What a Time to Be Alone

By: Chidera Eggerue

Narrated by: Chidera Eggerue

Length: 1 hr and 21 mins

Publisher's summary

One of VOGUE's 6 Female Writers to Read in 2018

It's not always easy to find self-worth in a world that seems obsessed with telling us we're not good enough. Empowering, intimate and full of heart, this highly anticipated debut audiobook from the online sensation 'The Slumflower', aka Chidera Eggerue, the unstoppable force behind the groundbreaking movement #SAGGYBOOBSMATTER, is essential listening for all young women. It's time to take charge of your life.

In What a Time to Be Alone, The Slumflower will be your life guru, confidante and best friend. She'll show you that being alone is not just okay: it's just about the best freaking thing that's ever happened to you. As she says, 'You're bad as hell and you were made with intention.' It's about time you realised. Peppered with insightful Igbo proverbs from Chidera's Nigerian mother and narrated by the author, this audiobook will help you to navigate the modern world. We can all decide our own fates, and Chidera shows us how, using a three-part approach filled with sass, wisdom and charm.

Learn how to celebrate you - decide your self-worth, take time to heal and empower yourself in this messy world.

Don't worry about them - avoid other people's demons and realize that everyone is protecting themselves from something - no matter how aggressive their method.

Feel the togetherness in US - sustain and grow healthy relationships and avoid toxicity in your friendships.

Own your story. Create your own narrative. Listen to this audiobook. #WATTBA

©2018 Chidera Eggerue (P)2019 W.F. Howes Ltd

Critic reviews

"Categorically one of the coolest women in Britain." (Cosmopolitan)

"The Millennial Mastermind." (ELLE)

LOVE IT!!

Young Miss Chidera is the wise, reasonable friend I wish I had 15 years ago. Is this book full of common sense? Maybe? Can you find similar information elsewhere? Yes.

But if you've ever experienced trauma, common sense isn't and the theory of self-care from other sources may not be accessible, so this book, be it audible, ebook, or hard copy, and the Slumflower Twitter and Instagram pages are a good place to start piecing yourself back together. Especially if you don't have access to a mental health care practitioner or are not in a place where searching for one will be productive.

I thank her truly for putting herself out there, taking abuse from online jerks who seek to diminish her, and sharing her insights, becoming a gateway to getting folks to know ourselves more honestly.

Author appears very bias toward certain races

I was expecting to hear about fixing self-confidence and becoming more independent. However, the author threw in numerous snip bits about race, white privilege, and bias toward even the police. I was very unsatisfied and upset that I spent my money on this book :(...

Starts off as relatable, melts down into a cliche

I've been having a hard time with covid so I thought I'd pick up reading a new book every week. I've read a few good ones about anxiety and overcoming internal and external struggles. This book starts off as relatable and quirky like that friend at work who never gives up but over time I realized "Oh right I'm reading crappy self help books because I'm depressed and working too much to actually relax". I mean no Ill will to the author of course or her identity, I just put this audio book on while gardening to pretend I'm taking care of myself. This author sounds like an insecure and overly sensitive person sometimes, it's like when teenagers try giving me unprompted life advice I already know. At some point the author says something along the lines of "Avoid all people that don't make you happy or don't put you first", it sounds like self help advice but the people around us weren't born to make us happy or meet all of our needs. We can't be absolute loners just because our standards are too high and as we get older our friends focus more on their careers instead of the "best way to be a non-toxic person". everyone has toxic qualities and I don't think avoiding everyone for not being perfect is the solution for your own happiness. This is probably the dumbest review you'll ever read but it's impossible to socialize in this current generation, I'm only 21 but sometimes I talk to people my age and it feels like they're 15 because they're taking advice like this to the heart.
I too avoid too many people and I too have high expectations, these expectations have plagued my entire life and I couldn't make friends because I was too busy "avoiding all toxic people". every person around you is toxic, we don't all live in the suburbs where we can just pick and choose which vanilla rich family will join us for a backyard yoga session. I grew up on the streets where friends were not some choice to make. when I heard the advice "Avoid everyone who gives you bad energy" it reminds me of every white person that will absolutely cut you off if you disagree with them about food choices. friends are a privelege, friends are human and friendship is a crop that takes effort to grow. nobodies absolutely dying to get into your exclusive bubble because there's hundreds of other people that don't pretend to be a celebrity every time someones nice to them. again this review was due to my concern for the lack of socializing and communicating in modern society, especially to the white people that will take this book and run to the extremes with it.

This book mostly just feels like someones trying to vent about their past life without naming the specific details, the advice lacks nuance and in general sounds very angry. not very inspirational, it's like grabbing drinks with my sister and listening to her rant all day about vague things so she can avoid talking about her real problems and crying in front of the bartender. I've written books like that in the past so I understand, the only knowledge we have are our own experiences which can be very specific, unhelpful, and narrow.

I really wanted to give this book 5-4 stars because you know "girl power" but it really did feel like a toxic vibe coming over my soul and making me feel like a teenager was venting about her two week boyfriend to me. The vibe and advice is just off , it's not as positive as I thought it would be.

This book could've been a lot more too, like how exercise and eating healthy will literally change your brains structure to help you learn better, become stronger and be less anxious. but no the author straight up listed "Remember that you can pee and that's really amazing" as a self esteem fixing mechanism.

from the book I sh_t you not she says "Peeing is a very complex process and the fact that you do it is amazing". While I was gardening I was laughing, not because this take was funny but because this was such a low attempt at being inspirational and helpful. I might as well write a book myself after 5 shots of rum,I still wouldn't write something like this and brand it as inspirational. that's like saying "You can breathe, that's pretty amazing right? your self esteem problems are solved now". instead the author could've talked about how the individuals expectations are too high due to societies standards of perfection, there are studies that show when a skinny woman is on television the risk of a viewer getting an eating disorder increases due to insecurity and that men didn't like the skinnier actors to begin with. Which would've been a better example of "You're amazing, stop overthinking things" rather than "You pee so therefore you're amazing". I just don't see it's appeal or relevance. I felt like this book was written by a teenager and sometimes I felt like it was written by a straight up child.

regardless of this slightly bad review I will be reading her other books because I heard they were pretty good and I have no doubt that this author is good at writing about other things (besides pee and excluding everyone in your path until you're a hermit)

YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO THIS

10/10 would recommend it’s so good everything she has to say has value and I loved every minute of it! I feel like anyone can learn from this truly so so good

WOW.

Absolutely recommend. Completely relatable, Wonderfully composed, and extremely helpful. I couldn’t put it away! I saved so many things to do or understand to be the person I want to be.

Very remedial

This book felt like a bunch of affirmations and would possobly be good for someone early in their self improvement journey.

I feel so valid!!

Honestly I was expecting to hear something new and mind blowing but it wasn't intense at all. It made me hold myself accountable in the most gentle way possible. Now, I feel more secure about recent decisions I've made in an effort to live a happy life. Thank you so much for this.

Quote after quote..

This books summary sounded good but when I started listening to it, it’s written like a 12 year old wrote it. It just sounds like someone reading quote after quote. The different points/messages jumped all over the place. It was so bad I couldn’t even finish it. DO NOT BUY!

Amazing listen

There were a lot of topics discussed that I didn’t know I needed! I saw myself in many of the scenarios given so I’m happy I found this !

I am breathless

I honestly needed this book I feel things have been put into a better perspective for me. I’m happy to receive the wisdom and attempt to love myself more and forgive myself more

I really wanted to like this

But it's just not good. It's so disjointed and sounds like a book of "inspirational" quotes are being read out. There was a lot of contradictions too, it ended up making me quite frustrated because of how contradictory it was. I tried several times to listen to this in case it was me, trying to sit in my discomfort to see if it was because I didn't like what was being said for another reason but there was nothing deeper to it. It's just not my kind of advice. I enjoyed the author bringing in proverbs from her childhood, and appreciated her opening up more opportunities to think about the things she brought up in terms of race and white privilege.

I appreciate what the author is trying to do, for people who are just starting out on their journey then this might be an OK stepping stone but it lacked substance for me and didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. I gave it 1 star because I couldn't even finish it and given the choice I would return it. I hope you find more from it than I did.

A lot of motivational quotes and not much else

I need start with a disclaimer: I bought the book on an impulse in the most recent sale and expected it to be about the growing culture of people staying single. My fault entirely, I should have read more about the book pre-purchase. To make a long story short - I am likely not the target audience.

What the title is actually about, is that it is okay to be alone, because no one fulfils your high standards of what a friend should be and provide. Maybe that premise speaks to you, it didn’t speak to me. The contents is structured very loosely and worded as definite instructions with no wiggle room. The whole thing is incredibly impersonal, just a set of instructions which very much resemble one line quotes you’ll find on a setting-sun-background on Instagram. If you think that that sounds very shallow as a book, you’d be correct.

Going beyond that though, I even struggled with the advice given. For one it seems to be predominantly centred on a religious belief that “everything is as it should be” and “if something doesn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be and there is a reason”. The author also left little room for accepting criticism, repeating multiple times that people criticising you or leaving you as a friend are saying more about their own issues than about you, which doesn’t feel like a healthy mindset to me. Furthermore, I was not a fan of the statement that being around people just for fun isn’t what you should be doing - you should instead be working on your goals. I could go on, but I’m sure you get the idea. Putting yourself first is great, but it can’t be your only doctrine.

I did get the impression that the author has had a lot of bad things happen to her, which got her to the place she is at now, and I feel if she had given more context and shared more of what she went through, this would be a much better book. Sadly, as it is now, I can’t give more than one star.

Although there are many valid points, not sure

I would honestly say that this book has so many encouraging and motivational points, however there are some slightly narcissistic undertones in this which one should be careful and aware of when reading. Honestly I would say that this is a social problem more than just this author however I felt uncomfortable with some of the messages that were put across in this book.

great great great

loved it, finished with ease. will read many times I'm sure. recommended for anyone. Africa stand up!

Everything I needed to hear

This is a book that spoke to me like a good friend who wants to See me shine but sees me doing too much for others. I read it twice. Will read it again and again. I will also pass it on but make my friends buy it so my queen can get her coin!!!

So many Pearl's of wisdom

Concise but bursting with timeless wisdom. Will definitely be relistening soon & also recommending to my friends & my niece. A beautiful coming of age book or an affirming life refresh. I think this is one of those books that I will get something different from each time I listen to it.

Breakup

Listened to it while going through a very hard breakup.
Her words are so powerful, helpful and I've gotten so many insights from it.
Thank you Chidera for spreading the word.

beautiful and enlightening!

I feel empowered and confidence. beautifully read and so many wise words to take on board.

Empowering and bold!

Loved the honestly and delivery of the author, would recommend this book. Fantastic quick listen and she doesn't mess about trying to fill the space. I loved that she spoke the proverbs and then translated it.

This is not a book. This is a virus.

Every time a book finishes this one pops up. I can’t find a way to delete it from my library and it’s just a nuisance that they have to put with, but feel reluctant to believe that this is the best that audiobook can do in order to annoy the customer.