• 10 Ep#503 Pharisaism, Narcissism, and Worthlessness
    Jun 17 2024
    Before we can truly become "little," we must confront the Pharisee in ourselves. Pharisaism is religious narcissism. The Bible calls it "insolent pride." The label "narcissist" is widely deployed to refer to people who appear to be too full of themselves, but the truth is, we all have selfish, narcissistic tendencies to some degree that we must wrestle with. I believe this "spirit of judgment" is the main wound of the Fall. Jesus' most dire warnings and strongest words were for the blind Pharisees. . Clinically, narcissism is a spectrum, and there are three "types" that give us useful information on how to deal with it in ourselves and others. Ultimately, Paul says we must "come out!" and unto our Heavenly Father in order to heal this father wound. . If you've never explored the "father wound," here 's a whole series o healing the father wound. Thank you with all my heart to my newest Friends of the Show, Patricia E; Emily P; Katie R; Nellie K; Carolynn LB; Tina S; Christine C; Stephanie F*; Amber R; Brittany Y; Rebecca M; Bridget McG; Christina C; Phillip B; Laura E; Amelia S; Kevin G; Jean C; Beth L; David C; Deb N; Elizabeth F; Kathleen W; Colleen G; Toni D; Maureen A; Victoria T; Charles F; Amanda P; Heather D; Meghan S; Kathy B; Victoria H; Kellye B; Karen B; Julie B*; Carol E-D; and Shona M, for loving and lifting me! *Extra thank you for your generosity! :) Friends of the Show get all Premium Content! Our Monthly Meetup Bible study in John is epic! You coming? New Series LOVE the Word® is a Bible study method based on Mary’s own practice: lectio without the Latin. Get the book based on Sonja’s method in the right margin, How to Pray Like Mary. L | Listen (Receive the Word via audio or video.)  O | Observe (Connect the passage to your life and recent events.) Are you narcissistic? How narcissistic are you? How do you feel about yourself, knowing you have narcissistic tendencies? Have you identified the projections inherent in your narcissism? What do you want to say to the Holy Spirit about that? V | Verbalize (Pray about your thoughts and emotions.) Remembering that He loves you and that you are in His presence, talk to God about the particulars of your O – Observe step. You may want to write your reflections in your LOVE the Word® journal. Or, get a free journal page and guide in the right-hand margin. E | Entrust (Rest in the Word.) Dearest Jesus, my love, in the words of little Therese, "For me to become great is impossible." Help me bear with myself and my many imperfections as I seek to follow her means of getting to heaven by a little way--very short and very straight, The Little Way of the Child. Amen + Love Heals. Learn More. Connect Join me (click here) in the Sacred Healing community for our Masterclass and Consultation Group coaching calls, healing prayer livestreams, monthly Bible studies, LOVE the Word® takeaways, a healing masterclass and other courses, a dynamic phone app, and a flourishing community to help you find help, support, and experience deeper healing. What We Discussed | Show Notes Overview: Minutes 00:00-12:00 – Narcissistic Personality Inventory; Jordan Peterson's Understand Myself personality quiz; Narcissus Minutes 12:01-24:00 – Traits of narcissism; it's a spectrum; the grandiosity and shame yo-yo Minutes 24:01-36:00 – Three types of narcissism: 1) abuse and neglect; 2) inter-generational; 3) entitlement Minutes 36:01-48:00 – Appeal to the relationship; narcissism as a worthlessness identity wound, a father wound; worthless and Belial; "Come out!" Transcript Friends of the Show: Protected Content. Click Here to sign in
    Show more Show less
    Less than 1 minute
  • 09 Ep#502 Back to Thérèse & the Series Takeaway
    Feb 12 2024
    The point in "healing the inner child" is illustrated and affirmed by an ancient psychological/mythological idea that the way to full maturity is to find what you lost as a child and regain it. The recovery of the child revivifies the adult by teaching the adult how to play, trust, and wonder without judgment again, but with the added maturity and knowledge of being an adult who knows how to organize and protect oneself in the world. The inner child finally gets to express him/herself from a place of safety rather than fear and danger. In this wrap-up episode, I offer a case study that might help put all the pieces together, and a reminder from St. Thérèse to stay "little," give Jesus your littleness and little sacrifices, and leave the rest to Him. Thank you with all my heart to my newest Friends of the Show, Barney C; Corinne C; Laurie D; and Lee Ann K, for loving and lifting me! Friends of the Show get all Premium Content! Our Monthly Meetup Bible study in John is epic! You coming? LOVE the Word® is a Bible study method based on Mary’s own practice: lectio without the Latin. Get the book based on Sonja’s method in the right margin, How to Pray Like Mary. L | Listen (Receive the Word via audio or video.)  O | Observe (Connect the passage to your life and recent events.) Has this series taught you anything more than you knew about St. Thérèse and being "little"? Are you more comfortable with younger parts of yourself than before? Are there parts that you still have trouble "welcoming"? What do you want to say to the Holy Spirit about that? V | Verbalize (Pray about your thoughts and emotions.) Remembering that He loves you and that you are in His presence, talk to God about the particulars of your O – Observe step. You may want to write your reflections in your LOVE the Word® journal. Or, get a free journal page and guide in the right-hand margin. E | Entrust (Rest in the Word.) Dearest Jesus, my love, in the words of little Therese, "For me to become great is impossible." Help me bear with myself and my many imperfections as I seek to follow her means of getting to heaven by a little way--very short and very straight, The Little Way of the Child. Amen + Love Heals. Learn More. Connect Join me (click here) in the Sacred Healing community for our Masterclass and Consultation Group coaching calls, healing prayer livestreams, monthly Bible studies, LOVE the Word® takeaways, a healing masterclass and other courses, a dynamic phone app, and a flourishing community to help you find help, support, and experience deeper healing. What We Discussed | Show Notes Thérèse of Lisieux sacrifice beads at Vianney beads on Etsy. Overview: Minutes 00:00-12:00 – Back to Thérèse and her last year; Sister Marie and the linen room Minutes 12:01-24:00 – Case study on the late-life illumination of a personality projection Minutes 24:01-36:00 – Self-sufficiency and Pharisaism block healing Minutes 36:01-48:00 – Seeing and accepting personality projections (underneath behavior issues) without allowing them to rule; how judgments in our vocations are meant to help us "see" and experience ourselves, God, and others in deeper communion Transcript Friends of the Show: Protected Content. Click Here to sign in
    Show more Show less
    48 mins
  • 08 Ep#501 How Pharisaism Blocks Healing Communion
    Feb 5 2024
    Listen, Pharisee, the reason you're lonely, the reason you don't feel "chosen," the reason God hasn't thrown you a party (Parable of the Prodigal), is because you're full of judgments that block communion within yourself and between you and the Father, so that you can't feel comfortable enough with Him to even ask for a party. And if he threw you one now, in the state of Pharisaism you're in, you'd just condemn yourself for wastefulness and not deserving it. As soon as we turn back to our inner child, as soon as we extend some sympathy, boundaries, and forgiveness - for ourselves and others - the Pharisee steps in to judge: "How dare you let yourself or them get away with that!" Pharisaism is the wound of the world, because while the "sinful" have obvious evidence of their need for healing love, the Pharisee has his shit together, and therefore cannot see the dark, dead judgments inside himself that prevent healing communion. Thank you with all my heart to my newest Friends of the Show, Clement O; Connie V; Jackie B; Gaylene M; Holly R; Carolyn C; and Mary G, for loving and lifting me! Friends of the Show get all Premium Content! Our Monthly Meetup Bible study in John is epic! You coming? LOVE the Word® is a Bible study method based on Mary’s own practice: lectio without the Latin. Get the book based on Sonja’s method in the right margin, How to Pray Like Mary. L | Listen (Receive the Word via audio or video.)  O | Observe (Connect the passage to your life and recent events.) Did the Holy Spirit bring to mind a judgment that you've been projecting onto others or Him in this episode? Can you discern the contradiction underneath with Him? V | Verbalize (Pray about your thoughts and emotions.) Remembering that He loves you and that you are in His presence, talk to God about the particulars of your O – Observe step. You may want to write your reflections in your LOVE the Word® journal. Or, get a free journal page and guide in the right-hand margin. E | Entrust (Rest in the Word.) Dearest Jesus, my love, in the words of little Therese, "For me to become great is impossible." Help me bear with myself and my many imperfections as I seek to follow her means of getting to heaven by a little way--very short and very straight, The Little Way of the Child. Amen + Love Heals. Learn More. Connect Join me (click here) in the Sacred Healing community for our Masterclass and Consultation Group coaching calls, healing prayer livestreams, monthly Bible studies, LOVE the Word® takeaways, a healing masterclass and other courses, a dynamic phone app, and a flourishing community to help you find help, support, and experience deeper healing. What We Discussed | Show Notes Overview: Minutes 00:00-12:00 – How the inner Pharisee steps into the Little Way process Minutes 12:01-24:00 – Unforgiveness and Pharisees, Sadducees, scribes; Catholics and Protestants; Pharisaism as anger at self and God Minutes 24:01-36:00 – Psychology 101 on judgments as projections; fear of God as projection of anger Minutes 36:01-48:00 – Seeing and accepting personality flaws (underneath behavior issues) without allowing them to rule; how judgments in our vocations are meant to help us "see" and experience ourselves, God, and others in communion Transcript Friends of the Show: Protected Content. Click Here to sign in
    Show more Show less
    48 mins
  • 07 Ep#500 Acknowledging the Darkness
    Jan 22 2024
    All of our spiritual and emotional issues stem from an unconscious unwillingness to acknowledge the darkness in ourselves. In order to resist conscious "seeing" and acknowledging and doing something about the ugly truths in ourselves, we project them onto others, we distract ourselves, and in doing so, we disown parts of ourselves and those parts begin their tyranny. When enough of us do this, our world becomes as disordered as we are inside. It's through conflicts and suffering that enough emotion can break through, consciously, to alert us of what we are not seeing. Eden shows us that if we see and acknowledge it - whatever the darkness is - we can take it to the Holy Spirit to help us heal and order it properly. If Adam and Eve had done this, rather than allowing themselves to be distracted by what was easier and more attractive in the moment, they would have had the knowledge of good and evil without the suffering, because the evil was with them in the Garden the whole time; they just didn't notice or acknowledge it as such. Matthew 18, the Beatitudes, and Old Testament Jacob as a case study, help us with proper healing and ordering: working through pop quizzes, "turning back" to acknowledge and rescue the inner child, setting good boundaries for ourselves and others, and forgiveness for all. Thank you with all my heart to my newest Friends of the Show, for loving and lifting me! Friends of the Show get all Premium Content! Our Monthly Meetup Bible study in John is tonight! You coming? LOVE the Word® is a Bible study method based on Mary’s own practice: lectio without the Latin. Get the book based on Sonja’s method in the right margin, How to Pray Like Mary. L | Listen (Receive the Word via audio or video.)  O | Observe (Connect the passage to your life and recent events.) Does looking at the Eden story from a psychological point of view help you understand why working through pop quizzes, "turning back" to the inner child, setting good boundaries, and forgiveness are so important to your growth and health? What do you want to say to the Holy Spirit about that? V | Verbalize (Pray about your thoughts and emotions.) Remembering that He loves you and that you are in His presence, talk to God about the particulars of your O – Observe step. You may want to write your reflections in your LOVE the Word® journal. Or, get a free journal page and guide in the right-hand margin. E | Entrust (Rest in the Word.) Dearest Jesus, my love, in the words of little Therese, "For me to become great is impossible." Help me bear with myself and my many imperfections as I seek to follow her means of getting to heaven by a little way--very short and very straight, The Little Way of the Child. Amen + Love Heals. Learn More. Connect Join me (click here) in the Sacred Healing community for our Masterclass and Consultation Group coaching calls, healing prayer livestreams, monthly Bible studies, LOVE the Word® takeaways, a healing masterclass and other courses, a dynamic phone app, and a flourishing community to help you find help, support, and experience deeper healing. What We Discussed | Show Notes Overview: Minutes 00:00-12:00 – Review of Matthew 18 concepts, addition of the Beatitudes for understanding of the processes Minutes 12:01-24:00 – Adam and Eve; the "shadow" or darkness inside; Jacob and deceit; Jacob's pop quizzes Minutes 24:01-36:00 – How the processes work for individuals vs. Christian brothers and sisters Minutes 36:01-48:00 – Forgiveness Transcript Friends of the Show: Protected Content. Click Here to sign in
    Show more Show less
    48 mins
  • 06 Ep#499 Rescuing the Lost Sheep: Fraternal Correction
    Jan 15 2024
    Somehow I suspect you've either recently been in a conflict where you were corrected or have seen a need or opportunity to offer correction to another. If not, perhaps it's just around the corner. How about some guidelines from Jesus about that? Because we are God's children, and He warns us sternly against "despising the little ones." After radical detachment, we have to "turn back" to rescue the lost sheep of our inner child, and the lost sheep in our original and church families when they are also our brothers and sisters in Christ. Thank you with all my heart to my newest Friends of the Show, Melanie D; Bruce R; Veronica W; Melinda M; Loren G; Tessa W; Lindsay B; Ann C; Carol S; Christina C; Vicki G; Anita C; Christin L; Emily P; Anne B; and Kevin G, for for loving and lifting me! Friends of the Show get all Premium Content! Our Monthly Meetup Bible study in John is super deep! You coming? LOVE the Word® is a Bible study method based on Mary’s own practice: lectio without the Latin. Get the book based on Sonja’s method in the right margin, How to Pray Like Mary. L | Listen (Receive the Word via audio or video.)  O | Observe (Connect the passage to your life and recent events.) Does a confrontation with someone loom in your life? Does having some guidance from Scripture help you navigate the issue? What do you want to say to the Holy Spirit about that? V | Verbalize (Pray about your thoughts and emotions.) Remembering that He loves you and that you are in His presence, talk to God about the particulars of your O – Observe step. You may want to write your reflections in your LOVE the Word® journal. Or, get a free journal page and guide in the right-hand margin. E | Entrust (Rest in the Word.) Dearest Jesus, my love, in the words of little Therese, "For me to become great is impossible." Help me bear with myself and my many imperfections as I seek to follow her means of getting to heaven by a little way--very short and very straight, The Little Way of the Child. Amen + Love Heals. Learn More. Connect Join me (click here) in the Sacred Healing community for our Masterclass and Consultation Group coaching calls, healing prayer livestreams, monthly Bible studies, LOVE the Word® takeaways, a healing masterclass and other courses, a dynamic phone app, and a flourishing community to help you find help, support, and experience deeper healing. What We Discussed | Show Notes Overview: Minutes 00:00-12:00 – "turn back": 1) radical detachment, 2) pursue to the lost sheep, 3) correcting offenders Minutes 12:01-24:00 – despise = "to think against"; Jesus' promise of His presence in the process of correction Minutes 24:01-36:00 – personal examples of "fraternal correction" Minutes 36:01-48:00 – Church Fathers on fraternal correction Transcript Friends of the Show: Protected Content. Click Here to sign in
    Show more Show less
    Less than 1 minute
  • 05 Ep#498 The Child as a Flesh & Blood Parable
    Jan 8 2024
    Using Matthew 18 as a touch point for discussion of the inner child is what we call using a "spiritual sense" of Scripture. It's fascinating to me that Jesus emphasized His teaching in 18 and part of 19 by placing children before Him (remember that chapter and verse numbers were not in the original writings, but added for our convenience). Like flesh and blood parables, children bookend His teaching on boundaries, and we learn that not only are healthy boundaries necessary to faith in dealing with one another in the family of God, but they're also necessary in human and faith development, too. Thank you with all my heart to my newest Friends of the Show, Melanie D; Bruce R; Veronica W; Melinda M; Loren G; Tessa W; Lindsay B; Ann C; Carol S; Christina C; Vicki G; Anita C; Christin L; Emily P; Anne B; and Kevin G, for for loving and lifting me! Friends of the Show get all Premium Content! Our next Monthly Meetup Bible study in John is January 22 at 6:30 PM CST! You coming? LOVE the Word® is a Bible study method based on Mary’s own practice: lectio without the Latin. Get the book based on Sonja’s method in the right margin, How to Pray Like Mary. L | Listen (Receive the Word via audio or video.)  O | Observe (Connect the passage to your life and recent events.) Does learning something about the Stages of Faith development help to ease their inherent tension? What do you want to say to the Holy Spirit about that? V | Verbalize (Pray about your thoughts and emotions.) Remembering that He loves you and that you are in His presence, talk to God about the particulars of your O – Observe step. You may want to write your reflections in your LOVE the Word® journal. Or, get a free journal page and guide in the right-hand margin. E | Entrust (Rest in the Word.) Dearest Jesus, my love, in the words of little Therese, "For me to become great is impossible." Help me bear with myself and my many imperfections as I seek to follow her means of getting to heaven by a little way--very short and very straight, The Little Way of the Child. Amen + Love Heals. Learn More. Connect Join me (click here) in the Sacred Healing community for our Masterclass and Consultation Group coaching calls, healing prayer livestreams, monthly Bible studies, LOVE the Word® takeaways, a healing masterclass and other courses, a dynamic phone app, and a flourishing community to help you find help, support, and experience deeper healing. What We Discussed | Show Notes Overview: Minutes 00:00-12:00 – holiday review, psychological/mythological idea that the way to full maturity is to recover childhood, shadow parts Minutes 12:01-24:00 – procedural memory in the brain, "the saints were crazy," two senses of scripture and subdivisions Minutes 24:01-36:00 – hierarchy vs. relationships, characteristics of children Minutes 36:01-48:00 – stages of faith, "fasting" from destructive relationships, detachment Transcript Friends of the Show: Protected Content. Click Here to sign in
    Show more Show less
    48 mins
  • 04 Ep#497 Separation Anxiety
    Nov 27 2023
    Separation anxiety is when someone fears being apart from or losing a person or other attachment figure, a place, or even an animal. Adults can experience separation anxiety, although it is more common in children. Learning necessary, healthy detachment from parents, relatives, friends, and trauma bonds provokes "separation anxiety," does it not? Severe SA can manifest in physical symptoms, such as nausea and headaches. But separation anxiety is a normal part of both childhood development and adult relationship development. Although it can be unsettling, Jesus teaches separation is necessary for Christians - at least temporarily - in order to bring about the repentance and reconciliation of an offender. If the offender continues without repentance (changing direction), we must detach from ungodly "Christian" relationships, or else we fall into sin ourselves as enablers. Jesus shows us how. Thank you with all my heart to my newest Friends of the Show, Jaylen M; Rose G; and Monica M, for loving and lifting me! Friends of the Show get all Premium Content! Our Monthly Meetup Bible study in John is epic! You coming? LOVE the Word® is a Bible study method based on Mary’s own practice: lectio without the Latin. Get the book based on Sonja’s method in the right margin, How to Pray Like Mary. L | Listen (Receive the Word via audio or video.)  O | Observe (Connect the passage to your life and recent events.) Tolerance is not patience, it is enabling sin, according to Jesus and interpreted by the Church Fathers. Has the Holy Spirit alerted you through this episode of a relationship with a fellow (professed) Christian in which you need to speak up and erect some boundaries? What do you want to say to Him about that? V | Verbalize (Pray about your thoughts and emotions.) Remembering that He loves you and that you are in His presence, talk to God about the particulars of your O – Observe step. You may want to write your reflections in your LOVE the Word® journal. Or, get a free journal page and guide in the right-hand margin. E | Entrust (Rest in the Word.) Dearest Jesus, my love, in the words of little Therese, "For me to become great is impossible." Help me bear with myself and my many imperfections as I seek to follow her means of getting to heaven by a little way--very short and very straight, the little way. Amen + Love Heals. Learn More. Connect Join me (click here) in the Sacred Healing community for our Masterclass and Consultation Group coaching calls, healing prayer livestreams, monthly Bible studies, LOVE the Word® takeaways, a healing masterclass and other courses, a dynamic phone app, and a flourishing community to help you find help, support, and experience deeper healing. What We Discussed | Show Notes Overview: Minutes 00:00-12:00 – the purification of our hearts has to do with paternal and maternal images (CCC 2779); Thérèse of Lisieux's trauma; mother wounds and female physical issues Minutes 12:01-24:00 – self- and interior-abuse; aggressive vs passive temperament; synopsis of Matthew 18; childlikeness, according to Jesus, means boundaries; the difference between boundaries for Christians and non-Christians; Law as gift; guilt and shame; shame vs contrition; no condemnation for those in Christ (Rom 8:1 and Jn 3) Minutes 24:01-36:00 – the forehead as the seat of shame; Ex 28 HOLINESS TO THE LORD; 3 stages of boundaries; Holy Spirit is our wisdom and discernment as we "wrestle" with boundaries; overview of Matt 18; the Fathers on offenses against children and ourselves Minutes 36:01-48:00 – "cutting them off" or no-contact; eyes, hands, and feet; Jesus seeks out the one who has been separated or "lost" Transcript Click here for a transcript of the show.
    Show more Show less
    48 mins
  • 03 Ep #496 The Distressed Inner Child and a Holiday Navigation Guide
    Nov 20 2023
    Don't all of your issues seem to be exacerbated by the holiday season? We're spending increased amounts of time with people and/or family who may have wounded us or still do. We may feel pressured and obligated by Great Expectations for how things "should" be. Perhaps we labor under the financial burden such expectations add; the sometimes extreme changes in environment, sleep, and schedules at work and with travel that can cause burnout; the many occasions for over-stimulation for us or our kids; the sheer amounts and types of food; stifling grief while feeling forced to put on the happy face; sibling rivalries; inferiority complexes; self-medication and addiction triggers; seasonal depression and lack of sunlight; questions and insinuations from others about "where you are" in life. If all of that feels overwhelming to you, perhaps you can see why the holiday season causes your inner child to feel distressed and begin "acting out" in order to get your attention? And why all the guilt for simply wanting to hibernate until the whole season is over, or needing to limit exposure to the entire bit? What if the guilt is driven by a trauma bond? Here are six Ps for navigating the holidays and making them more peaceful and happy: Predict, Prepare, Plan, Priorities, Peace, Pivot. Here's the Anxiety Checklist referred to in the episode. Abusive behavior does not always involve tangible violence. Distinctions must be made between physical violence/abuse—traditionally, the most researched and detectable form—and emotional, or psychological, abuse. Emotional abuse is any nonphysical behavior or attitude that is designed to control, subdue, punish, or isolate another person through the use of humiliation or fear (Engel, 2002). . . . Emotional abuse can include verbal assault, dominance, control, isolation, ridicule, or the use of intimate knowledge for degradation (Follingstad, Coyne, & Gambone, 2005). It targets the emotional and psychological well-being of the victim, and it is often a precursor to physical abuse. . . . Some types of physical behavior can be considered emotional abuse in that they represent physical violence (Marshall, 1996). Examples include: throwing objects, kicking a wall, shaking a finger or fist at the victim, driving recklessly while the victim is in the car, or threatening to destroy objects the victim values. Property damage is a form of emotional abuse considered “symbolic violence” (Engel, 2002) that results in serious psychological, social, and economic costs. Harm inflicted on victim’s pets can be emotionally abusive, causing suffering in both humans and animals (Faver & Strand, 2007). Link to study, above. Thank you with all my heart to my newest Friends of the Show, Lidia M; Carl O; Juana N; and Cheryl B (extra thank you!), for loving and lifting me! Friends of the Show get all Premium Content! Our Monthly Meetup Bible study is tonight at 6:30 PM Central in the Community. You coming? LOVE the Word® is a Bible study method based on Mary’s own practice: lectio without the Latin. Get the book based on Sonja’s method in the right margin, How to Pray Like Mary. L | Listen (Receive the Word via audio or video.)  O | Observe (Connect the passage to your life and recent events.) Where did you identify instances of abuse in your life? Have you been an abuser? Where do you need better boundaries, either as one who has been abused or as an abuser? Spend some time talking with the Holy Spirit about a peace-plan for this holiday season. V | Verbalize (Pray about your thoughts and emotions.) Remembering that He loves you and that you are in His presence, talk to God about the particulars of your O – Observe step. You may want to write your reflections in your LOVE the Word® journal. Or, get a free journal page and guide in the right-hand margin. E | Entrust (Rest in the Word.) Dearest Jesus, my love, in the words of little Therese, "For me to become great is impossible.
    Show more Show less
    48 mins