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Publisher's Summary

In a world overrun by rabid, naked, blue zombies, feeding on the flesh of all, a glimmering jewel of humanity endures. The Island of Guntersville has become a hopeful paradise for the survivors of the plague that ravages the land. Follow Mo, Smokes, Easy, and the rest of his band of misfits - oh, and a ninja monkey - on their replica pirate ship, the Viva Ancora, as they set off on a wild blue adventure in search of "the cure".

Meanwhile, back in the tranquil oasis, something dark and sinister has crept in. A wolf in sheep's clothing. A vile monster that hungers for the treasure that is humanity’s best hope for the future - the children.

Can good triumph over evil? Will this wickedness spread? Who will stand against the malevolence? Is all hope lost? It's the end of the world as we know it.  

Come join us, friend. In a place where the zombies bite, fish bite, life always bite, and sometimes, people bite. Welcome to Zombie Paradise Lost.

©2019 Javan Bonds (P)2019 Javan Bonds

What listeners say about Zombie Paradise Lost

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Redneck, Blues and Cannibals

This series covers everything and so much more beware you must act and thing as a real southern redneck or as the legends describe rednecks. I am writing this and waiting in book 7 to be released it adventures of MO and his band of humans after a virus is released and turn people into zombies not your normal zombies but they are blue, constantly hungry and erect cock. Now as the story goes on you find these zombies are changing and growing, they getting faster, groups are nesting with a queen who does nothing but get bred and have more zombies. Now for the remnants of human they are not doing to well they keep killing each other by accident or as food source. Killing for food is a minster who came to town and started killing the children of the members of his flock and they are stupid enough not question him when he feeds them and they do not know they are eating their own children they have taken the minster at his word and blind faith. There is so many plots, storylines and adventures you need to either read or listen to them so remember your arecA Southern Redneck no education or brains trying to survive the blue zombies who wants to eat you.

2 people found this helpful

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Zombie Paradise Lost

Mo and everyone are back, but this book is a bit different as this comes from the perspective of the islanders during the same time period of the book Zombie River Run. So while Mo and the Viva Ancora are still making its way downriver, a demon has embedded itself in Guntersville and it is praying on its children, and trying to usurp the elder Collins as mayor. But when it is the Techs semi adopted son that the Collin's are watching while Gene is on the river that goes missing things change, and the detective decides to go rogue to check out the new beloved preacher man. This was a different kind of book/audio for Bonds and while it didn't have as much laughter it was needed I think to allow the series to grow, after all these are the weirdos you would meet in your new and ever changing neighborhood after a apocalypse event. There is still lots of action and suspense but I would have happily died a gruesome death had I been able to take the demon with me. As always narrator S W Salzman did a awesome job with all the characters and all their voices, I love listening to his books, and I can't wait for the next still alive book.

2 people found this helpful

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Still funny as hell

If you start this one don’t let the excerpts from book 5 confuse you. It is a new story. As is stated it takes place at the same time as book 5. Keep going. Bonds and Salzman make an amazing team. Can’t imagine anyone else narrating this series. The series continues to be funny and interesting. Will they find the Dr that may have a cure.... kind of hope they don’t. Need more of Smokes in the story. Missing him! Ready for this preacher to get his and I know it’s coming! He definitely needs to die a truly horrible death! Don’t let him turn in to a zombie because he’s already (small spoiler) eaten enough humans! Oh or let him get eaten by a horde of zombie children! That would be amazing!

2 people found this helpful

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Good vs. Evil with Zombies

Another bloody, gory, tremendously entertaining book in the "Still Alive" series! Nobody can write zombie killing scenes like Javan Bonds! Why am I reminded of the song "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover"? I think it should be changed to "Hundreds of Ways to Slaughter Zombies"! No matter how many peevies are encountered, Mr. Bonds manages to have a new way of exterminating each and every one of them. And, of course, our blue, ever erect and continuously diarrhea- prone bluenatics continue to try to infect everyone in sight. In this installment, Mo and his crew on the Viva Ancora are traveling to try to find a cure to the ever increasing and ever evolving zombie crisis. Meanwhile, his father, Randy Collins, continues to act as Mayor and tries to keep the peace among the survivors. Unfortunately, something is happening as young girls in the community keep disappearing without a trace. Of course, we have numerous deaths, including a few of beloved characters (why am I not surprised?). "Heroes get remembered, but legends never die." "You're always where you are supposed to be" continues to be the theme in this series. Mr. Bonds kills off hoards of minor characters in this book, many through friendly fire or by suicide in order to avoid turning blue like a smurf (or smurfette). All of my favorite characters are back in this book, along with some new (villainous) ones. Mo and Smokes don't figure as prominently in this episode, but there is still plenty of their special and humorous relationship to entertain the reader. I also appreciate that Mr. Bonds continues to use references to sci-fi movies and comic books for those of us who are closet nerds (like Mo and Gene). I really need to go back and reread "The Watchman" series..... The addition of the Alpha and the Wolf add a totally different dimension to this installment. Hopefully, these two will meet suitably horrific ends in a future book. It's always nice to have a villain that you love to hate! I appreciate Mr. Bonds' talent in writing laugh out loud humor. Any book that has the following quote in the first few pages has got to be good: "I can imagine the monsters trying to bite Nancy Pelosi and getting silicone poisoning." The narrator, S.W. Salzman, has become the voice for this series. I cannot read any of these books without hearing his voices in my head. The different voices that he uses throughout really make this an outstanding listen.

2 people found this helpful

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Another great book in the Still Alive series

The Still Alive series continues to be one of my favorite go-to books for gratuitous violence, lowbrow humor, and descriptions of unspeakable things I wish I could unread. I can't be sure, as I'm not certain which scenes of the book my brain has blocked from my memory to protect itself from the mental trauma, but Zombie Paradise Lost may have been the most violent and gruesome book of the series. In a good way. If you haven't started this series, you should really give it a shot. Once you start, you won't be able to stop. Its kind of like passing a car wreck on the highway- you know you shouldn't slow down and look and you tell yourself you won't, but then you find yourself staring anyway. But in a good way. But seriously, this is a great series. The writing is well done, the plot is exciting and detailed, and most of the characters are deep and developed. Hidden under all the blood and gore, Javan Bonds has some talent as an author. The humor typically balances the darker aspects of the books, providing levity and enjoyment when it's needed. So basically, Zombie Paradise Lost is full of all things that make this series great but is also a "split book" that takes place at the same time as Zombie River Run and I'm still internally debating if I liked that. Many of the events from Zombie River Run are repeated in Zombie Paradise Lost, but described from a different perspective. It provides some additional insight into many of the events in the last book but also left me feeling a bit cheated on the plot and advancement of the story arc. And while I was disappointed Mo isn't a major character in Zombie Paradise Lost, I really enjoyed the fully developed story involving the investigation of the missing children -- the whole good versus evil element has been excellent. S.W. Salzman's performance in this series continues to blow me away. I still can't believe that one narrator can create so many different, distinct voices. It really makes the book come alive and significantly adds to Bonds' already well-developed characters. Special thanks to Javan Bonds who provided me with this book at my request.

1 person found this helpful

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They just keep coming!

I've listened to them all... They are AWESOME!! Love Smokes. Love the humor, conversations, action, and language. I love these books, seriously. And Shawn Salzman is a fantastic narrator.

1 person found this helpful

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Great Story!!

I've enjoyed all these books and it's a great series, Can't wait for it to continue.

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Another great work!

Found it a little disorienting but each and every chapter is filled to the brim with awesomeness!

1 person found this helpful

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My favorite in the series

In the beginning when I found out that this book would be placed along side the last as far as timeline I was intensely disappointed, however the action and mystery really made up for any disappointment I may have felt.

1 person found this helpful

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Totally enthralled by this series

And the adventure continues, the story and characters just get better and better! Looking forward to the next book!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Sara B
  • 06-12-20

Zombies & Cannibals

What an adventure! Zombie Paradise Lost takes the readers/listeners on a fast-paced, winding zombie-infested journey packed with gore, humour, and loads of inappropriate and politically incorrect remarks. I smiled or laughed the whole time, by the time the audiobook ended, my cheeks hurt. The storyline is cleverly composed, entertaining, and wholly satisfying. The zombies are evolving, becoming faster and more dangerous. Mo and the company are still on the pirate ship, Viva Ancora, in search of the cure, while having to constantly battle zombies. On the home-front, trouble brews, Children are going missing, and an evil cannibal, a wolf, cloaked in a sheep's clothing, is trying to take over. Survivors are still killing each other accidentally or becoming tasty morsels for the naked and erect cannibalistic blue zombies or other humans. Topnotch performance by S.W. Salzman, an incredibly talented narrator. He captured the nuances of the characters, the accents, and inflexions, literally breathing life into their personalities. I thoroughly enjoyed this series and will read or listen to anything by Javan Bonds, a gifted storyteller and an inspiration. I highly recommend the Still Alive series, but not to those of you who are squeamish.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Barbi J.
  • 06-18-20

Yikes!

What do you get when you cross a team of good guys, naked zombies, a wolf and a mystery? You get another great book by Javan Bonds! The Peevies are evolving, and acting human?!? The kids are disappearing, people are eating some really tasty BBQ, and now of their own has gone missing. Will the crew turn back from all the damn dam work they are doing and help before it’s too late? I don’t know! So, I’m going to keep reading and find out.

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  • Kindle Customer
  • 03-11-20

really good entertaining and funny

altogether one of the better zombie apocalypse boots I've ever read thank you Javan Bonds

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  • Alexandra
  • 02-01-20

Paradise Lost

Thank Javan for another instalment of Mo and his Island family. SW Salamanca totally brings your characters to life but I’m unsure whether we actually want Elmo to come to life because I’m pretty sure I would be a red shirt in his motley crew. Awesome read highly recommend this series

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  • Dennis
  • 12-24-19

Think Redneck

This series covers everything and so much more beware you must act and thing as a real southern redneck or as the legends describe rednecks. I am writing this and waiting in book 7 to be released it adventures of MO and his band of humans after a virus is released and turn people into zombies not your normal zombies but they are blue, constantly hungry and erect cock. Now as the story goes on you find these zombies are changing and growing, they getting faster, groups are nesting with a queen who does nothing but get bred and have more zombies. Now for the remnants of human they are not doing to well they keep killing each other by accident or as food source. Killing for food is a minster who came to town and started killing the children of the members of his flock and they are stupid enough not question him when he feeds them and they do not know they are eating their own children they have taken the minster at his word and blind faith. There is so many plots, storylines and adventures you need to either read or listen to them so remember your are A Southern Redneck no education or brains trying to survive the blue zombies who wants to eat you.

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  • Mia Harper
  • 11-14-19

Another excellent masterpiece by Javan Bonds!

Mo & friends face more gore, horror & humour on their mission to find the cure, while their loved ones face more danger when a wolf hides amongst the sheep! Another exciting death defying adventure from Javan Bonds that I couldn't put down and was disappointed when it ended too soon, leaving me with the question all authors hate: "When is the next book due out" - I need to know what happens next.

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  • Michelle Sewell
  • 10-26-19

Still a brilliant series. Brilliant narration

I have listened to the whole of this series so far and this instalment is just as brilliant as the others. I couldn’t get enough of “the damn dam” lol and of course Smokes and Moe. The scene with the haircut is hilarious. I love the development of the other characters too. Looking forward to the next instalment.

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  • DabOfDarkness
  • 10-05-19

Pass me some cannibalism please

It’s another great addition to the series. That combination of insulting humor and gory zombie deaths has me snort laughing my way through the book. If you are squeamish about any type of bodily discharges or easily offended by religious or political jokes, then this might not be the series for you. For the rest of us that can laugh at ourselves, others, and blue, naked zombie cannibals, this is the series for us! Book 5 followed our hero, Mo Collins, and his gang out on the pirate ship Viva Ancora. Here in Book 6, it’s the same time frame but focuses more on what’s happening back at home on the zombie-free island of Guntersville. It was great to explore this timeline more as Book 5 hinted at what evil was happening back home. Us readers know to watch out for Mike Brown, but the people of Guntersville have to investigate the multiple cases of missing children. In strides Sako, who takes on the persona of Rorscharch from The Watchmen. Yes! I loved this character and this alter ego. While I do get a good laugh out of creative ways to kill zombies, there were a lot of penile injuries. The first few were funny, but I did get a little tired of it after a while. Though I did snicker when one of the characters (Mo?) comments that he didn’t think he could see another blue penis destroyed in a unique way ever again. Same with the zombie poo. So much poo everywhere! At first, it’s funny background and yet another reason to avoid becoming a zombie. But after a while, it was a little tiresome. I could use more nerd references instead. I adore all the movie and book references. The ending wraps up some things but leaves us hanging on a limb over a canyon in other areas. So looking forward to the next book in the series! 4.5/5 stars. The Narration: S. W. Salzman continues to do this series justice. I loved his Rorschach voice – spot on! I always love his Mo voice – so funny and innocent well-meaning idiot average guy. His female voices sound feminine and all the characters have their own unique voices. The pacing is perfect and his delivery of the humor is excellent. There were no technical issues with this recording. 5/5 stars.

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  • Nat 87
  • 09-25-19

Blue PV's on overload!

If you have made it to book 6 then you know what you are in for! Taking place at the same time frame as book 5 the story fills in the events in Guntersville whilst Mo and Co are off searching for a cure! The book is filled with naked blue-na-tics in abundance and keeps you listening and listening!

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  • Mindyg123
  • 09-24-19

Keeps you entranced

If you like your zombies nude, blue and rabid along with a big helping of humor then jump right in to this awesome world that Javan Bonds has created. Mo, Smokes, Easy and the rest of the Viva Ancora crew are still working their way downriver in search of the scientist who might have a "cure" for this man-made apocalyptic plague. Naturally for Mo, just going down the river isn't easy sailing. There's damns and locks on the river they have to get through, of course there's the peevies, but only when Mo is around, I swear Mo is a peevie magnet, and unbeknownst to the crew someone, well actually something is following them. Meanwhile in Guntersville there's a wolf in sheep's clothing, someone who you would expect to be a protector, taking the island's most important and valuable treasure, the children. That someone is also trying to take the control and the power of the island and part of that plan is to make Mayor Randy Collins look guilty of taking the children. This book will make you laugh in spots and stare stunned in others as we lose people and evil tries to gain the upper hand. I couldn't put this down, I stayed up way way past my bed time listening to this story. The pace is fast and the writing flows perfectly. The author makes the characters come alive, so much so that you start to become invested in their lives and their stories and want to know what happens to them. But like all good things this book comes to an end, and what an end it is, there's one hell of a cliffhanger, you'll catch yourself cussing at the author haha. My only complaint is now I have to impatiently wait for the next book in this amazingly funny/apocalyptic horror. The narrator chosen to do this book NAILED IT!!!