Horror Satire

Everyone who's anyone wants to be seen at one of Emory Jackman's legendary parties, from royalty to politicians, tech billionaires to Instagram models. But something sinister is happening on Little Pearl. Journalist Sven Olsen has heard rumors about the Jackmans trafficking young girls, and a secret auction joined by the rich and famous. He's been invited under the pretense of writing a profile about Emory and his mysterious wife, Tess, and will do just about anything to get the scoop.

Welcome to Eden, a town teeming with supernatural surprises, quirky characters, and more than a few laughs. The Librarian of the Haunted Library is a rollercoaster ride through a world where nothing is quite as it seems, and everything is laced with a twisted sense of humor. Follow the adventures of the librarian of Eden, the son of Karl—yes, that Karl, who rules Hell—as he navigates a town filled with witches, demons, hellhounds, and angels. In book 10 there are some new gods in town and they want something. The Librarian and Olive's on again and off again relationship may be more on ...

When a bizarre string of unusual corpses washes up on the beaches of San Diego during Halloween week, Detective Lindsey Brant requires more than her usual set of skills to solve the mystery. Joining forces with horror writer James Archer, the two will have to survive a scourge of undead, international killers, unscrupulous reporters, and rogue spies if they're to unravel the long-buried mystery of a deadly virus that could bring humanity to its knees. But their greatest threat to the case may just be surviving each other. See if the two will succeed in saving the world in this irreverent ...

*This Special Edition contains two previously unpublished stories* A little faith may help some people through the long dark night, and into the light. Sometimes, faith leads people into the darkest places imaginable (depending on how dark your imagination is). Any sinister action can be justified in the name of God. It doesn’t matter if your God is real, imaginary, or something in-between. Prepare to be offended by sixteen tales of belief gone amiss. These are failings in both God and Country. In all cases, blind faith has led to tragic results or at least the unpleasant ones. Many of ...

Trapped in the clutches of a Zombie apocalypse, the City of Chicago, the murder capital of the U.S., unleashes the ultimate weapon, capitalism, by paying $1,000 for every Re-Killed Zombie brought to city hall, ushering in "The Great Zombie Gold Rush". Zombies never have a chance in a world where people realize 75 Zombies pays off their student loans, 40 Zombies buys them a Tesla, 5 Zombies wipes out their Visa debt...

When Dominique Carter signs the lease on a too-cheap apartment, she expects noisy neighbors and bad paint—not a cursed roommate, a haunted building with Opinions™, and a foundation that literally hums with hunger. Camilla, the roommate in question, is already tangled in something dark. Her shadow peels off and starts asking for curfews, the house unionizes against Dominique’s rules, and the stairwell demands a chess match before it’ll let her upstairs. Meanwhile, a hell-door in the basement keeps knocking, demanding “blood, bond, or belonging.” But Dominique doesn’t scare easy...

In a perfect world where everyone destroys everything and eats human flesh, one zombie has had enough: Buck Burger. When he rebels at the natural disorder, his marriage starts deteriorating and a doctor prescribes him an anti-depressant. Buck meets a beautiful green-haired pharmacist fairy named Fairy_26 and quickly becomes a pawn in a cold war between zombies and supernatural creatures.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER "Freaky pleasure...it scratches a nostalgic itch for those who grew up on Saturday morning Scooby-Doo cartoons and sugar-bombed breakfast cereal" --USA Today "Deliriously wild, funny and imaginative. Cantero is an original voice." --Charles Yu, author of How to Live in...

Out of work for months, Lussi Meyer is desperate to work anywhere in publishing. Prestigious Blackwood-Patterson isn’t the perfect fit, but a bizarre set of circumstances leads to her hire and a firm mandate: Lussi must find the next horror superstar to compete with Stephen King, Anne Rice, and Peter Straub. It’s the ’80s, after all, and horror is the hottest genre. But as soon as she arrives, Lussi finds herself the target of her coworkers’ mean-spirited pranks.

An unforgettable debut, For Human Use is a twisted tale of modern love that bends every genre, sears itself into your brain, and presents a horrific romantic comedy unlike anything you’ve ever read before. ★ "An utterly ingenious horror-romcom, darkly zeitgeisty, and unnervingly...

When Bonnie Grayduck relocates from sunny Santa Cruz California to the small town of Lake Woebegotten, Minnesota, to live with her estranged father, chief of the local two-man police department, she thinks she's leaving her troubles behind. But she soon becomes fascinated by another student - the brooding, beautiful Edwin Scullen, whose reclusive family hides a terrible secret. (Psst: they're actually vampires. But they're the kind who don't eat people, so it's okay.)

“Deliciously vicious and unsettlingly hilarious, Cruelty Free is a nasty, thrilling Hollywood take-down for the ages.” —JENNIFER THORNE, author of Diavola A disgraced movie star returns to Hollywood 10 years after the kidnapping of her young daughter intent on seeking revenge, for fans of...

After a botched Halloween ritual, Madison Spencer, the snarkiest dead girl in the universe, finds herself trapped in Purgatory, otherwise known as Earth. The upside: She is no longer subject to physical limitations (she can pass through doors and walls). The downside: Well, she’s still dead.  

Gwendolyn Gladys Gavin, the sometimes hideous, sometimes gorgeous and always quirky Blue Mountain witch, has a young son she doesn't much like, and she lets him know it in no uncertain terms, such as informing him she might still abort him, even though he's already born. She has that sort of power. Of course, being a witch requires some very absurd and questionable behavior, such as cooking and eating the men you meet in a bar and temporarily killing off children so that their parents pay you to bring them back to life. These things Gwendolyn does with relish, and you might even laugh at ...

('The Wedding Gift' has also been published under the title of 'The Willets House,' by Kathleen McKenna Hewtson.) BEWARE, PRETTY BRIDES! Every town has a place that people cross the street to avoid walking by. Every town has a story kids tell at night in whispers. In Dalton, Oklahoma, all nightmares come from a grand white mansion named “The Willets House.” Welcome to Dalton. Once, long ago, a beautiful young bride killed her entire family there, or so the stories go. Now the town’s most beautiful girl is going to marry the heir to The Willets House. Some gifts should never be given.

Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.

"This is gory and brutal and beautiful and painful and terrifying and a pure delight." —Stephen Graham Jones, New York Times bestselling author “Leede’s words and narrator Sosie Bacon’s voice imbue Maeve with thought-provoking realism and earnestness, even as her violent acts become more...

Ronin Drake used to sell survival for a living. Antidepressants. Grief software. Body armor. Anything with a wound and a marketing budget. Then a luxury apocalypse retreat called The Ark Initiative hires him to craft language for its newest product: a private rapture experience for billionaires, founders, political families, and anyone rich enough to want judgment customized. The money is obscene. The premise is worse. Then Ronin discovers the campaign’s central line was stolen from his own suicide note. At The Ark, guests wear biometric wristbands, confess into premium pods, rehearse ...

The system wasn't broken. It was working exactly as designed. Milo Vane is an Absurdity Arbitrageur. He finds contradictions in the Global Compliance Architecture (GCA)—an all-powerful bureaucracy that tracks every citizen’s Fulfillment Score—and sells them back to the people trapped inside. Then a message arrives from three seconds in the future: The intern knows something. Keep her talking. The intern is June Bellow. Her score is 61.7—too low for coffee, but low enough to be invisible. She has been receiving messages from a dead CEO, Elias Thorne, who disappeared into his own ...

“Does anyone know how f****d up Deacon Cruz is?” “Why do you think they love me, Darlin’?” Previously released material. Reformatted for your pleasure. And my creative purposes. …Probably someone else’s too. Please follow me for a second. This was a reader request. Me. I am the reader. So I formatted this for research purposes a few months ago, never thinking I would share it, but then I questioned, what if Dear Readers would enjoy this too? Weirdly formatted as it is. This piece is presented as it’s supposed to be. Mostly from Deacon’s perspective. These are previously ...