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Things Were Easier Before You Became a Giant F-----g Mantis
- Narrated by: Robert "Rein" Ramsay
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
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Things Were Easier Before You Became a Giant F-----g Mantis
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“You’ll never look at a mantis the same way again. Especially if you intend to fuck or marry it.” (Sean Hawker, Author of The Captive Dwarf)
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By: Kenya Wright
-
The Importance of Being Alice
- By: Katie MacAlister
- Narrated by: Saskia Maarleveld, Brian Hutchison
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 215
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 196
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 195
Nothing about Alice Wood's life is normal right now. Her fiancé Patrick called off their wedding and relationship only days before their nonrefundable wedding trip. And though a luxurious European river cruise for one is just what she needs, it's not what she gets... Due to a horrible misunderstanding, Alice is now cramped in her "romantic" suite with one of Patrick's friends.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Simply Dreadful
- By Elizabeth on 02-09-15
By: Katie MacAlister
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Ramen Assassin
- By: Rhys Ford
- Narrated by: Kale Williams
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 441
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 411
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 411
Instead, he’s dodging bullets and wondering how the hell he ended up back in the Black Ops lifestyle he left behind him. After rescuing former child star Trey Bishop from a pair of thugs in the middle of the night, he knows it’s time to pick up his gun again. But it seems trouble isn’t done with Trey, and Kuro can’t quite let go...of either the gun or Trey Bishop.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Another excellent story by Rhys Ford and narrating by Kale Williams
- By Kindle Customer on 09-15-19
By: Rhys Ford
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Forgotten: Luca
- The Four, Book 1
- By: Sloane Kennedy
- Narrated by: Michael Dean
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 280
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 264
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 264
I left him behind because I had no choice.... That's what I keep telling myself, but it doesn't make it any easier to sleep at night...or to drown out the words he kept repeating over and over the day we'd met: I just want to go home. That was eight long years ago and I'd only known him as Billy, a terrified 14-year-old I'd had to leave behind to save someone else. But his name wasn't Billy and he's no longer a frightened kid lost in a world where he was nothing more than a possession.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Disjointed and unoriginal
- By MzBond on 05-05-20
By: Sloane Kennedy
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Under the Water
- By: Paul Pen, Simon Bruni - translator
- Narrated by: James Daniels
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 113
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 100
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Story4 out of 5 stars 99
From the outside, Frank and Grace seem to have the perfect family. He’s a loving husband, she’s a devoted wife, and together they have two happy children. But appearances can be deceiving. A strange series of misfortunes has left them reeling: an unexplained break-in, a catastrophic handgun accident, and a bizarre poisoning that’s left Grace feeling especially unnerved. Packing up their RV for a move across the country, they’re ready for a fresh start, expecting to leave all their problems safely behind.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good syuff
- By Kindle V C on 10-12-19
By: Paul Pen, and others
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Sundered
- By: Shannon Mayer
- Narrated by: Heather Firth, Jamie Renell
- Length: 7 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 35
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 32
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Story5 out of 5 stars 31
My name is Mara, and I want desperately to become a mother. All of my dreams were dashed when the world was promised hope but instead became a place of danger, death...and monsters. Nevermores, human but feral and lethal creatures with a thirst for flesh, have arisen from the ashes of human hope. Now co-inhabitants in this new world, I am gaining ground in my understanding of them just as I am forced to face a new threat from the local militia.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Why?
- By Lisa Konkel on 12-16-20
By: Shannon Mayer
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Permanent Midnight
- A Memoir (20th Anniversary Edition)
- By: Jerry Stahl, Nic Sheff - foreword
- Narrated by: Jerry Stahl, Scott Merriman
- Length: 11 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 72
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 70
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 69
A searing confessional infused with the darkest humor, Permanent Midnight chronicles the opiated abyss of a Hollywood screenwriter and his formidable climb into sobriety. Made into a major motion picture starring Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, Permanent Midnight is revered by critics and an ever-growing cult of devoted fans as one of the most compelling contemporary memoirs.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Point deduction for the recording
- By Amazon Customer on 11-21-20
By: Jerry Stahl, and others
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Born a Crime
- Stories from a South African Childhood
- By: Trevor Noah
- Narrated by: Trevor Noah
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 213,462
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 193,156
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Story5 out of 5 stars 192,185
In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great book and perfect narration
- By MarilynArms on 12-15-16
By: Trevor Noah
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Hot White Heist 2
- By: Adam Goldman
- Narrated by: Bowen Yang, Jane Lynch, Cynthia Nixon, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 38 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 266
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 259
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 259
Two years after successfully melting down the top secret sperm bank under the Space Needle, the CLITO collective (Community of Lesbians Inclusive To Others) is thriving on their newly acquired private island, Lesbos 2. All is well in their queer utopia. Or is it? Investigative reporter Sarah Keebler (Sarah Steele) is piecing together the crew's previous heist for her bombshell true-crime podcast–and getting dangerously close to the truth.
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5 out of 5 stars
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AS FUN AS SEASON1
- By Robert on 03-07-24
By: Adam Goldman
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Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 18,581
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 16,615
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 16,590
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
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4 out of 5 stars
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Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 17,221
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 15,692
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Story4 out of 5 stars 15,626
Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,097
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 973
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Story4 out of 5 stars 969
Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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3 out of 5 stars
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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Green Wing: Resuscitated
- By: Victoria Pile, James Henry, Oriane Messina, and others
- Narrated by: Oliver Chris, Olivia Colman, Pippa Haywood, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 17 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 5
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 4
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Story5 out of 5 stars 4
They’re back! The all-star cast multi-award-winning cult hit comedy returns, with more surreal goings-on in the lives and loves of the doctors and staff at East Hampton Hospital (warning: contains very little medical content).
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderful to hear these voices again
- By LucilleB on 05-03-24
By: Victoria Pile, and others
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Yellow Face
- A Semi-autobiographical Comedy
- By: David Henry Hwang
- Narrated by: Daniel Dae Kim (CK), Ashley Park, Wendell Pierce, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 44 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 8
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 4
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 4
Winner of an Obie and a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize, and directed by Tony nominee Leigh Silverman, Yellow Face is as timely as ever, wrestling with issues of cultural appropriation, complicity, and artistic freedom. It’s brought to life in this audio-only revival by a stunning all-star cast (many playing themselves) led by Daniel Dae Kim.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Funny, great audible performance, and good dialogue.
- By Ed the Canadian on 05-04-24
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 55,725
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 50,205
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 49,949
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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Cut and Thirst
- A Short Story
- By: Margaret Atwood
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 1 hr and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3 out of 5 stars 14
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Performance3.5 out of 5 stars 14
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 14
Myrna, Leonie, and Chrissy meet every Thursday to sample fine cheeses, to reminisce about their former lives as professors, and lately, to muse about murder. Decades ago, a vicious cabal of male poets contrived—quite publicly and successfully—to undermine the writing career, confidence, and health of their dear friend Fern. Now, after Fern has taken a turn for the worse, her three old friends decide that it’s finally time to strike back—in secret, of course, since Fern is far too gentle to approve of a vendetta.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Cheesy
- By Mary Ellen on 05-04-24
By: Margaret Atwood
What listeners say about Things Were Easier Before You Became a Giant F-----g Mantis
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amanda
- 01-26-23
hilarious from start to finish
This book is so ridiculous but keeps you laughing. Definitely not work friendly if you listen to audiobooks while you work.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Crystal C
- 01-24-23
So much fun!
Now this is one of the funniest stories I have ever had the pleasure to encounter. Kept me entertained from start to finish! This was weird af and I loved it! Clarke is a gem!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Lexie McDonough
- 08-02-23
bizarro horror with social commentary
Things Were Easier Before Youe Became a Giant Fucking Mantis by Matthew Clarke was another killer story that hits on social commentary. Bizarro horror with some very real hitting circumstances but with humans and praying mantises. This is just one you have to read to get. But when I finished it, I told Matt it kind of reminded me of American History X.....which he's never seen, and I'm still concerned about that. A story about internal bias, murder, racism, and a hate group. If you're like me and enjoy the social commentary in your horror pick this up ASAP.
Narrated by Robert "Rein" Ramsay was perfect. One of those narrators who really keep you enthralled in the story. I hope to hear more from him.
I received this audiobook for free in return for an honest review.
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