WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF??? A LOT OF PEOPLE APPARENTLY, BASED ON HOW NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE HAVE READ HER BOOKS! DON'T YOU WANT TO DIVE RIGHT INTO A TIME-TRAVELING GENDER-SWAPPING LOVE LETTER TO A FIGURE SO FULL OF JOIE DE VIVRE THAT ONE BODY AND ERA CANNOT CONTAIN THEM?? (MODERN POP ARTISTS WISH!) IT'S A BANANAS BEAUTIFUL BOOK, AND THIS EP WE HAVE THEEE COOLEST GUEST TO HELP US FIGURE OUT WTF IS GOING ON INSIDE IT: SHELLEY BROOKS!

"TRAVELOGUE, ADVENTURE STORY, ROMANCE, THIS BOOK HAS GOT IT ALL!," A REVIEW BY OUR VERY OWN VEDA! THIS BOOK IS SOOO BEAUTIFUL! IT'S ABOUT 10TH CENTURY PERSIAN POET OMAR KHAYAAM AND HIS REAL LIFE LIVED IN PURSUIT OF DIVINE TRUTH AND BEAUTY (VIZ FALLING IN LOVE, DRINKING WINE, LOOKING AT THE STARS, CONVERSING FOR HOURS WITH A KINDRED SOUL...). IT'S ABOUT ORIENTALISM, IMPERIALISM, AND THE CULTURALLY REACTIONARY GEOPOLITICAL EFFECTS OF WESTERN HEGEMONIC EXPANSION! IT'S ABOUT THE SINKING OF THE TITANIC! IT'S WAY GODDAMN BETTER THAN DUNE! JUST READ IT AND BE CHANGED INSIDE!

HAVE YOU READ THE ONE ABOUT THE 19-YEAR-OLD WHO GETS ABDUCTED AND HAS A BABY BY HER CAPTOR AND RAISES THAT CHILD FOR 5 MORE YEARS IN TOTAL ISOLATION WHILE SHE TRIES TO ESCAPE? IT'S PERFECT FOR PARTIES! WHICH IS *NOT* WHY OUR FIRST-EVER GUEST HAS READ IT LITERALLY THREE HUNDRED TIMES...

P.S. RAMONA'S HEADPHONES DIDN'T WORK, SORRY FOR SOME WEIRD BACKGROUND WHITE NOISE :( I TRIED