Borderline Personality Disorder. "What the hell was that?" raged Rachel Reiland when she read the diagnosis written in her medical chart. As the 29-year-old accountant, wife, and mother of young children would soon discover, it was the diagnosis that finally explained her explosive anger, manipulative behaviors, and self-destructive episodes - including bouts of anorexia, substance abuse, and sexual promiscuity. With astonishing honesty, Reiland's memoir reveals what mental illness feels like and looks like from the inside, and how healing from such a devastating disease is possible through intensive therapy and the support of loved ones.
©2004 Rachel Reiland (P)2010 Audible, Inc.
As a long time psych nurse and someone with a close family member with the same disorder, I can vouch for the reality of this story and the havoc that is reaked upon both the person with the disorder, & the dysfunctional family whose insanity helped create the illness.
I would have like to see it delve more into detail of her family of origin, but that probably is because I'm used to more details in my work. I imagine it's detailed enough for the average reader. I would definitely recommend this to anyone needing a better understanding of borderline personality disorder-especially family members & friends. It's quite informative without being technical. I give it an A++
Anyone diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or Post Taurmatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) will identify with the heroine as she struggles first to accept these new labels and then to fully participate in her treatment and recovery.
The book is not particularly well written; not particularly well narrated; but, it is the only book I have found that offers a first-person account of living through the traumas, diagnoses and treatment of BPD & PTSD. It was painful to listen to and yet tremendously helpful in my own efforts to manage, treat and shed mental illness.
If you suffer from mental illness or have a loved one who does AND can bear some graphic descriptions of sexual trauma (these are also very easy to skip) and mediocre writing, this book may be worth the read. Over and over I found myself saying,
Thank you for sharing your story Rachel. I have much more compassion and knowledge about BPD because of you and can't thank you enough for your bravery in coming forward with the truth of your disorder. I'm amazed how you came through this and am so proud of you for the bravery you displayed and for who you are today.
This book was insightful for those with an interest in BPD. It more or less outlines a specific individuals' path with borderline personality disorder and is by no means a book that gives advice or suggestions to assist someone else suffereing with this disorder. It did give me a feeling of 'I'm not alone in this'.
This gripping story about a fragmented personality is a truly amazing insight into the workings, or failings, of the human mind and the psychiatrist who attempts to unravel the wounds and heal the very capable woman within. It is a fascinating glimpse into mental illness as few survivors can, or would, reveal in such embarrassing detail. It was a tremendous testament to the skilled psychiatrist who endured hours of verbal abuse from the "child" aspect of the woman and never lost patience or acceptance of this woman. He gently probed with leading questions, helping her to reveal events from the her painful past and achieving peace with them, and ultimately restoring her united identity. The patient was a very intelligent woman who had a herculean struggle with all of her metaphorical "demons," sometimes seeming that she might fail to conquer them and succumb to anorexia or suicide. The book is a powerful testimony to the need for mental health coverage, detailing as it did the years-long struggle in one-on-one therapy of this woman. It is no less a struggle than the chemotherapy of cancer patients or that of organ transplantation. This book would probably make a great play or movie.
I bought this book to get some insight into the disorder prior to completing a course on BPD. I found her description of experiences such a wonderful background on which to base the academic studies I embarked on after listening to the book.
This story pulls you in from within the 1st few chapters. By showing what someone feels and thinks when their emotions hit extreme, in many different areas, is very eye opening - it was hard for me to put the book down; wanting to read more, and more and more. Reading her story of BPD, and how she has recovered, was like witnessing evolution, but emotionally, and in a much shorter period of time... "Great Book."
Mexican American Female living in California. Love to read BUT lack the time to indulge in a good read and so greatly enjoy audio books.
The way the story was told. The point of view it was presented from and how generously candid the author was in expressing her experiences. Her honesty was brave and made this book so real, anyone dealing with BPD or living someone who has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder will relate and enjoy this book immensely. I know I did and overall it gave our family something to look forward to.
The main character and of course the therapist the repoir was perfect and drew me to both.
Her voice was great at conveying the mood of the text and most of the time had me feeling like I was eavesdropping to a real conversation and not just listening to a book.
Yes, but it can only be listened to in pieces because it evokes such real feelings and thought from you as a listener.
A wonderful book wish more books were written from such experiences with this real feel.
Accurately describes the black and white thinking of someone with BPD in a way the lay person can understanding. Wish I had read this book before becoming a parent for the insight it gives to nurturing a child and offering unconditional love. Helped me to understand what I missed as a child and the dynamics of my family of origin. This story is not just for BPD; it is for anyone who wants the formula on how to turn their inner child into an healthy, fully functioning adult.
I could relate to so much. It felt so good to be able to relate...I am so thankful that Rachel was wiling to share her story, because I learned a lot and could relate a lot, and it helps all of us, whether we also have borderline or not.
I loved reading about the sarcastic defendant transforming into a soft, caring, and loving adult.
This book made me laugh, cry, and completely empathize.
I feel like I've been through the four years of therapy with her.
"An Educating Listen"
I think I have learned so much from this book. Though it feels wrong to say that I feel entertained, I did, while learning at the same time.
The time flew listening to the book and I laughed out loud one minute and curled my toes the next.
I work with frail people so this book has been good for my work life too.
I do not have a comparison... You do ask some silly questions from time to time ;-)
I have not listened to Mazhan Marno before.. She did very well!
I did have different emotional reactions to the book and it both frightened me and made me laugh.. but even more it gave me food for thought.
It was hard to put down as it moved on so very smoothly.. I think many people may benefit from reading / listening to it.
"Touching, soothing and hopeful"
For anyone going through BPD I can't recommend this enough. It helped me get in touch with my emotions and feelings around the condition - along with therapy. I think that was made possible by Rachel sharing her experiences in this book. The relief of actually being able to articulate the feelings, hearing someone else's story who has clearly experienced similar emotions and follow their route through it touched me in places I thought I'd lost years ago. Thank you for writing this book Rachel.
"Information rich. Emotion just right."
The reading was very good.
More importantly, the actual text was very useful to me. Managing to strike a balance between information and emotion is something to be proud of. I often knew what was coming next because I could relate to the erratic behaviour and emotions well. In many ways I am envious of such a therapeutic experience. At the same time I felt I could benefit from the in depth narrative from therapy sessions.
"Personal, emotional, informative."
Excellent first hand account of what it is to be diagnosed borderline and recover, given the right motives and effort to health and function. Courageous and moving.
And so honest, I am glad that I have come across it.
The narration was also exceptional and kept the interest alive.
I work in mental health and I feel that I need to learn stories like that. I might disagree with some aspects but it doesn't matter at all, I actually understood that its reality is what matters most.
Thanks for sharing your story with us.
"thank god, thank you so much"
I can't believe how much off myself I have been able to see. how my family, friends. medical teams much see me, I think it very brave to be able to tell your story and leave your self open because let's face it there is always one who has to offer their negative points of view, I have been deeply touched by what has happened to you. it is amazing how children are still being abused by people who they should be free to trust. I hope one day I will be able to have the courage to share my story . we all need to be more free with the truth and tell our pain because still although it's more excepted and talked about today then ever before but there is still to many children being hurt . so the more we share hopefully will help others find the courage to start sharing and no that they will be believed and let these cruel evil people we don't have to listen and believe it's our fault and suffer silently, thank you for sharing your life it has made a difference to the rest of my life xxx
"profoundly amazing & deeply moving"
This has been the most profoundly therapeutic thing I could ever have read in my entire life. Suffering from BPD myself, I have gained extensive understanding of myself, and whilst listening to this audiobook, i have been able to apply the reasonings and advice from the psychiatrist to my own life. Rachel you have changed my life by choosing to share your life story! Deeply moving.
this is a superb book for anyone who wants to know more about the internal struggle that is common in a person with BPD. It is beautifully honest and personal and a privilege to share Rachel's experience of therapy. The relationship that the therapist and therapy offers her in which to explore her damage, is truly special! You will never get a better chance to be a 'fly on the wall' and gain some insight into the struggle. Brilliant!
"really good book! I never got bored of the story."
YES! The audio version is really good. I listen the entire book in one seat without loosing concentration. In fact I put off many people I didn't show interest in talking to because of the audio book I was listening. It was super interesting. ;)
It should become a film.
The part where they say that some of us endure life rather than enjoy it. Very true!
This is the first time I heard Mazhan performance and I liked her very much. She reminded me the character of Julia Roberts in Erin Brockovich. The only part that annoyed me a little, was the voice of the Doctor. Some how reminded me the same dropped tone of voice with Sandra Bullock's in The Blind Side. I just wonder Why some people choose to speak like that? That particular tone of voice sound very forced and irritating. (sorry!) I guess it was a way to distinguish different characters in the story. In general she is terrific!
The little kids telling their mum that she is the best mum in the world. I cried!
I know this is a book that focuses on one woman's recovery from BPD. Trust me you will feel as if you too have undergone the rigorous therapy this woman undertook. I wish her well but in my humble opinion this is not a spectator sport.......
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