Showing results by publisher "Audio Sommelier" in Comedy & Humor

Mark Twain delivered this humorous speech on taxation and morality at the Tuskegee Institute to commemorate its 25th anniversary. With his signature ironic wit, he told the audience woefully of the public vs. private morals of Christians. He says the Christian maintains the nation’s integrity 363 days a year, but the "other two days of the year he leaves his Christian private morals at home and carries his Christian public morals to the tax office and the polls, and does the best he can to damage and undo his whole year's faithful and righteous work."

Mark Twain gave this speech at an event honoring Andrew Carnegie, who helped found the Simplified Spelling Board. Twain mentions how uncomfortable it is to only receive compliments when one is the guest of honor, so he critiques Carnegie’s “pestiferous” ideas about spelling reform. In doing so, he provides his own suggestions for fixing “this present silly alphabet, which I fancy was invented by a drunken thief.” This speech is a fine example of the brazen humor that made Twain himself famous.

One of Edgar Allen Poe’s more lighthearted stories, this details the investigation of a mummy named Allamistakeo. After finding the body of the mummy in good condition, the mummy researchers use electricity to bring him back to life. Allamistakeo then proceeds to have a conversation with the crew - from what ancient Egypt was like to what religion was like. The conversation ends abruptly when the researchers ask him a question about the beginning of the universe, calling to play the reigning religion at the time.

The narrator introduces himself as being 228 years old and goes on to document his interactions with Dr. Samuel Johnson. Being older and in a time when respect for elders was everything, the narrator expects Dr. Johnson to appreciate his writing, which the man does not. While the tale goes on to document other awkward meetings with Dr. Johnson, he ultimately dies younger than the narrator - who goes on to continue writing and living an unfulfilled life.