In Each Other's Care

A Guide to the Most Common Relationship Conflicts and How to Work Through Them

By: Stan Tatkin PsyD MFT, Lin Chen

Narrated by: Stan Tatkin PsyD MFT, Andrew Pike, Dagny Chika, Jeff Mack, Mitchell Clute, Sahar Al-Nima, Sarah Stanton

Length: 12 hrs and 19 mins

Publisher's summary

Break the Cycle: A Comprehensive Guide to Overcome Chronic Relationship Struggles

Few things are more frustrating than repeating the same fight with your partner. Playing out the same disagreement about money, parenting, sex, or household chores may leave you exhausted, cut off from the person you want to feel close to. While conflict in any relationship is inevitable, healing is possible. With In Each Other's Care, Stan Tatkin shares a hands-on repair manual that will help you discover how arguments get triggered, why they keep happening, and what you can do to get better at communicating what you want without the drama.

Drawing on his vast experience as a couples therapist, Tatkin uses the concept of secure functioning—a two-person psychological system of teamwork, full collaboration, and cooperation based on fairness, justice, and mutual sensitivity. This form of unionizing “takes time to learn,” Tatkin says. “And still, the rewards are awesome and make the effort worthwhile. Secure functioning benefits you, your partner, your family, your friends, everything, and everyone.”

Throughout In Each Other’s Care, Tatkin offers targeted lessons, sample dialogues, and heartfelt wisdom. Through this life-changing practice, you will be able to:

• Identify the source of unhappiness in your relationship
• Learn techniques for preventing problems before they occur
• Heal the emotional wounds of the past
• Transform conflict and struggle into win-win outcomes
• Renew broken connections and return to intimacy

Whether you’ve been in a relationship for years or are just beginning the journey, In Each Other’s Care is a wonderfully supportive guide that will show you how to work through even the most contentious topics with compassion and respect.

©2023 Stan Tatkin and Lin Chen (P)2023 Sounds True

Critic reviews

“Reading Stan Tatkin is like listening to your favorite wise uncle armed with the latest developments in brain research. Smart, practical, blessedly specific, In Each Other’s Care asks: What would our relationships be like if we remembered, even in stressful moments, that we are actually in a relationship? When we feel threatened, we lose each other and revert to I, me, mine—forgetting, that our very well-being depends on the emotional ecosystem we’re a part of. Stan reminds us that taking care of one another, of our union, is taking care of ourselves. He offers actionable tools, like how to speak up and care for your partner at the same time. This book is a revolution. It has the power to transform your relationship and your life.” —Terrence Real, New York Times bestselling author of Us and founder of the Relational Life Institute

“Since, as couples, we are ‘in each other’s care’ and since, according to the author, we are all difficult to live with, it makes sense that we need a guide to help us take care of each other. And that is what Stan Tatkin, a relationship scholar and seasoned therapist, has provided. If you find yourself in one or several of the conflict scenarios he has provided, you have a ready-to-hand guide for its resolution. If you do not find yourself there, the solution process applies anyway, and we encourage you to use it. We recommend this book to all couples for achieving their optimal care of each other.” —Harville Hendrix, PhD, and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD, authors of Getting the Love You Want

“If your partnership needs a visit to the repair shop, read this book. With Tatkin’s wisdom and experience, your complaints may finally come to rest and you’ll be laughing together again. People in happy partnerships live over five years longer. Tatkin may even extend your life!” —Helen Fisher, PhD, author of Anatomy of Love and senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute

Stan is a genius therapist

I read every book multiple times.
I had an aha moment after reading relationship RX .
Stan changed my life.
I now consider my self a recovering avoidant!
I am married and we read these books separately and together,

A Blue-Print and Repair Manual for relationships

If all relationships started with this straightforward and clear understanding and agreement, they would experience less fear, hurt, betrayal, aggravation, and loss. I will continue recommending this to all my clients, family, and friends.

Stan's best work yet.

I honestly think that this book is the ultimate relationship manual for every single couple or partnership on the planet that wants to work through the challenges and difficulties. I am so impressed with this book. I'm definitely going to listen to it multiple times. there's so much wisdom and I feel like I have a better understanding of my own shortcomings in terms of intimate partnership relationships. The challenge is trying to create a relationship where two people are on board with this philosophy.

Favorite relationship book ever

In depth exploration of relational dynamics with practical application! Stan’s best yet, and actually the best relationship book I’ve ever read.

Practico y profundamente interactivo

Inspirador 100% didáctico , una joya para pareja y terapeutas . El enfoque PACT es lo más respetuoso y sistémico que conozco

Super practical explanation and guidance

Dr. Tatkin dives deeper into what were all most conflicted about in relationships—conflict—in his most recent book. By far the best breakdown of how it happens and how to fix it that I’ve ever heard.

The actor vignettes are better and more instructive in this book than in his Relationship Rx book in my opinion. They sound more realistic, better performed, and more clearly explained and analyzed.

So glad that Stan narrated this book himself. He is able to give his work much more meaning through his own voice.

Our Relationship Benefited Greatly

This book helped to deepen our shared purpose, values and principles. And clean up a bunch of bad habits! We are a stronger union and feel we can withstand together whatever life brings us.

I love Tatkin’s work and message.

Highly recommended for couples at any stage of their development. Best to be read often and practiced daily.