Wired for Dating

How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate

By: Stan Tatkin PsyD MFT

Narrated by: Jonathan Yen

Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins

Publisher's summary

Everybody wants someone to love and spend time with, and searching for your ideal partner is a natural and healthy human tendency. Just about everyone dates at some point in their life, yet few really understand what they're doing or how to get the best results.

In Wired for Dating, psychologist and relationship expert Stan Tatkin - author of Wired for Love - offers powerful tips based in neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find a compatible mate and go on to create a fabulous relationship. Using real-life scenarios, you'll learn key concepts about how people become attracted to potential partners and move toward or away from commitment and the important role the brain and nervous system play in this process. Each chapter explores the scientific concepts of attachment theory, arousal regulation, and neuroscience. And with a little practice, you'll learn to apply these exercises and practical techniques to your dating life.

If you're ready to get serious (or not!) about dating, meet your match, and have more fun, this book will be your guide.

©2016 Stan Tatkin (P)2016 Tantor

Critic reviews

"Useful exercises, such as how to use mindful breath to calm oneself, how to soothe a partner, and even how to break up constructively, are sprinkled throughout." ( Publishers Weekly)

Title is misleading

The title of this book is misleading as there is very little science referenced in the book. As others noted, the narrator has a style that is a little too excited. It is good because it is not monotone, but it is a little like listening to a children’s book. 1/3 of this book was useful and 2/3 is common sense for anyone with any level of life experience. This is not a book I will keep in my collection to read again.

Very elementary stuff and bad narration.

This is a book for people no nothing about physiology and basic behavior. Absolutely no insights for a normally educated person. Although I only could get through chapter 6. I’m returning. And the narrator sounds like a voice from pharma ads. Awful.

Good for you, if you're an anchor

I enjoyed this book because it helped me identify some communication styles that were not helping me. He introduced me to 3 styles of dating. I do think the author did make it seem like unless you're an "anchor" or dating an anchor the relationship will be difficult. Which was a bit disappointing.

Must Reading before Dating!

I highly recommend this book for anyone starting to date, particularly after divorce. It is an extremely useful tool for staying calm in the ups and downs of the dating world, increasing the likelihood of success, and gaining insight about past relationships and whether the people you're starting to see are a good fit. and because no two people are perfect matches, it is also very helpful in illustrating how to work through the rough spots..

If you're looking for what might be one of the most important events of your life, i e a long-term relationship or even marriage, why wouldn't you want to be well prepared?

Enjoyed!

I didn't want it to end,
however, I found the suggested dialogue was not always realistic. Excellent content. Really gives you something to think about.

Excited About Love

I have spent years moving too fast in relationships and this will allow me to have a set tools to properly manage the amount of time I spend determining whether I've met my match or need to keep options open.
I recommend this is for everyone, even married couples.

Great book! Great info. Didn't like the narrator.

The info Stan presents is perfect for learning how to date and about oneself. The narrator's voice inflections made it sound like he was reading to children. He would "do" the voices for people in the story,, but they didn't seem to deflect the distress or feeling that the words conveyed which felt confusing.

Great!!

Tatkin illuminated the "end goal" to all this dating I've been doing, which is charecteristics of a secure relationship! He also includes some great quizzes to help you identify your attachment profile. I'm an island dating a wave (I thought it was reverse)!! Blah, blah, blah- I can't say enough good stuff about this book. A list of Pros: Its tailored to individuals prior to commitment so, I learned a lot more about negotiating partnership than I did in than in, "Wired for Love." I also appreciated that how he lovingly addressed the unhealthier spectrums of attachment. I simultaneously listened to Tatkin's audio program: Relationship Rx, which Tatkin himself narrates, and I appreciated the difference between Yen's tempo and Tatkin's. Yen's narration of the couple's arguments was at times real and others hilarious! An enjoyable read!

Excellent book

Excellent book to have a fulfilling relationship. Also to understand the difference personalities and how to work with each.

Dr. Tatkin appears to have never heard of Narcissists

My proposed alternative title: wired for enslavement. His bit about people not being able to learrn to love themselves is unintentional comdey gold. Tatkin is a naive fool and his book is emotionally dangerous.

Monotone and drab narration.

I'm very interested in this topic but found the narration very drab and monotone and found the narrator's use of different voices during conversations as infantile and irritating.

Hyperbolic narration, not useful unless it’s your first tatkin book

Dreadful narration. And, so sad, the content answered none of my questions after hearing’your brain on love’ but really sounded like hot air. Good if you’re new to tatkin

Hmm..

There are some interesting facts, but chapter 3 ( i think) just seems unnecessary & rubbing it in about ‘why we need partnership’, don’t you think we know that? Otherwise we wouldnt be reading a dating book huh 🙄 we don’t need convincing that dating is good for us. We know that, the pain is in not being able to find that. PLUS ~ he mentions that our unconscious will seek familiarity based on familial patterns, which may not always be good for us ( i.e abusive parents ) & then in the next breath goes on to say how important it is to do vetting and get families perspective, bc supposedly they are gonna have our best interest etc at heart. Hmm ~ no one see the not adding up here? If we screwed at finding healthy partnership bc of an unhealthy or abusive family, our same such family is not gonna be v good / capable of doing any vetting huh! I think this author needs to be a bit more worldly, aware & sensitive. This is what i think so far. Its on my reading list for a training or i’d ditch it now, but will grit through it for now.

Incredibly valuable and truly life-changing!

This book is a life-changer! I am so thankful for the author, the book is very thorough and well explained. I actually bought 3 other books of this author as they are a true gem! Excellent position to anyone who wants to stop suffering and start loving fully. Totally recommended!

Insightful

Really love this book. Specially the part where the author disects the attachment styles of individuals. No doubt that specific knoweledge is extremely useful when in a relationship. I found the beginning of the book a bit boring and I must admit I almost gave up listening to it. I'm glad I didn't though. I feel I have learnt a lot about myself and have developed a new skill as a result of sticking until the end. I definitely recommend it!