The Other Side of Sadness

What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss

By: George A. Bonanno

Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross

In this thoroughly revised and updated classic, a renowned psychologist shows that mourning is far from predictable, and all of us share a surprising ability to be resilient
The conventional view of grieving--encapsulated by the famous five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance--is defined by a mourning process that we can only hope to accept and endure.
In The Other Side of Sadness, psychologist and emotions expert George Bonanno argues otherwise. Our inborn emotions--anger and denial, but also relief and joy--help us deal effectively with loss. To expect or require only grief-stricken behavior from the bereaved does them harm. In fact, grieving goes beyond mere sadness, and it can actually deepen interpersonal connections and even lead to a new sense of meaning in life.

Critic reviews

"Perhaps the most renowned grief researcher in the United States ... Bonanno's work ... has redefined the science of grief research."—The Atlantic

"Fascinating and readable ... a sensitive and sensible view of loss."—New York Times

"A deep and intelligent book.... It's heartening to discover that grieving is not 'work,' we don't have to be successful at it, and we're stronger than we know."—Double X, Slate

"This is a valuable book for Bonanno's application of the scientific method to a field that badly needs it."—New Scientist

"The Other Side of Sadness is a game changer. Bonanno carefully assembles scientific evidence to show that most of what we thought we knew is just plain wrong. If you want to know the truth about the human experience of loss, there's only one book on the shelf."—Daniel Gilbert, professor of psychology, Harvard University, and author of Stumbling on Happiness

"Bonanno, the most productive and influential bereavement researcher in America today, has changed the scientific landscape in the field of grief and bereavement."—Camille Wortman, Professor of Psychology, Stony Brook University

"Brilliant and moving."—Dacher Keltner, professor of psychology, University of California, Berkeley, and author of Born to Be Good

"The Other Side of Sadness paints a refreshingly new and scientifically-grounded portrait of the grieving process, one infused with positivity, laughter, and enduring bonds. Anyone interested in the emotional nuances of the human condition will value this warm, engaging, and accessible book."—Barbara L. Fredrickson, Ph.D., Kenan Distinguished Professor, University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill and author of Positivity

"George Bonanno's ground-breaking research on grief illuminates mankind's profound capacity for resilience, and shows us how to find meaning in life after death."—Jim Whitaker, Founder and Director Project Rebirth

The audible version...

Troubling tone of voice, as if complicated bereavement were a stupid concept. It may be more agreeable to read the text but the vocal is very judgemental.
Some interesting ideas.

The antidote to pop science bogus fragility makers

Bonanno simply uncovers our innate capabilities to cope well and shatters the silly ill founded idea that we are fragile by nature.
Every young anxious person in the world should listen to it.

If you are suffering, this is not your book

Most people get over bereavement and traumas without professional help. Most people are resilient or highly resilient are the author’s well-documented points.

I’ve lost my husband in the last few months and have a hefty ACE (the author uses Potential Tramautic Event PTE) score. For the 15-25% who don’t just get over it, this book might make you feel worse. I agree with the author about not medicalizing normal human events, but neither our height-drama society or our for-profit healthcare system support a natural recovery.

If you have someone in your life who just needs to bounce back from death, trauma, etc. this book will help prove your point.