Do you have thoughts about how the word “trauma” and other therapy-speak terms have bled into our day-to-day conversations in person, at work, and on social media?

Do you feel pressure to perform being “okay,” even when you’re anything but?

Have you ever pursued a project or career milestone only to realize, once you achieved it, that it no longer fits your life, values, or interests?

Today’s guest is a long-time, respected colleague who joins me for a profound and thought-provoking conversation about all of the above and then some. It’s a privilege to have people with whom we can engage in deep conversations without hesitation or self-editing; this chat is no exception.

Our guest, Sarah Buino, is a renowned speaker, educator, and therapist. She is the founder of Head/Heart Therapy, Inc. and Head/Heart Business Therapy, and a member of the adjunct faculty at Loyola University Chicago. Sarah is also a podcast host, known for her series, ‘Conversations With a Wounded Healer' and 'The Burnt Out Practice Owner.’ Her work focuses on the role of personal healing in caregiving and the challenges of group therapy practice ownership.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• How the concept of ordinary trauma helped Sarah recognize what was and wasn’t her responsibility as she healed
• The essential difference between discomfort and trauma and how it relates to our relationship with agency
• Why being “okay” is just a data point, not a destination
• How mindful awareness sets the stage for healing, regardless of modality
• Why Sarah maintains that therapy is political and that we have to lead through values and relationships
• How Sarah and her colleagues brought their values into their group practice
• How Sarah came to realize that she was done owning her practice and ready to move on

Learn more about Sarah Buino:

• Head/Heart Business Therapy
• Instagram: @HeadHeartBizTherapy
• Conversations with a Wounded Healer Podcast
• The Sarahs

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email

Resources:

• How trauma became the word of the decade — and the Covid-19 pandemic - Vox
• What is NARM?
• Farewell, Strategic Accommodation, An Elegy to White Supremacy by Sarah Suzuki
• Decolonizing Therapy for Black Folk 2024
• Politicizing Your Practice
• Living In The Tension: The Quest for a Spiritualized Racial Justice, Shelley Tochluk
• Olivia Rodrigo - vampire
• The Secret of Skinwalker Ranch
• Saved by the Bell

If you love, you experience loss.

Looking back over the last few years, who or what have you lost? A loved one, a friendship, a relationship, a pet, a job, your health, your community? Something else?

Have you had time to reflect on and grieve your losses and find meaning and sense in all you experienced?

And how do you talk about your losses with those around you, if at all?

We cannot engineer the experience of grief out of our lives, but many try, at a significant cost, to their well-being, their relationships, and their ability to function, connect, and lead.

Grief will always do its job regardless of our response to grief’s presence. And the more we try to avoid the heartbreak, mess, awkwardness, outrage, and vulnerability, the more we disconnect from our humanity and those around us.

So, the question for us is: How will we respond when grief comes knocking in our personal lives, work, and world?

Joon ‘J.S.’ Park is a hospital chaplain, former atheist/agnostic, sixth-degree black belt, suicide survivor, and Korean-American, a person of faith and valuer of all.

He is the author of As Long As You Need: Permission to Grieve, part hospital chaplain experience and memoir, and The Voices We Carry: Finding Your One True Voice in a World of Clamor and Noise.

J.S. currently serves at a top-ranked, 1,000+ bed hospital and was a chaplain for three years at one of the largest nonprofit charities for the unhoused on the East Coast.

Content note: This conversation covers topics around sexual abuse, suicide, and experiences of racism. Joon’s message and heart feel healing and gracious as he shares some tender issues. But please take care of yourself as you move through this beautiful conversation.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

• The physical toll of unacknowledged accumulated grief that J.S. took on through his chaplaincy training
• How contending with pervasive and severe suffering daily challenged and reshaped J.S.’s faith
• How he began to grapple with his experiences of abuse, racism and internalized shame
• Why we need to learn to engage with a range of grief and validate our responses to it to heal
• What we can learn about others when they use clichés and platitudes in response to grief
• How working closely with grief has changed J.S.’s concept of what it means to be successful

Learn more about J.S. Park:

• Instagram: @jspark3000
• Facebook: @jspark3000
• As Long As You Need: Permission to Grieve
• The Voices We Carry: Finding Your One True Voice in a World of Clamor and Noise

Learn more about Rebecca:

• rebeccaching.com
• Work With Rebecca
• Sign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader Email

Resources:

• Meditations of the Heart, Howard Thurman
• What We Kept to Ourselves, Nancy Jooyoun Kim
• The Last Story of Mina Lee, Nancy Jooyoun Kim
• Departures
• Andor
• Beyond the Infinite Two Minutes