Today's conversation features Lionel Moses—family man, veteran of Desert Storm, coach, and author of The Marriage Seed. We dig into relationship mastery across home and work: self-awareness over blame, trust over suspicion, and communication that lands (not just "gets said").

1. Start with self. Lasting change begins by checking beliefs, tone, and patterns before judging a partner.
   
   

2. Choose trust over suspicion. Misunderstandings shrink when curiosity and clarity lead the interaction.
   
   

3. Weed the garden, consistently. Relationships thrive when small problems are pulled early—over and over.
   
   

• Self-Responsibility > Perfection Hunting (05:52–06:39; 11:11–12:14)
  Timestamp: 05:52 — 06:39
  Why it matters: Recognizing that minds change proves self-knowledge evolves. Extending the same grace to a partner transforms conflict from judgment to teamwork. Perfection tests (ROCD, nitpicking) block real connection; openness creates possibility.
  Notable quote: "If you change your mind, that proves you disagree with your old self… give grace for your partner." (05:52–06:39)
  
  

• Trust Over Suspicion (14:37–15:16; 15:38–16:25)
  Timestamp: 14:37 — 15:16
  Why it matters: Many "communication problems" are interpretation gaps. Filling those gaps with trust, not suspicion, stabilizes connection and keeps dialogue constructive—even after past hurt. Flexing rigid checklists into "openness to possibilities" prevents discarding viable partners for trivial reasons.
  Notable quote: "When you're trying to establish a relationship, you have to really know how to fill in those gaps of misunderstanding with trust versus suspicion." (14:37–15:16)
  
  

• Tone, Pauses, and the Garden Rule (18:45–20:10; 08:06–08:48; 31:00–31:38; 32:34–32:53)
  Timestamp: 18:45 — 20:10
  Why it matters: Tone is a reflex—and often invisible until heard back. Recording and replaying increases awareness, making it easier to shift delivery. Pair this with the "dung grows things" and "measure twice, cut once" mindset: expect mess, pause before reacting, and remove small weeds quickly to protect what's growing.
  Notable quotes:
  • "Most people… don't like their own tone. When they hear it, it annoys them enough to make the change." (19:24–20:08)
  • "One of the best fertilizers you can have is dung." (08:06–08:48)
  • "Measure twice, cut once." (31:00–31:38) + "That's a learned behavior." (32:34–32:53)
  
  

• Boundary + buy-in at work: Relationship habits bleed into teams; clarity and care increase performance. (27:09–29:44)

• Weed therapy: Pull issues up by the roots, repeatedly. (25:52–26:06)

• Win-win-win frame: Healthy partnerships benefit the two people and the world around them. (39:17–39:51)
  

Connections:

Visit us: MarniBattista.Com
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Take the Quiz: Unlock the shocking truth about how your unique personality type is silently shaping your future
Buy Your Radical Living Challenge: 7 Questions For Living The Meaningful Life

Lionel's Book - The Marriage Seed, Life coaching ot help get out of our own way

Lionel's Website

Today I'm joined by April Davis, founder of LUMA Luxury Matchmaking—and yes, she's married to a divorce attorney, which gives her a razor-sharp lens on what actually lasts. We dig into modern dating beyond the apps: values vs. chemistry, paradox of choice, readiness, standards, gender roles, and commitment—so real love stops feeling impossible and starts feeling inevitable.

1. Values beat vibes. Chemistry fades; aligned values keep relationships stable long-term.
   
   

2. Choice overload kills connection. The app era fuels paradox of choice and "dating for dismissal." Narrow on what actually matters.
   
   

3. Readiness > checklist. Openness, fair conflict, and commitment predict lasting love more than "perfect" specs.
   
   

• Timestamp: 02:24
  
  

• What it means: Prioritizing values (character, life goals, family, faith, kids) prevents future mismatch that chemistry can hide. This shifts selection from short-term spark to long-term fit—dramatically reducing avoidable breakups.
  
  

• Notable quote (02:24): "Values are something that is core to who you are… you can't see red flags with rose-colored goggles."
  
  

• Why it matters: When values align, everyday decisions, conflict resolution, money, and parenting stay coherent—creating durability instead of turbulence.
  
  

• Timestamp: 11:27
  
  

• What it means: Infinite swiping feeds a paradox of choice and "dating for dismissal," where attention moves to filtering out instead of letting something good unfold. Over-filtering (height, income, micro-preferences) trades possibility for illusion.
  
  

• Notable quotes:
  
  

• • (11:27) "With apps, you have this paradox of choice… 50 shades of gray… dating for dismissal."
    
    

  • (04:20–05:24) "Apps are only good for about 10%… someone swiped 2,000 times to get one date."
    
    

• Why it matters: Reducing noise (3–5 non-negotiable values) turns attention from shopping to connecting, improving follow-through, first-date quality, and momentum.
  
  

• Timestamp: 17:56
  
  

• What it means: A long checklist often masks fear; readiness looks like an open heart, flexible standards, and willingness to be coached. Add fair fighting and commitment to the relationship "third entity," and longevity rises. Modern gender roles (wanting alpha drive plus deep emotional attunement) can become an impossible ideal—so clarity beats fantasy.
  
  

• Notable quotes:
  
  

• • (17:56) "Either they have a loving mindset and an open heart… or they're closed off… and not really ready."
    
    

  • (29:38–30:34) "How you argue… fight fair… commitment to the relationship."
    
    

  • (15:37–17:34) On shifting gender expectations and the "perfect person" myth.
    
    

Why it matters: Readiness turns dates into data, conflict into collaboration, and differences into design choices—key levers for resilient partnership.

Connections:

Visit us: MarniBattista.Com
Ready To Create Your Corporate Escape Plan? Book A Call With Me
Take the Quiz: Unlock the shocking truth about how your unique personality type is silently shaping your future
Buy Your Radical Living Challenge: 7 Questions For Living The Meaningful Life

Learn more about LUMA

Guest intro:
Mayumi Pachkoski is a U.S.–based aesthetician and energy-healing practitioner who blended Eastern and Western skincare to build a thriving six-figure studio in Maryland. A former flight attendant who pivoted in her 30s, she now helps practitioners grow healing businesses rooted in purpose and service.

1. Leap early; build skills on the way. Use "no-brainer" offers to get in the room and learn from pros. (20:07–22:36)
   
   

2. Let purpose lead the model. When work sits at the intersection of talent, joy, and need (ikigai), consistency becomes easy. (37:26–38:24)
   
   

3. Grow through connection, not discounts. Reward referrers; keep pricing strong; become the story people share. (28:55–31:13)
   
   

• Bold reinvention & "no-brainer" apprenticeships — 20:07–22:36
  What it means: Proximity compounds. Offering flexible, unpaid assisting to a top practitioner compresses the learning curve, reveals real-world systems, and creates industry credibility faster than solo trial-and-error.
  Quote: "You don't have to even pay me… I will clean, vacuum… It's a win-win, a no-brainer offer."
  Mayumi
  
  

• Ikigai as a business operating system — 37:26–38:24
  What it means: Aligning work with what one loves, does well, and what people will pay for transforms effort into enthusiasm; sustainable energy becomes a competitive advantage over hustle-based growth.
  Quote: "Work doesn't feel like a job… I wake up every morning excited about who I'm going to serve. That's ikigai."
  Mayumi
  
  

• Referral engines beat discounts — 28:55–31:13
  What it means: Paying clients (via generous thank-you credits) to advertise outperforms cutting prices for newcomers; it preserves brand value, attracts ideal fits, and turns great results into free marketing.
  Quote: "New clients come with the regular price… but for you, as a thank you for the referral, I give 50% off next time."
  Mayumi
  
  

• Test the move with logistics smarts: Pre-paying six months' rent to secure housing without local job history shows how creative terms remove gatekeeper friction. (10:01–10:32)
  Mayumi
  
  

• Courageous partner talk: Ask the life-defining question early—"What do you really want?"—then build the plan around it. (05:24–06:22)
  Mayumi
  
  

• Permission to start messy: Feeling nothing in early energy-work classes didn't stop the pursuit; the right modality (Access Bars, then Quantum Touch) clicked later. (33:46–35:03)
  Mayumi
  
  

Connections:

Visit us: MarniBattista.Com
Ready To Create Your Corporate Escape Plan? Book A Call With Me
Take the Quiz: Unlock the shocking truth about how your unique personality type is silently shaping your future
Buy Your Radical Living Challenge: 7 Questions For Living The Meaningful Life
Learn more about Mayumi
Book a call with Mayumi