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When It's Never About You  By  cover art

When It's Never About You

By: Ilene S. Cohen Ph.D.
Narrated by: Reba Thomas
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Publisher's summary

Is being a people-pleaser (a.k.a., conflict avoider, pushover, approval-seeker, doormat, etc.) ruining your life? Do you sometimes feel as if you exist only to satisfy others wants and needs, but never your own? Is your physical, mental, and emotional health suffering as a result? 

Everyone loves a people-pleaser. They're always willing to help, to stay late, to fill in, to go along. But if you're one of them, you often end up feeling violated, ignored, disrespected, and disconnected from life and others. Silently enduring the ongoing and relentless invalidation of who you are and what you want will reliably wreak havoc on your health and the health of your relationships. 

So, are you ready to put less "Yes" and more "You" in your life?

In When It's Never About You, psychotherapist Ilene S. Cohen uses real-world examples and activities to help you take a systemic look at people-pleasing. You'll learn... 

  • How to reclaim a strong and balanced sense of self while still being a "good person." 
  • How to break the harmful behavior patterns that keep you from being heard, listened to and respected. Specific strategies for transforming yourself from selfless to "self-full." 
  • How to go from feeling vanished to being clearly differentiated. 
  • How to get what you want and need while actually earning even more respect from others. 

Tired of disappearing from life? Ready for the pleasing prescription? When It s Never About You will give you the tools and confidence to put yourself first, while bringing the best YOU to those who depend on you!

©2017 Ilene S. Cohen, Ph.D. (P)2017 Ilene S. Cohen, Ph.D.

What listeners say about When It's Never About You

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Very well written and poignant book for our time

This book was especially helpful to my personal journey towards self autonomy and fulfillment. Dr. Irene’s method of subtlety integrating Eastern Insight/Buddhist psychology into her approach for self differentiation is a breath of fresh air in this venue. Thank-You for writing this book!

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A different perspective that’s worth listening to

I got a lot out of this book! It gave me a new perspective on my own life and choices and how to better handle conflict and other’s disapproval. It was 100% worth purchasing!!

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Not sensitive to abuse survivors

The general message that you shouldn't blame toxic people for what they did to you as well as you shouldn't cut toxic people out of your life is off the wall ridiculous. As someone who was emotionally abused as a child, I finally got my power back when I cut out my narcissistic mother. And yes, I'm still angry at her; but I'm healing while still angry. The idea that the two can't coincide is quite ridiculous. Maybe the book got better but I couldn't get past a few chapters.

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Very helpful

I really loved this book. Shes right on point with my people pleasing personality. This book really helped me!

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