Difficult Conversations

How to Discuss What Matters Most

By: Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen

Narrated by: Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen

Length: 5 hrs and 40 mins

Publisher's summary

Dealing with your ex-husband, who can't seem to show up reliably for weekends with the kids; navigating a workplace fraught with office politics or racial tensions; saying "I'm sorry" or "I love you."

We all have difficult conversations, no matter how confident or competent we are. And too often, no matter what we try, things don't go well. Should you say what you're thinking and risk starting a fight? Swallow your views and feel like a doormat? Or should you let them have it? But - what if you're wrong?

Difficult Conversations shows you a way out of this dilemma; it teaches you how to handle even the toughest conversations more effectively and with less anxiety. Based on 15 years of work at Harvard Negotiation Project and consultations with thousands of people, the authors answer the question: When people confront the conversations they dread the most, what works?

Difficult Conversations walks you through a proven, concrete, step-by-step approach for understanding and conducting tough conversations. It shows you how to get ready, how to start the conversations in ways that reduce defensiveness, and how to keep the conversation on a constructive track regardless of how the other person responds.

Whether you're dealing with your baby-sitter or biggest client, your boss or your brother-in-law, Difficult Conversations can help.

©1999 Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen (P)1999 Random House, Inc., All Rights Reserved

Critic reviews

“Does this book deliver on its promise of an effective way through sticky situations, whether ‘with your babysitter or your biggest client’? It does.” (The New York Times)

“These talented communicators blend a daunting array of disciplines into highly readable and practical advice.” (Booklist)

“I’m on my third reading. Half the pages are dog-eared. This is a mind-bogglingly powerful book. For life.” (Tom Peters)

Lots of Gems...

Planning on listening to again to stay fresh on the topic. Its very well performed.

Not bad. Worth a listen.

It seemed fine. I was required to read this for a class, and I’m hopeful that the tips and tricks learned in the book will come in handy. I will have to wait for my next disagreement with someone to find out. The authors did a nice job of outlining the “third story” in every argument and focusing on that.

Vital skills

The skills taught in this book are made very easy to learn and use. Life application is made clear by dialogue examples.

A must-hear audiobook !

This audiobook will make you understand that different people have different views on a specific situation and they all are right. Unfortunately, they come into conflict due to the fact that they can not imagine the other is "right" aswell ! I urge you to listen to this material several time in order to integrate the fact that, in a lot of situations, developing a conflict is simply inadequate due to the fact that everybody naturally and "rightly" has his own version of the story. The book provides examples of a situation as it is experienced by two people. You think that protagonist A is right, and then, the same story is exposed again, but this time from the perpective of B, and you feel yourself caught because you admit that both A and B are "right". This book makes you a bit wiser and contributes to more peacefull relations with others, colleagues, within your couple, etc. This IS important and I thank you the authors for their work !

Improves Conversations

I listened to the audio book and was very happy.Within a month my confidence had improved and I aws able to talk to people about anything.It taught me how to have more fruitful rich conversations.It taught me to respect others opinion and mine too.It taught me tospeak up and believe in myself and my ability.It taught me to solve conflicts.It was a great book.The title should have been improving conversations.Not Difficult Conversations.

How to have an easier, more pleasant life

How do we upset one another without meaning to? How can we salvage a conversation that's going wrong? How can we say "no"? And how much time do we spend agonizing over this stuff? Here are methods and principles that can be used to improve all communications. The presentation is a bit stilted but the content is excellent. Through sample conversations, analysis of what went wrong, and examples of how to do it better, you start to build an understanding of how to hear other people's points of view and present your own. Why do we need to be told? That's covered too. Time spent with this book brought me some quick results, and it's obviously one to revisit.

Very helpful book!

I would recommend as an auto book. I was helpful to listen to the role playing as a conversation.

Good narration

A good book with real value towards controlling more the daily conversations
I recommend it

Great!

Loved it! It's a very helpful book. I use the tips in my private and professional life.

This book changed me.

I have always thought that I was a super thoughtful and reasonable person when it came to handling a conflict. I prided myself on how well I could talk through problems. It was one of the things I liked best about myself. I have learned so much from this book. I was so wrong about myself! What a cool thing to discover that you can be so blind and wrong about yourself and that you can do so much better at something so important. This book has changed me. It teaches attitude changes. It's smart. Really really smart! I have told everyone I love to read it. 4 stars for performance because one of the three readers is not a great speaker. She is a bit awkward. At first it's hard to listen to her, but you get use to her and it becomes a non issue.