The Science of Self Talk: How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence and Stop Getting in Your Own Way

Positive Psychology Coaching Series, Book 18
Narrated by: Randy Streu
Length: 1 hr and 37 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (79 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Talking to ourselves - and learning to listen

We all speak to ourselves on a daily basis. Whether it’s out loud or an internal (or infernal) commentary, we all practice self-talk, and how we speak to ourselves can have a significant effect on our emotions and subsequent actions.

Some people’s self-talk is mostly about the future while, for others, it’s an internal dialogue about the past. Some self-talk is positive and upbeat, while other self-talk is harsh, critical, or defeatist. Self-talk can focus on other people, but, more often than not, it is about ourselves - and is often negative.

If you listen carefully, you’ll notice that your inner conversation reflects thoughts and emotions. Self-talk isn’t random. It exhibits patterns that repeat themselves. And everyone has their own characteristic self-talk that is uniquely theirs.

In The Science of Self Talk, mindfulness expert Ian Tuhovsky explains how we can rewrite the script when it comes to our internal communication. Through a series of simple exercises for use in daily life, you can understand your own self-talk in order to change the conversation.

This unique book covers:

  • Constructive self-talk and dysfunctional self-talk - and knowing the difference
  • The impact of negative self-talk
  • Learned helplessness
  • Positive self-talk - challenge or threat?
  • The Pareto Principle which says that, for many events, roughly 80 percent of the effects come from 20 percent of the causes
  • Creating the right circumstances for motivation
  • Getting to know yourself
  • Loving yourself - emotional intelligence
  • Turning down the volume on your self-talk

Self-talk is a little like turning on the director’s commentary on a movie. You can simply watch the movie, or you can add in commentary about what’s happening in it - this is, in a nutshell, what most of us do in our daily lives. The Science of Self Talk can help you to rewrite the script of your movie and improve the way that you - and others - see yourself.

©2018 Ian Tuhovsky (P)2018 Ian Tuhovsky

What listeners say about The Science of Self Talk: How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence and Stop Getting in Your Own Way

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Enjoyable

I enjoyed this audiobook. The writing was easy to follow and the narrator presented that well. Useful tactics. Cheers!

3 people found this helpful

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Good Overview of Subject Matter

I have done a lot of research in this area lately. I feel the book was a digestible summary of the basic concepts for someone who has not thought about negative self talk much. I liked the suggestion to think of your inner thoughts as some type of "Crazy Uncle Joe." That kind of helped me re-frame the voice and not take it so seriously. The book is a good starter pack for an average interested reader.

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The best book ever. Knowledgeable straight forward and very easy to understand

This book is incredible...I started feeling better just by listening to the content...I keep listening the book several times after the first day even repeated the characters. I would recommend purchasing this book!!! Best ever. Straight forward and simple ideas.

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This helped my negative thinking so much. <br /><br /><br /><br />

The part about labelling negative dialogue and family members was great. A great read. Straight to the point. Relatable and honest.

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It never answered my question of self talk

I thought this book was good but I was more looking for a book that was based on what self talk really is. I wanted to understand where it comes from the brain how it was trained and where did those thoughts come from but they’re not part of my conscious awareness.This book is not bad though it’s more of a motivational book to get you into positive thinking I want to change my thinking so this isn’t what I was really looking for

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Liked it...

It was very informative. Oftentimes you need to hear certain things from a different perspective to put it all together...

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Leveling Up

Found what I was searching for. Amazing, buying all Ian's audiobooks and ebooks on kindle

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2nd time listening to this in 2 days.

This is the BEST- BEST SHORT LISTEN out there. It is like the missing piece of a puzzle I needed to enter the next stage of growth.

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Another winner

Another great listen from Ian Tuhovsky! After finishing his book on mindfulness, I wanted to hear more. This book was full of small, practical changes we can make to improve and understand our self talk. I highly recommend.

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Useful

I found the information to be helpful. I didn't do the exercise in chapter 2, because I know very well what my negative thought categories are. But, I think overall the book is useful and provides a practical approach to changing one's inner dialogue to be more positive.

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  • smoothparishioner
  • 05-04-20

Clear, informative and highly recommended.

I have read several of Ian's books. Each one has one eureka moment after another. This is no different. I would recommend to anyone who is looking for real understanding on the subect.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 08-20-19

Excellent presentation. Some key learnings.

Thanks Ian. I got a few key points from this. The idea of third person thinking or a comical figure saying my thoughts, not me. And filtering, realised I only think of the negative. I will be listening to more of your books on audible. David

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 02-27-19

Inspiring, easy listening and funny

Ian has a great reading voice and a great way of explaining things. His audio book is humorous in its truthfulness which I really appreciate. Looking forward to the next one!

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  • Kindle Customer
  • 05-10-19

A must read


It's an easy, short read and if you get the audible version, the narrator is one of the best I've heard. If you're going through depression and/or anxiety and the little voice inside your heard is running your life, this book really makes you aware of your bad habits. Already I've started to break the patterns.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 02-07-20

helpful

lots of self-help stuff has too much BS for me. This book is straightforward and practical without too much bunk.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 06-04-19

Wow! Fantastic!

I have just listened to this book in one sitting. I followed all of the suggested exercises and plan to do them again and again with greater depth.

I have always thought that it would be impossible to rewrite my negative self-talk and now I am extremely inspired and feeling a lot more positive and confident, that it can be done.

This book offered great examples which would relate to everyone in some way, with practical ideas on how to change your thinking and become the better version of yourself, which you deserve. Thank you!

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 04-13-19

Loved this...

I enjoyed this...It's up there with Joseph Murray's book about the same topic.
I shared this with a good friend...