Peace-loving Thor Gunderson has to make a choice when A Panini for Your Thoughts, the Fascist-themed Italian restaurant where he works, devises an incendiary plan to eliminate its competition. Should he swallow his pacifism, trust in his jingoistic boss, Alan, and stand behind his restaurant-nation? Should he dredge up the fortitude to speak his convictions to Alan's nefarious "business associates?" Or should he run off with the German homosexual who has offered him two million dollars in exchange for his assistance in tracking down a set of pilfered Tintoretto paintings?
When Thor falls in love with a new hire, Ms. Barbara Hackbush, whose internet doctor has diagnosed her with a troubling array of expensive "ailments," he makes up his mind: He will join the German on his "adventure-quest," make millions, and return to save Ms. Barbara from penury.
However, as Thor is double-crossed by those he trusts the most, he begins to understand that blissful naivete is the surest path to ruin.