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The Likeability Trap
- How to Break Free and Succeed as You Are
- Narrated by: Alicia Menendez
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
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Publisher's summary
Be nice, but not too nice. Be successful, but not too successful. Just be likeable. Whatever that means?
Women are stuck in an impossible bind. At work, strong women are criticized for being cold, and warm women are seen as pushovers. An award-winning journalist examines this fundamental paradox and empowers listeners to let go of old rules and reimagine leadership rather than reinventing themselves.
Consider that even competent women must appear likeable to successfully negotiate a salary, ask for a promotion, or take credit for a job well done - and that studies show these actions usually make them less likeable. And this minefield is doubly loaded when likeability intersects with race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, and parental status.
Relying on extensive research and interviews, and carefully examined personal experience, The Likeability Trap delivers an essential examination of the pressure put on women to be amiable at work, home, and in the public sphere, and explores the price women pay for internalizing those demands. Rather than advising listeners to make themselves likeable, Menendez empowers them to examine how they perceive themselves and others and explores how the concept of likeability is riddled with cultural biases. Our demands for likeability, she argues, hinder everyone’s progress and power.
Inspiring, thoughtful, and often funny, The Likeability Trap proposes surprising, practical solutions for confronting the cultural patterns holding us back, encourages us to value unique talents and styles instead of muting them, and to remember that while likeability is part of the game, it will not break you.
Featured Article: The Best Self-Development Listens for Women
The best self-help audiobooks for women zero in on universal themes nearly every woman grapples with in her daily life. From body image issues and impossible beauty standards to the expectation that a woman should always be nice, women confront many forces that leave them fractured and hurt. In these listens, experts on self-help for women offer a healing balm to that pain with suggestions on how to introduce more self-love and self-acceptance.
What listeners say about The Likeability Trap
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- ksmith525
- 01-22-20
Not for me
I’ll preface this by stating that I’m a woman of color. So I’m used to walking into any situation aware that most people won’t like me. I was interested in this book because I was expecting to get more tools but instead it was more explaining what the Likeability trap is. The book seems more for an audience of white males or females to teach them what it is vs how to help women get past this trap. I thought the performance of the audiobook was good but I didn’t receive any new information to help me grow which is what I was looking for in this book.
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36 people found this helpful
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- A. Yoshida
- 12-28-19
Ask the question Compared to Who?
It's a collection of stories of discrimination against women, both overt and subtle. I suggest starting with Chapter 10, actions that can be taken by organizations and individuals to reduce discrimination. It helps reveal the bias we all have against women because of expectations that women be helpful and supportive (not driven and successful). A good advice from the book is instead of saying "the person is not a good fit" (which really means the person is not like me), focus on the results that she had achieved and the value she can bring to the organization/job/project. And for anyone (not just women) who had received subjective criticism like "too demanding" or "too emotional," ask the questions "compared to who" and "how has that impacted my results?" Too often, a behavior is given a pejorative label like "aggressive" for a woman, while that exact same behavior is admired in men and labeled "ambitious" and "determined."
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5 people found this helpful
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- Cecilia Haag
- 12-01-21
Get ready for another lecture on bias and lack of opportunities
The author reads the content and does a remarkable job. However, most of the book is spent lecturing you on readily available information regarding women in the workplace, biases, etc. By the time you get to content that could be helpful, I was pretty exhausted by the rhetoric. Not very empowering.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Rebecca Zimmer
- 02-15-20
Must Read
Learned so much about my own biases. Must read for women and anyone who manages women. I know this goes against the point of the book, but Alicia is just so likeable! There was one situation she was describing and I started to wonder who had sent her information about me.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Lauren M
- 09-20-23
Must read for all.
This isn’t just for the professional women. Book was brought to my attention from my works book club. So grateful to have read this book!
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- MGabriela Montes
- 02-12-23
nothing new
I was hoping for some pointers or anyone... it was basically just don't care
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- David Gettler
- 10-07-22
Great listening and learning
Alicia Menendez shares the tales and troubles faced by her and other modern women in the workforce. As a straught white male, I found it incredibly interesting (and depressing) to hear the horror stories, but it's important for men to hear and learn from books like and that we appreciate how hard it has been for women from day one through today. We can all learn valuable lessons from this book. Thanks for this terrific book, Alicia!
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- A. Cook
- 09-08-21
I kept hoping it would get better
This is a bit of an out of touch victim story. While there were some relatable scenarios illustrating the struggle we face as women in leadership roles, there were equally as many scenarios that were a stretch, painting women as victims of the patriarchy with no real solutions offered. The idea that we encourage women to bring their “whole” selves to work is awesome, but expecting to be effective with anyone while being bitchy, angry, moody, etc. is counterproductive and plain bad advice. Man or woman, nobody likes working with people who lead with those qualities. I’d have loved to see a personal development aspect, illustrating how to be more effective communicators and leaders rather than going victim to a rigged system.
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-31-21
Everyone needs to read this book!
I loved this book!! I really learned a great deal about the many challenges women face in navigating professional spaces and gained many new insights in how to talk about them. As a cis-gendered Black male, so much of the book resonated with my own experiences desperately wanting to be liked and watching my wife climb the rungs of corporate America to reach the top. "Tyranny of the shoulds" is now an active part of my lexicon as well as many other insights! I came away with many tangible action items that I will implement going forward to support women and other marginalized groups in my work. Alicia is a skillful writer and a great narrator, neither of which is an easy feat, but she handles both exceptionally well with ease and aplomb. Truly a joy to read/listen and hope to read more in the future!
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- morgan
- 05-11-21
Redundant and lacking
I had higher hopes for more insight on this topic, but the book felt flat, redundant and lacking a greater impact of meaning content.
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- S
- 01-09-23
Okay. Reaffirms some sad gender biases
Relatable book. Relatable stories. Sometimes I found it difficult to see how to solve the challenge, and am still not sure if there were any concrete tools to try and combat the leadership challenge that most women face.
Seems that we need to strap our seat belts on and settle in the knowledge that "it is what it is"? I'm not sure. I guess the idea is that for a lot of women there's a choice to make in each moment - do I choose to be seen as a leader or do I choose to be liked, because I can't have both.
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-
Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office (10th Anniversary Edition)
- Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers (A Nice Girls Book)
- By: Lois P. Frankel
- Narrated by: Lois P. Frankel
- Length: 8 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The New York Times bestseller, which for 10 years has been a must-have for women in business, is now completely revised and updated. In this new edition, internationally recognized executive coach Lois P. Frankel reveals a distinctive set of behaviors-over 130 in all-that women learn in girlhood that ultimately sabotage them as adults. She teaches you how to eliminate these unconscious mistakes that could be holding you back and offers invaluable coaching tips that can easily be incorporated into your social and business skills.
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Listen with a critical ear
- By Michelle on 12-15-18
By: Lois P. Frankel
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Permission to Screw Up
- How I Learned to Lead by Doing (Almost) Everything Wrong
- By: Kristen Hadeed, Simon Sinek - foreword
- Narrated by: Kristen Hadeed
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The inspiring, unlikely, laugh-out-loud story of how one woman learned to lead - and how she ultimately succeeded, not despite her many mistakes, but because of them. This is the story of how Kristen Hadeed built Student Maid, a cleaning company where people are happy, loyal, productive, and empowered, even while they're mopping floors and scrubbing toilets.
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Interesting, but a foul mouth
- By Sam Biggs on 12-23-17
By: Kristen Hadeed, and others
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More Than Enough
- Claiming Space for Who You Are (No Matter What They Say)
- By: Elaine Welteroth
- Narrated by: Elaine Welteroth, Adenrele Ojo
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
In this part-manifesto, part-memoir, the revolutionary editor who infused social consciousness into the pages of Teen Vogue explores what it means to come into your own - on your own terms. Throughout her life, Elaine Welteroth has climbed the ranks of media and fashion, shattering ceilings along the way. In this riveting and timely memoir, the groundbreaking journalist unpacks lessons on race, identity, and success through her own journey....
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Disappointing
- By Laurel Avenue on 01-25-20
By: Elaine Welteroth
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HBR's 10 Must Reads on Managing Yourself, Vol. 2
- HBR's 10 Must Reads Series
- By: Harvard Business Review
- Narrated by: Steve Menasche, Teri Schnaubelt
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Get more of the management ideas you want, from the authors you trust. With insights from leading experts, this book will inspire you to identify areas for personal growth; assess your strengths, work preferences, values, and contributions; build your skill set and stay relevant; develop learning agility; map out a plan for where you'd like your career to go - both short and long term; find fulfillment in your work; and prepare for your next opportunity.
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Not Volume 2
- By Amazon Customer on 05-30-21
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Lead from the Outside
- How to Build Your Future and Make Real Change
- By: Stacey Abrams
- Narrated by: Stacey Abrams
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
National leader Stacey Abrams has written the guide to harnessing the strengths of being an outsider and succeeding anyway. Leadership is hard. Convincing others - and yourself - that you are capable of taking charge and achieving more requires insight and courage. Lead from the Outside is the handbook for outsiders, written with an eye toward the challenges that hinder women, people of color, the working class, members of the LGBTQ community, and millennials ready to make change.
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Uplifting
- By Jean on 02-03-19
By: Stacey Abrams
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Power Moves
- How Women Can Pivot, Reboot, and Build a Career of Purpose
- By: Lauren McGoodwin
- Narrated by: Emily Bauer
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
With her popular website Career Contessa, Lauren McGoodwin built an audience of ambitious, professional, millennial women who thought they did everything right - they got the degree, the internship, and even the promotion - but still wondered why they felt stuck and unfulfilled. The first site of its kind to focus on the unique, complex aspects of women's careers, Career Contessa offers women the smart advice they deserve, in a voice that resonates. Power Moves is the essential handbook that helps professional women truly feel understood.
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Well Rounded Look at Careers
- By Shoshana McKinney on 11-05-20
By: Lauren McGoodwin
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Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office (10th Anniversary Edition)
- Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers (A Nice Girls Book)
- By: Lois P. Frankel
- Narrated by: Lois P. Frankel
- Length: 8 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The New York Times bestseller, which for 10 years has been a must-have for women in business, is now completely revised and updated. In this new edition, internationally recognized executive coach Lois P. Frankel reveals a distinctive set of behaviors-over 130 in all-that women learn in girlhood that ultimately sabotage them as adults. She teaches you how to eliminate these unconscious mistakes that could be holding you back and offers invaluable coaching tips that can easily be incorporated into your social and business skills.
-
-
Listen with a critical ear
- By Michelle on 12-15-18
By: Lois P. Frankel
-
Permission to Screw Up
- How I Learned to Lead by Doing (Almost) Everything Wrong
- By: Kristen Hadeed, Simon Sinek - foreword
- Narrated by: Kristen Hadeed
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The inspiring, unlikely, laugh-out-loud story of how one woman learned to lead - and how she ultimately succeeded, not despite her many mistakes, but because of them. This is the story of how Kristen Hadeed built Student Maid, a cleaning company where people are happy, loyal, productive, and empowered, even while they're mopping floors and scrubbing toilets.
-
-
Interesting, but a foul mouth
- By Sam Biggs on 12-23-17
By: Kristen Hadeed, and others
-
More Than Enough
- Claiming Space for Who You Are (No Matter What They Say)
- By: Elaine Welteroth
- Narrated by: Elaine Welteroth, Adenrele Ojo
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this part-manifesto, part-memoir, the revolutionary editor who infused social consciousness into the pages of Teen Vogue explores what it means to come into your own - on your own terms. Throughout her life, Elaine Welteroth has climbed the ranks of media and fashion, shattering ceilings along the way. In this riveting and timely memoir, the groundbreaking journalist unpacks lessons on race, identity, and success through her own journey....
-
-
Disappointing
- By Laurel Avenue on 01-25-20
By: Elaine Welteroth
-
HBR's 10 Must Reads on Managing Yourself, Vol. 2
- HBR's 10 Must Reads Series
- By: Harvard Business Review
- Narrated by: Steve Menasche, Teri Schnaubelt
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Get more of the management ideas you want, from the authors you trust. With insights from leading experts, this book will inspire you to identify areas for personal growth; assess your strengths, work preferences, values, and contributions; build your skill set and stay relevant; develop learning agility; map out a plan for where you'd like your career to go - both short and long term; find fulfillment in your work; and prepare for your next opportunity.
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Not Volume 2
- By Amazon Customer on 05-30-21
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Run to Win
- Lessons in Leadership for Women Changing the World
- By: Stephanie Schriock, Christina Reynolds, Kamala Harris - foreword
- Narrated by: Lisa Cordileone
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
From the president of EMILY's List, a playbook for women changing the world in politics, business, or any arena, with a foreword from Vice Presidential candidate Senator Kamala Harris. Run to Win is for all women who are looking to lead. Organized around the steps that EMILY's List coaches its candidates through (from deciding to run through celebrating victory), this book is full of essential lessons for any woman trying to succeed in a male-dominated field. Their arena is politics but their message is universal.
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It is what it is.
- By Ann on 05-31-21
By: Stephanie Schriock, and others
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The Likeability Factor
- How to Boost Your L-Factor and Achieve Your Life's Dreams
- By: Tim Sanders
- Narrated by: Stephen Hoye
- Length: 6 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The more you are liked, or the higher your likeability factor, the happier your life will be. This audiobook will show you how to raise that likeability factor by teaching you how to boost four critical elements of your personality.
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Good concept - poor book
- By Thomas on 05-08-05
By: Tim Sanders
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How Remarkable Women Lead
- The Breakthrough Model for Work and Life
- By: Joanna Barsh, Susie Cranston, Geoffrey Lewis
- Narrated by: Pam Ward
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Based on five years of proprietary research, How Remarkable Women Lead speaks to you as no other book has, with its hopeful outlook and unique ideas about success. It's the new "right stuff" of leadership, raising provocative issues such as whether feminine leadership traits (for women and men) are better suited for our fast-changing, hyper-competitive, and increasingly complex world. In this book, McKinsey & Company consultants Joanna Barsh and Susie Cranston establish the links between joy, happiness, and distinctive performance with the groundbreaking model of Centered Leadership.
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Great read for Men & Women
- By yvonne on 08-17-12
By: Joanna Barsh, and others
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That's What She Said
- What Men Need to Know (and Women Need to Tell Them) About Working Together
- By: Joanne Lipman
- Narrated by: Caroline Slaughter
- Length: 8 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Going beyond the message of Lean In and The Confidence Code, Gannett's chief content officer contends that to achieve parity in the office, women don't have to change - men do - and, in this inclusive and realistic audio handbook, offers solutions to help professionals solve gender gap issues and achieve parity at work. Filled with illuminating anecdotes, data from the most recent relevant studies, and stories from Lipman's own journey to the top of a male-dominated industry....
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Waste of time
- By EILEEN WEINGARTEN on 04-05-18
By: Joanne Lipman
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Speak