sharing your experience and your heart to help those of us understand that addiction can taken many forms. A great listen!
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- Adding
- 04-24-23
A young woman's story of addiction to legal drug
Couldnt stop listening and finished the audiobook in a weekend. Very interesting listen about development and recovery of a drug addict on adderal. I've never done adderal. I have known people to exploit ot for college or long hours of work. I have also knon people are prescribed it for adhd.
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- Rebecca Gennette
- 09-06-21
It's Like Reading My Journals
I wondered if I had a twin out there or something. The way she thinks and her general thought process, although a tad on the spoiled, narcissistic sude, was like the exact way I think. Great story. Can relate to it 100%
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- J. T.
- 08-25-21
Beautiful
This is a beautiful story of Hope. Thank you Vitale for sharing it with the world.
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- Rachel B
- 08-31-21
Lots of honesty and vulnerability
I love the authors vulnerability and honesty in this book. Great introspection, a really good read, and it really raise my awareness on this topic.
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- eric stahl
- 12-27-21
great read!
interesting tale told by a female perspective dealing with many issues I never thought of.
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