Validation

How the Skill Set That Revolutionized Psychology Will Transform Your Relationships, Increase Your Influence, and Change Your Life

De: Caroline Fleck PhD

Narrado por: Caroline Fleck PhD

"Warning: this book will make you a better parent, partner, colleague, and friend." —Adam Grant, New York Times bestselling author of Hidden Potential

Unlock the secret to true and lasting change.

We all spend a lot of energy trying to get people to listen to us, and despite our best efforts, we often fail. But what if the secret to influencing others was to demonstrate acceptance?

Enter validation—communication where one accepts and sees the validity in another person’s experience. Research on validation shows that it has profound effects, from improving relationships and de-escalating conflicts to increasing one’s influence and self-compassion. In this groundbreaking book, clinical psychologist Caroline Fleck explores how validation’s unique ability to demonstrate acceptance while fostering change makes it one of psychotherapy’s best-kept secrets. More importantly, she takes us step-by-step through eight skills we can use to communicate validation and experience its power firsthand.

Full of captivating stories, laugh-out-loud moments, and actionable takeaways, Validation reveals how the science of seeing and being seen is the key to inner and interpersonal transformation.


* This audiobook edition includes a downloadable PDF featuring visuals from the book.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2025 Caroline Fleck (P)2025 Penguin Audio

Reseñas de la Crítica

“As an engineer, I appreciate when complex human dynamics can be broken down into practical, actionable steps. Dr. Fleck has done exactly that with validation—a skill that, when mastered, becomes nothing short of a superpower. It’s like gaining access to a cheat code for human interaction—one that actually works. Whether you’ve got more of an engineering mindset that appreciates clear frameworks or are simply looking to improve your relationships, Validation delivers results while keeping you thoroughly entertained along the way.”—Mark Rober, founder of CrunchLabs

“Dr. Caroline Fleck reminds us that being present, listening, suspending judgment, and really hearing someone is the greatest gift we can give or receive. There is such magic in validation, and Dr. Fleck shines a light on something that can enliven our sense of possibility and self.”—Dr. Ramani Durvasula, New York Times bestselling author of It’s Not You

“Profound, important, compassionate, Validation took my breath away. I can’t remember the last time I read a book as beautifully crafted and immediately useful. Author Caroline Fleck shares research-backed wisdom that can help you transform the most important relationships in your life—at work and at home.”—Amy C. Edmondson, Novartis Professor of Leadership, Harvard Business School, and author of Right Kind of Wrong

Validation for this book

Dr. Fleck has written a very relevant and helpful book about the importance of validation in all of our lives. Insight regarding ways to validate others and ourselves is communicated in a very helpful &’personal manner. This is a must-read book for anyone who wants to improve relationships with themselves and others

Authentic - relatable

Really appreciate Dr.Fleck to share her personal story, trials and her journey into her research and lifework. This helps me to connect with what she’s teaching and sharing. Her sense of humor and realness are great to make this easy to listen and learn from

Great book. So informational and interesting.

The author was able to relate to her reader. The reader is able to relate to the writer. This book provides information that we don't really think about and ways to use the information. It's a must read.

Clarity

There was much to like and learn here, even for a trained therapist. The style easy going and the examples are relatable. I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to sharpen their relationship skills!

The solution for this thwarted problem-solver

I LOVE solving problems. It's my favorite thing to do.

Unfortunately, my excellent problem solving skills seemed to be making communication and relationship issues worse.

This book gave a concrete foundation on how validation and how it is the missing ingredient that we all need to feel accepted.

It was amazing to see the tension release from a partner when I switched from problem solving a predicament to validating her experience.

A work of LOVE

Whilst I am not a behaviorist, Dr. Fleck offers a most practical guide for the general audience and professional alike. Highly recommended!
For almost 50 years, I always ask my patients in any encounter - “How can I help you?” and after reading this book; I will follow up by asking myself if the ask is— are my patients asking for validation or problem solving. The text is both useful and heartfelt.

Funny and relevant

Caroline Fleck is funny, humble, open, and realistic. I listened intently, and I think I should get the printed version so I can take notes and make sure this all really sinks in. I dated someone who tried to tell me a little about validation, but I didn’t really get it. So now that I understand how important it is and how bad I am at it, I wish I’d had this book years ago. I come from a long line of people who were never really validated, so I grew up focused on problem-solving, and found CBT useful, and only recently realized how much my habits of offering “support”, and worse, advice, could come off as invalidating. Dr. Fleck does a great job of illustrating what to do, and what not to do. My only (minor) quibble is the phrasing “you must feel ___”. Someone told me they didn’t like being told how they “must” feel, so I prefer to use the question phrasing, i.e. “Are you feeling ___?” Anyway, I enjoyed this book and Dr. Fleck’s reading, it’s truly a gift to the world. My heart goes out to her and her family as she’s coping with MS and breast cancer.

A Must read

What a profound idea and gift to those unfamiliar with emotional validation, including to those who experience neurodiversity personally or with family.

A must read for all humans

Conceptually, Validation is as simple and straightforward as The Golden Rule, and just as rare and elusive when you examine it, much less attempt to put it into practice. Which is to say it’s impossibly difficult for us to define or execute without a great deal of mindfulness and dedication given to evading our own judgements, fears, solipsism, and even proclivities to turn on ourselves, to then approach others (and ourselves) with a mindset that can lead to better outcomes than we’re likely used to. Dr. Fleck has written a book that makes that journey seem not only possible, but exciting to explore and maybe even fun!

The lack of Validation in our lives is one of the most modern problems we humans face, and Dr. Fleck approaches it with keen perception, exhaustive research, humor, vulnerability, and most importantly for we non-PhDs…relatability. This is a book for everyone, or anyone who is willing to explore how by embracing Validation skills you can improve every relationship in your life, increase your influence with others, and experience even the steepest challenges as opportunities for growth.

Filled with entertaining and sometimes heart-breaking anecdotes, Dr. Fleck illustrates how her methodologies, which anyone can engage, can give us tools to approach the conflicts and frustrations that can define our lives and make us feel alone, and instead improve both our perspectives and actions as well as those we’re closest to. Whether these conflicts happen at work, at study, with family, or in our intimate relationships, she provides logical and emotionally grounded approaches and practice exercises to make Validation part of your life and philosophy.

I’ve already recommended this book to others, and will certainly read it again. You’ll want to read more from this author after experiencing with her the complicated road she’s traveled to bring us this wisdom, and you’ll be inspired to take the first step.