• The Mask of Masculinity

  • How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest Lives
  • By: Lewis Howes
  • Narrated by: Lewis Howes
  • Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
  • 4.6 out of 5 stars (1,872 ratings)

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The Mask of Masculinity

By: Lewis Howes
Narrated by: Lewis Howes
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Publisher's summary

Standing between you and the man you can be is one thing: The Mask of Masculinity.

Lewis Howes grew up as an athlete. He was a two-sport All-American, played almost every sport in high school, and went on to play football professionally. Howes then transferred his competitive nature from sports to business, building his podcast, The School of Greatness, into a global phenomenon and becoming successful beyond his wildest dreams. But his whole identity was built on misguided beliefs about what "masculinity" was: dangerous, false ideas learned from teammates and coaches in locker rooms and stereotypes in the media. Like so many men, Howes grew up to be angry, frustrated, and always chasing something that was never enough.

At 30 years old, outwardly thriving but unfulfilled inside, Howes began a personal journey to find inner peace and to uncover the many masks that men - young and old - wear: by asking for advice from some of the world's best psychologists, doctors, and household names like Tony Robbins, Alanis Morissette, and Ray Lewis. That journey created this book - a must-listen for every man, and for every woman who loves a man.

In The Mask of Masculinity, Howes exposes the ultimate emptiness of the Material Mask, the man who chases wealth above all things; the cowering vulnerability that hides behind the Joker and Stoic Masks of men who never show real emotion; and the destructiveness of the Invincible and Aggressive Masks worn by men who take insane risks or can never back down from a fight.

He teaches men how to break through the walls that hold them back and shows women how they can better understand the men in their lives. It's not easy, but if you want to love, be loved, and live a great life, then it's an odyssey of self-discovery that all modern men must make.

©2017 Lewis Howes (P)2017 Lewis Howes

Featured Article: The Self-Development Listens Every Man Should Hear


While there’s no shortage of titles tackling men’s unique difficulties—from navigating relationships and building confidence to securing financial stability and coping with the exhausting expectations of masculinity—sorting through them all is daunting indeed. We’ve created this list of some of the best and most helpful self-help books for men—and trust us these selections can help create a lasting, meaningful impact for listeners of any gender.

What listeners love about The Mask of Masculinity

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    3 out of 5 stars

Nothing new for anyone over 35

I discovered this author by watching the YouTube channel "Impact Theory" and expected a lot more. The first listen thru, I thought maybe I spaced out and missed some important information. I went and gave it a second listen and that really comes down to there isn't a whole lot of meat in this sandwich. This might help your average 25 year old fresh-out-of-college teeming with testosterone, but anyone over 30-35 is really not going to get anything out of this book unless they have matured very slowly.

Who is this book for? That's a hard question. If you're in your 30s and still getting into fights in the bar or the court, maybe. If you're 40+ and still trying to pick up chicks at clubs full of college kids, most definitely.

I hate to dump on this author, he seems nice and genuine. But this book just didn't hold much value for your average adult male.

45 people found this helpful

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Time for an entire gender to be unmasked

Everybody wears a mask at some point in his or her life. According to studies, over 80% of adults struggle with the imposter syndrome, right now. The personal growth industry and self-help subculture can sometimes cloak the raw, honest, reality that haunts us all. Feelings of worthlessness, not measuring up, and pretending...these emotions infect everybody—including successful entrepreneurs.

I love what Lewis does in this book. He starts out, by unmasking his own journey. He doesn't stop there either. Using his own life as the example, he unmasks masculinity as a whole. He dares to address stereotypes, myths, and facades that many men hide behind. Dissecting this book helps us all understand the pressures, stressors, and stakes for being a true man. Thanks Lewis for taking yet another risk, the risk of digging deep inside ourselves.

24 people found this helpful

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A must read for all men.

I really liked this book. I think Lewis did a great job in Pointing out the different mask. I myself have wore more than one mask as a teen and young adult. I noticed after high school how the way I acted and behaved was very much like different masks in this book. I wish I could have read thus when I was 18. 28 years old now now I have taken off some mask. This books tells it like it is from boys in the locker room to on the field. Men as a society have been conditioned to wear these mask and limit there full potential. As a father, I would recommend all dads read this and begin to understand how we can expose these mask and raise a more compassionate, honest, loving society of Great men.

Thank you Lewis & team

13 people found this helpful

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MUST READ FOR MEN AND WOMEN

I’m a female, and this was the best, most enlightening book I’ve read in a long time. For me, I gained an understanding for men and tips with how to help them become their best. For men, I think this gives true insight into becoming their most authentic self. Must MUST read.

12 people found this helpful

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A must for women too!

I learned sooo much about how and why a man operates the way he does. This is absolutely essential for women in or looking for a relationship. Will clarify SO much!

10 people found this helpful

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Here's What's Wrong With You - The End

I really loved the idea of this book. What is here is great, but it's missing a few final chapters: the solution, and resolution. He does a great job telling us what's wrong but then the book ends without giving any actionable tips!?

7 people found this helpful

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Perspective we all should start adapting.

I loved the audible in the car while driving to and from work. Really helped me through a rough patch. Just hearing Lewis read his own work really provided that level of relating to what he has found and the information he is trying to convey. Totally recommend for every adult in this day and age.

6 people found this helpful

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I only lasted 45 minutes...

until I started crying. Such an awaking message Lewis shares. already listening to it for a second time.

6 people found this helpful

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A great study on the value of taking off masks

Lewis identifies masks men can be prone to wear with anecdotal examples from both Lewis's and others lives.  Lewis does a good job of explaining that while those masks can help you achieve, or protect, or be seen a certain way, they can also harm oneself, one's loved ones, and society.  Mainly it shows the value in removing those masks and the gift of leaning into vulnerability and authenticity.   As a female reader I appreciated his thoughts on how women can support men in taking off the masks.   As a mom of a boy it helped me understand what pressures and challenges he may have to put on these masks.  In our #metoo era I'm very interested in coming into deep understanding of both sexes.  Without deep understanding it will be more challenging to truly change our culture.  Bravo Lewis Howes on this deep dive.

5 people found this helpful

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Pure Greatness! I have been a School of Greatness

I have been a school of greatness podcast listener since the summer of 2016. No amount of words can tell you how valuable this book is to whomever is a fan of Lewis Howes work. Even if you've never gotten a chance listen to anything of his you owe yourself a favor and buy this audiobook. I heard about his new release through his podcast and just the way he descibed what he was going to talk about in his book, I knew it was going to good but not this good. As soon as I turned in on and heard his voice it was as if I was listening to Lewis's podcast, but more storytelling like. Like he says in the preface this isn't a self help book by any means. If I was to describe it as anything I would call it a self healing book, looking at where you are in life, what type of life you've lived or are living, and how to fill in those how did this happen moment's. All men and women really do need to read about this book that explains in depth how everyone wears masks for the greater of good and evil. We all have worn a mask at some point in our life or are still wearing one to this day. The question is which mask will you take off after reading this book?

5 people found this helpful

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  • BigSpender
  • 12-15-18

Insightfull

As a female teacher, I know how to talk to girls in order to build them up. This book has helped me reflect on how I should talk to the boys in the classroom and the men in my life. I also like the fact that I find parallels with my life, in the sense that both sexes suffer when language is repeated, and not properly processed, in communicating expectation. Thank you for writing it.

2 people found this helpful

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  • sam
  • 04-15-18

very good

great listen. refreshingly honest and made me realise a lot about myself that I wasn't even aware of

1 person found this helpful

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  • Mr B
  • 06-27-23

Empowering and liberating book.

This book should be read (or listened to) by everyone. The more
Men realise what it really takes to be your authentic self the happier, safer and fulfilled they will be. The understanding of the masks we wear and hide behind can enable a journey of self realisation that can remove the shackles and free you to be who you really are not who you think you should be. Great book highly recommended.

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  • Dianne
  • 01-21-23

Every man (and woman) should read this!

Truly made me feel like I understand where men are coming from more now. Loved how each chapter digs into different parts of the male mind. Will recommend for anyone with a brother, boyfriend, male friend, coworkers who are male, or simply wants to understand themselves more.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 06-09-22

Literally what I needed!

I feel that 95% of men could relate in some way to the majority of the masks and some of the content Lewis provides. I really enjoyed it! That may be because I needed the hear some of it at the time I did, but make the judgement for yourselves. Enjoy the results👍🏼

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  • Arjun
  • 06-06-22

Must Read For ALL *REAL* MEN

For the men who are strong enough to see reality for what it is, this book is a must read.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 03-29-21

Super important to fast forward evolution of men

Loved every second of it. I gained lots of insights about myself and men.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 02-28-21

Great book!!

I feel this is a amazing book both for women and men. It helps to think about the different mask that men may be hiding behind and how you can empower men and support them to feel that they matter.

Women if you are reflecting on previous relationships must read. Mums raising boys much read.
Men struggling to find a voice or understand self or other around you must read!!

I really enjoyed listening to this book found it empowering and lots of good points.

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  • Benobeone
  • 09-19-20

an important book

Great book, an important book, the information within is out there already but fragmented, here it is brought together and expertly reconstructed to be relatable and easy to digest. I have struggled with many of the issues raised in this book and it has been a long and painful experience, I wish this book had been available to me as a younger man and hope that as many people but especially men as possible will read it and learn from it and pass that knowledge on, as I honestly believe that the world would be a safer, kinder place for everyone if they did.

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  • Rayder
  • 04-20-20

A Book every man should read

Thank you for this incredible book, a must for the man in our society today, great work!

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  • Anonymous User
  • 10-12-18

Not bad, not bad

This book has a good message, in its essence- vulnerability is courage. If you like this book
I would recommend Brene Browns The Power of Vulnerability which is amazinggggg. It goes over and beyond what is covered in this book.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Stacey Bout
  • 01-30-18

Awareness is key to change

Lewis touches on a topic that's becoming more and more important in society. Breaking it into easy to relate chapters (masks) with practical hints and real life examples, this book is a read for all who are looking to bring balance and awareness to the masculinity conversation and help create change.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-09-18

Great book

Was really happy with this book found it really well done I feel would suit any listener at any level of ones own awereness
Great read thank you :)

1 person found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 11-12-20

Every man needs to check this out!

we see these masks everywhere..
the intention is to protect. the reality tho is isolation and disconnect.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 09-23-20

A book all men should read

Such an insightful book. Taught me so much about what it means to be a man. It will no doubt help others who are exposed to toxic masculinity.

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  • Garth brewin
  • 05-03-19

Such beautiful man!

During listening to this book I found evwn more language to utilise in bwing able to share my journey into manhood.
I will be using much of it during the rite of passage journeys I am creatumg to take boys into conscious awakened men.

I have been a fan of Lewis for a long time and the reason I love him and this book so much is the absolute authenticity I hear in his interactions with the people around him and in the honesty with which he looks at his own failings in life.

Thank you Lewis for such a gem.

Yours truly, with absolute love and compassion

Garth Brewin

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  • Anonymous User
  • 12-13-18

Thank you lewis

Thank you Lewis for sharing this book. It has been a eye opener to a few personal issues that I have been denying and now am working through

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  • Andrew Lord
  • 11-20-18

Wished it never had to end!

Lewis is heartfelt, strong and authentic. Everything he inspires me to be through this book. I thoroughly enjoyed his last book, school of greatness but this one takes it to another level. I think Lewis would say the 2 books are completely different, but within the reading you cannot help but see how they are one narrative, one journey, one heart. I appreciate his openness and honesty and anyone who reads/listens to this book cannot help be inspired to live better.
Thanks Lewis.

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  • Liam Kelly
  • 09-29-18

listened 3 times!

this is a go to book for my job working with young people. I have now listened 3 times and have got significant things for my life too!

love the way Lewis writes and narrates

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  • George
  • 08-09-18

hm,

The way he invites women to come fix the man made me nauseous. I can't recommend this book further as to me seems like it implies the men are the core problem of our society. I think he doesn't cover deeper issues as the men's real given and expected value in the society, as the men is sacrificed on wars, he is forced to give away half of his goods in case of divorce or if a man goes his way he is categorized " not mature enough " , also as the fact that is addressed like the men only have those masks is very condescending in my books. I've meet plenty of women behaving like that too so it doesn't make sense to me to put all that in this form at all. yes , those masks are real, find myself wearing a few, if j were him I'd make a second edition of it with more studies , about men if he is only addressing them. I'd have a look in Rollo Tommasi's work and see if he gets a bit more from that too.