Episodes

  • Do You Truly Accept and Understand Your Underlying Personality Traits?

    Do You Truly Accept and Understand Your Underlying Personality Traits?
    Jun 22 2018
    Many people wish they were different. They compare themselves with others and think that life would be better if only they had their traits, gifts, and confidence. They struggle to accept their nature, and in so doing fail to enjoy everything their uniqueness brings. “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” - Howard Thurman Think about it for a second. What the world needs is for you to conform to its own needs. It needs you to buy the stuff it says you need. It needs you to be predictable. What the world needs is for you to fit in and be like everyone else. In other words, it needs you to rely on the stuff it paints as important, and neglect the stuff that actually matters to you. Perhaps this is better described as what the world "wants". Because as Thurman says, what the world actually "needs" is people who have come alive. A world of people who have come alive is a world of love, creativity, and acceptance. It's a world where people live at peace with themselves, and in full acceptance of the aliveness of everyone else. Stop asking what the world wants from you. Forget trying to change in order to fit in better. Look at what brings you joy, and accept those parts of yourself. What brings you to a place of flow? Do those things and the wants, comparisons, envy, and unhealthy competitiveness will naturally drain away. In this episode of the podcast we look at these ideas in more depth. We examine the first of three disciplines that come from Stoic Philosophy, which is a great help to us as we think about how to thrive as introverts and sensitive types in the modern world. How can you accept who you are? We consider the Big 5 Personality Traits, and what they can teach us about how who we are is both fixed and flexible. By accepting what is fixed, we are able to develop our temperamental flexibility. I share why personality is like a bead on a rubber band. It's my hope that by the end of the episode you will see that you have more control over your personality than you might otherwise think.
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    34 mins
  • The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Still Has a Lot to Teach Us (a chat with Bo Miller)

    The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Still Has a Lot to Teach Us (a chat with Bo Miller)
    Apr 1 2018
    You may well be familiar with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. It's one of the most recognised and used personality tests in the world. It is based on the psychological theory of Carl Jung along with Katherine Cook Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers. In this week's podcast I chat with Bo Miller, who is an author, blogger, podcaster, introvert, and certified Myers-Briggs practitioner. He helps people identify and maximise their unique gifts through his website, iSpeakPeople. It's a site for INFJs (a Myers-Briggs personality type). However, Bo publishes great stuff for introverts of all colours. You can download his free ebook, The INFJ Personality Guide, which is a fantastically in depth look at life as an INFJ. Criticisms of The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator I loved talking to Bo about the MBTI, and its use in our lives. Over the years of working with introverts and sensitive types I have come across various critics of the test. It was lovely to talk with Bo though, who recognises that while it is not perfect, it carries a huge amount of value. It helps us better understand ourselves, others, and maximise our own impact on the world. Escaping Tribalism and Reductionistic Language Conversations about introversion can be deterministic; a pre-determined set of characteristics and values. Introverts have no control over what they are capable of...and what they are incapable of. We are good at building walls around ourselves, using labels to justify the behaviours and attitudes we want to get away with. But this is not helpful, necessary, or healthy. What I love about Bo Miller's approach to this topic is that he sees the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator as a tool we can use to free ourselves. It's not a tool to label and thus restrict our self-understanding, but one to help us better understand who we are and how we can create conditions in our lives for the best way of being. It's important for all of us to embrace this approach. To enjoy the validation of recognising ourselves in a certain personality profile, whether that's as an INFJ. But then to use it as a way to understand ourselves within the context of the richly spiced variety of humanity, of which we are but one small speck. In the interview you will learn: Why the MBTI is still relevant today What it helps us understand about ourselves and other people Why Bo wanted to be a licensed practitioner Bo's favourite kind of resources to create (as a podcaster, writer, YouTube creator etc) What advice Bo would impart to his younger self if he could How Bo balances family, work and business life, without burning out Over to You What did you enjoy about this interview? Has it changed anything in your understanding of yourself as an introvert? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. Support the Podcast and get bonus extras:
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    48 mins
  • 63 | Unveiling Coming To Our Senses (A Zine for HSPs)

    63 | Unveiling Coming To Our Senses (A Zine for HSPs)
    Jun 22 2024
    In this special episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I'm thrilled to unveil the first issue of Coming To Our Senses. This online audio/visual zine for Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) is an immersive exploration of the intersection of high sensitivity, creativity, and culture. The zine's launch coincides with the 10th Anniversary of The Haven, which started in June 2014. While it looked pretty different back then, its underlying essence has always been the same - providing a space for gentle rebels to gather and grow together. I hope that Coming To Our Senses will become an ongoing collaborative heartbeat of our community. It reflects the spirit of The Haven, with members providing inspiration, suggestions, and creative contributions to the content. https://youtu.be/OBS6AMGdBfU Why a Zine For HSPs? The underlying vision is to integrate and normalise high sensitivity in everyday life. I want to create space to slow down and show how highly sensitive lenses offer a valuable and transformative way of seeing and holding ourselves, one another, and the culture we swim in. But also to invite a playful spirit that helps us hold on to life with lightness and humour. I firmly believe that by creating an environment that allows sensitivity to flourish and express itself, we can catalyse profound personal and societal transformation. This approach to change is not a grand, booming endeavour, but a subtle, infectious one. As we embrace our own sensitivity, we naturally grant others permission to come to their own senses, leading to new ways of seeing, feeling, and engaging with the world that reflect their unique sensitivity and potential. I'm currently unsure how often I will publish the Coming To Our Senses zine. My initial desire is monthly, but every two or three months might be more sustainable. All editions (and versions) are available to download in The Haven membership. Non-members can read and listen to the latest issue here. The First Issue of Coming To Our Senses You can hear the first issue (Tranquility) in this Gentle Rebel Podcast episode. Read the written edition here, and watch the video/audio version on YouTube. I hope you enjoy it! I'd love to know what you connect with and would potentially like more of in this zine of HSPs. Leave a comment or drop me a message. And if you like it, please do share it with others!
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    35 mins
  • 62 | Digging Your Unconventional Multipotentialite Pathway (with Yvonne Kjorlien)

    62 | Digging Your Unconventional Multipotentialite Pathway (with Yvonne Kjorlien)
    Jun 20 2024
    As a highly sensitive multipotentialite, Yvonne Kjorlien has many creative interests, passions, and pursuits. She studies scattered and scavenged remains to help increase the recovery rate of human remains in outdoor contexts, enabling law enforcement personnel to close forensic cases and provide closure for families. She is also an author, blogger (The Reluctant Archeologist) and writing coach for those bringing new work into the world. I was inspired by the multifaceted nature of Yvonne's personal and professional interests and invited her to join me to explore them in this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast. This one is for you if you naturally gravitate towards various pursuits and what others might describe as diversions. It can be liberating to hear from people who have connected unexpected dots and forged new pathways based on what brings them to life rather than what socialised stories tell them to do. I hope this conversation will bring you peace, encouragement, and inspiration. https://youtu.be/OwMmPcg-8Zo Yvonne and I dug into a whole range of topics, including: How to be a multipotentialite (holding a range of interests and pursuits) in a world that wants to put you in a box Why labels can be a help and hindrance when making our way in the world How subverting labels taps into a primal sense of risk (and can make others uncomfortable) What it means to dig and excavate our stories in a healthy and exciting way How we might recognise the messages our body is sending in response to opportunities, requests, and stimuli The power of asking why (and doing it in a way that opens us up rather than closing us down) Over to You What are you taking away from this episode? Are you a multipotentialite? Let me know by leaving a comment, sending a message, or contacting me via social media. Links Yvonne's Website The Reluctant Archaeologist Blog Memoirs of a Reluctant Archaeologist (book) Follow Yvonne on Instagram
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    1 hr
  • 61 | How NOT To Join a Life Coaching Cult (with Margarit Davtian)

    61 | How NOT To Join a Life Coaching Cult (with Margarit Davtian)
    Jun 8 2024
    In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I speak with Margarit Davtian who is a consumer rights activist, social scientist, and "cult slayer". She exposes deceptive marketing practices, cult psychology, and New-Age conspirituality trends in the coaching industry. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjxP30X9Asg& Margarit, one of the founders of Ethics For Coaching, helps individuals seeking support in life coaching, business consulting, and self-help industries—the project shields against grifters and scammers who exploit vulnerable positions with undeliverable promises and unethical practices. Ethics for Coaching's mission is to educate, support, mediate, and raise awareness, giving consumers the power to make more informed choices. They aim to be a reassuring presence in an industry that can sometimes be hyped up, confusing, and misleading. As you will know if you've been listening for a while, this is an area I am increasingly passionate about. I have seen bad actors take advantage of the trust and hope of good people, who have been convinced to spend ridiculous amounts of money on "high ticket offers" that promise the world and deliver disappointment. Calling Out Multilevel Marketing Scams and Coaching Cults I believe that coaching is a fantastic tool that can help us unpick challenges and find clearer ways forward in a desirable direction. So it's frustrating to see so many horror stories of its manipulative misuse by bad actors. I hope this conversation contributes in some small way to highlighting signs of a multilevel marketing scams and coaching cults so we can all distinguish between good and bad practices and make more informed decisions about what we are looking for and what a particular person is offering. Margarit and I delve into the Four Pillars of Ethical Coaching. These are beneficial not only for coaches but also for clients, who should understand what to expect from the coaches they work with. The Elements of Ethical Coaching Include: Clear expectations and outcomes Be collaborative, non-judgemental, and willing to accept feedback as a coach Deliver on your promises (and promise no more than you can deliver) Communicate with clarity and honesty Don't use scarcity and urgency marketing tactics Don't use mindset manipulation tactics to overcome objections No high-pressure selling Understand potential sources of emotional/psychological harm Don't use coercive control (e.g. programming fears/phobias or using thought-terminating cliches) Commit to establishing competence and maintaining professional boundaries Establish contracting between coach and client Be open about areas of knowledge and expertise (and what is beyond your scope) State and clarify objectives and outcomes Testimonials should only be used with explicit permission No coercive conditions for joining a program (e.g. you MUST share a positive testimonial) Make relevant qualifications, certifications, and credentials known Include refunds, plagiarism, risk management plan (how a client knows what to do when they have a concern) Want to Know More About Ethics For Coaching? They are looking for coaches who are passionate about this stuff to continue the work they've started. Find Margarit on Instagram and YouTube Conscious Revolution Podcast | Substack
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    Less than 1 minute
  • 60 | I Can’t Wait

    60 | I Can’t Wait
    Jun 6 2024
    In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I talk about some things that came out of our conversation in The Haven around the prompt, "I can't wait". What do you struggle to wait for? https://youtu.be/sAeb-3AlzhI There are many angles from which we can look at these words. What comes to mind for you? Maybe you can't wait for something to arrive. Perhaps you can't wait for it to be over. Or maybe you get tetchy or anxious when you're forced to wait. I Can't Wait... For the next episode. For kick-off. To feel better. Around. To get on the road. To get this over with. To get there. …it makes me testy. To see you. For this to start. For this to end. To leave. For the lunch break. To go. …it makes me anxious. To get home. …I need to keep myself busy. What else comes to mind for you? In The Episode, I Explore: Patience and Impatience (rushing into decisions that naturally take time) Excitement and possibility (allowing ourselves to look forward) Pausing to check vs checking ourselves (highly sensitive people might respond more slowly AND quickly to stimuli) How the impermanence of things can help us be more peaceful in the present, and less likely to wish away time The power of anticipation, expectancy, and bad endings Join the conversation in The Haven: https://the-haven.co https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzDsxewUa5s&
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    45 mins
  • 59 | What’s New In High Sensitivity Research?

    59 | What’s New In High Sensitivity Research?
    May 31 2024
    Over the past few years, there have been a bunch of developments in sensitivity research. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I share some reflections on the Second International Conference on Sensitivity Research. It was organised by Michael Pluess, Francesca Lionetti, and Corina Greven through The University of Surrey. In all honesty, academic presentations aren't really my cup of tea. My mind drifts too easily. But I munched on bananas and persevered because I really think this stuff matters...I was helped by the recorded replay too. So I hope this episode helps others who are interested in the essence of sensory processing sensitivity research right now. https://youtu.be/FkGsvdA3htw “If you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else." - Douglas Adams I want to understand these developments, so I'm taking on a challenge; to piece together what I've learned from the research and explain it as best as possible. A lot of information was packed into three hours, and I have tried to grasp as much of it as possible. But I very much welcome those with more expertise to help clarify, contradict, or correct any misunderstandings. The full text version of my conference summary is available here. The Sensitivity Research Presentations: Highly Sensitive Children in the School Context (Jenni Kähkönen) High Sensory Processing Sensitivity: Blessing or Challenge? (Veronique de Gucht) - here's the SPS Monitor Questionnaire Genetics of Environmental Sensitivity and its Association with Mental Health and Wellbeing (Elham Assary) Sensitivity and Overstimulation (Sofie Weyn) Attentional Capture and Sensitivity (Robert Marhenke) Effects of Sensitivity and Childhood Family Conflict on Objective Stress Responding (Sophia Bibb) Measurements of Sensitivity (Panel Discussion) Over to You Did anything surprise you in the research? Are there any areas or topics that you would love to see researchers explore in the future? If you'd like to clarify or correct anything, please do share a comment below. And if you fancy chatting with me about anything mentioned in the episode, I'd love to hear from you. Drop me a message. The music you will hear in the episode is a piece I wrote as I was piecing the show together. Writing music gives me breathing space when I need to reflect on, understand, and retain information without looking directly at it. Here is the whole track (the video is of a train that went past when I was waiting for mine about an hour before the conference "started". https://youtu.be/lzDsxewUa5s
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    Less than 1 minute
  • 58 | Is Artificial Intelligence a Friend or Foe? (with Marc Winn)

    58 | Is Artificial Intelligence a Friend or Foe? (with Marc Winn)
    May 23 2024
    Can Artificial Intelligence help us embrace, explore, and celebrate our human creativity and sensory sensitivity even MORE deeply? In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I speak with Marc Winn about the impact of generative AI on our creative spirit. We step beyond the unhelpful binary debates that tend to view the complex tangle of technology adoption as all good or all bad. We begin with the most important starting question: What do we want to use it for? And how can it help us become more human, more playful, more attuned to our senses, and less mechanical and robotic? https://youtu.be/TjGD4kWjGbw How Can Artificial Intelligence Help Us Become More Human? Marc has dedicated the past 14 years to helping people find their way in a rapidly changing world. He focuses on AI and how embracing it isn't just about technology—it's about people. Through AI Adoption groups, Strategy Days, and long-term Partnerships, he focuses on the human side of digital transformation. Marc is also the author of The 50 Coffee Adventure: A Fun, Light and Easy Way to Build Connections—One Magical Conversation at a Time. In the episode, Marc and I Discuss: The role generative AI can play in giving people who have always struggled simple ways to express themselves Why art is deeply misunderstood (and often overlooked) in its role in changing the world How art has a role to play in helping us meet the significant challenges of our time The link between burning out and building things in other peoples' image rather than your own (and what it means to live from that authentic place within us) Why Marc believes you have more of a chance of changing someone's life by making mistakes rather than delivering perfection Fears and hopes about the post-consumption age of creativity and how mass participation will become a new normal How AI supports and can enhance creativity (rather than replace it) I enjoyed this conversation a lot. It gave me a fresh perspective on things I hadn't considered before. Over to You What were your takeaways? How do you feel about this stuff? Share your response in the comments or drop me a message. Marc's Links Book a Coffee with Marc Moving Fast Together - The Human Side of AI Adoption (Marc's Presentation) 45 Minutes of Marc's Life That Got Out of Hand Marc's Website | Marc's Blog
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    Less than 1 minute