You Gotta Be You

How to Embrace This Messy Life and Step Into Who You Really Are

By: Brandon Kyle Goodman

Narrated by: Brandon Kyle Goodman

YOU ARE ENOUGH EXACTLY AS YOU ARE.
​ From the time we’re born, a litany of do’s and don’ts are placed on us by our families, our communities, and society. We're required to fit into boxes based on our race, gender, sexuality, and other parts of our identities, being told by others how we should behave, who we should date, or what we should be interested in. For so many of us, those boxes begin to feel like shackles when we realize they don’t fit our unique shape, yet we keep trying because we crave acceptance and validation. But is “fitting in” worth the time, energy, and suffering? Actor, writer, and activist Brandon Kyle Goodman says, Hell no it ain’t! As a Black nonbinary, queer person in a dark-skinned 6’1”, 180-pound male body born into a religious immigrant household, Brandon knows the pain of having to hide one’s true self, the work of learning to love that true self, and the freedom of finally being your true self.In You Gotta Be You, Brandon affectionately challenges you to consider, “Who would I be if society never got its hands on me?” This question set Brandon on a mission to dropkick societal shackles by unlearning all the things he was told he should be in order to step into who he really is. It required him to reexamine messy but ultimately defining moments in his life—his first time being followed in a store, navigating his mother’s born-again Christian faith, and regretfully using soap as lube (yes, you read that right!)—to find the lessons that would guide him to his most authentic self. Compassionate and soulful, funny and revealing, You Gotta Be You is an unapologetic call to self-freedom. It’s about turning rejection (from others and yourself) into a roadmap to self-love. It’s a guide to setting boundaries and fostering self-growth. And most importantly, it’s an affirmation that we are enough exactly as we are.

Critic reviews

“This book is moving, heartfelt, incisive, and bitingly funny. This isn’t just a beautiful read, it’s also an invitation to live better, messier, and more truthfully. I loved it!”—Amber Ruffin, host of The Amber Ruffin Show and New York Times bestselling author of You’ll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey

“You Gotta Be You is a love letter to anyone that reads it, but it’s also a call to action. It’s a book that challenges you to stop being who everyone wants you to be and start being who you are. Even if that person is messy - and after you read Brandon’s new definition of “messy”–you’ll realize there’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a must read for anyone that marches to beat of their own drum, and let’s be honest… that’s all of us.”—Lena Waithe

“This book is a masterpiece of stories and one of the most entertaining and encouraging books I've ever read. By the end, you’ll feel great about you.”
—Karamo Brown, co-host of Queer Eye and author of Karamo

"Brandon's voice will empower you to the very core. After reading this refreshingly conversational and honest book, it’s impossible not to share his infectious lust for life and passion for both self-acceptance and self-love. Brandon reminds us we’re always on our path of becoming. Reading this will make you feel braver, brighter and bolder along your journey. I know I did!"
—Lily Collins, actress and author of Unfiltered

“There are very few individuals on this planet who are as talented as Brandon Kyle Goodman. He is truly one of the most creative, funny, beautiful people and I loved this book.”
—Taylor Tomlinson

"Had I had access to the testimonies and musings found on every page of You Gotta Be You when I was coming of age, I may have spent more days loving myself. Brandon Kyle Goodman's words are a reminder of the power of Black queer self-determination. You Gotta Be You is a mediation on Black queer life that is full of the sharp wit, singular humor and courageous candor that has come to define its author. Someone's life will be transformed because of Goodman's gift."—Darnell L. Moore, author of No Ashes in the Fire

“Brandon is such a beautiful example of the joy one can have when you truly embrace who you are, and that joy is contagious! The world is a brighter (& funnier) place because of their work and shows other folks that the most beautiful gift they can give to the world is to be themselves.”—Tess Holiday, author of The Not So Subtle Art of Being a Fat Girl

“Brandon is a force of nature: funny, honest, messy and real. You Gotta Be You showcases a level of introspection it takes most people a lifetime to achieve. There’s a lesson in these pages for everyone.”—Nick Kroll

Transparency and resilience

I loved this audio book so much. First that it has the author doing the audio. I find that very important. But it’s also helped me understand many parts of myself. As a white queer person, it’s helped me see even more into how I could be an ally and better advocate. So good.

BKG is the BEST!

Brandon is such an authentic voice of hope. I loved every minute of this book, and not surprising they are such a great reader!!

Truly one of the sweetest and most poignant autobios I've ever had the pleasure of coming accross. No matter what your identity and race, Black, queer, POC, white and cis-het this book is inspirational and moving. The world would be a better place if everyone read this book. I wholeheartedly recommend this book for any adult!

Powerful

Listening to this book by Brandon Kyle Goodman and their life story has really touched me and I’m happy that they are still living their best life. I continue to pray and wish them the best and I wish to meet them one day in person. BKG is definitely one of my favorite role models and I love them very much.

Everything and MORE!!

This book is a labor of love and the hug we all deserve. I feel restored and worthy of claiming this life as my own, exactly as I am. Man, I needed this. Thank you, BKG ❤️

Read this book.

Language to help a light skinned black woman who never quite knew which category she falls in, reminders that no one defines you expect you yourself and inspiration to remember we all suffer trauma, failure and uncertainty, but that’s not the whole story or end of the story.
Thank you.