• Single on Purpose

  • Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First.
  • By: John Kim
  • Narrated by: John Kim
  • Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (1,313 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

The author of I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck, The Angry Therapist, now teaches you how to prioritize your relationship with yourself and live a more meaningful life, whether you’re alone, dating, or with a partner.

There’s more to life than loving someone. But being single can feel like a death sentence. Why does being alone equal being lonely? And why do we stop working on ourselves when we’re in a relationship? 

After a painful divorce, “The Angry Therapist” John Kim realized he had never truly been on his own. He went on a journey to rebuild his relationship with himself, going from alone and disconnected to alone and fulfilled. Kim has gone on to help thousands of clients find their own unique way to break free of expectations and finally live their truth. 

With Single on Purpose, Kim takes his signature no-BS “self-help in a shot glass” approach as he shares his own singlehood story and shows listeners how to own their shit, break their patterns, and find a grounded sense of self. 

Spending time to cultivate your relationship with yourself shouldn’t be something you only do when you hit rock bottom, go through a major loss, or have a quarter-life crisis. All of us, at some point, need to be single - on purpose. 

©2021 John Kim (P)2021 HarperCollins Publishers

What listeners say about Single on Purpose

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Relationship junky!

I’m a straight up relationship junky. I have been in one most of my adult life. I also have this weird going back to my ex’s thing. I finished this book in 12 hours. It helped me in the most vulnerable place of leaving a 7 yr on again off again mildly abusive relationship that had major abusive events that warranted this to end long ago. I realized before I got this book that I had a fear of being alone so I needed a book that could get me through the first 48 hours. I bought 3 books on being single or alone and this is the one that I finished because it resonated with me the most. The book is not focused on only relationship junkies in no way but the fear of being alone is the topic I really needed and this book truly helped. Good luck to others on their soul searching journey on learning to be alone and single on purpose.

11 people found this helpful

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Terribly cliche, the whole book was painful.

Very poor storytelling and terribly composed delivery of basic, cliche, not worth repeating, level 0 self-help tips. Do yourself a favor and browse his Instagram account. You will find the same below-average content without a story there.

8 people found this helpful

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Feels like a bumper sticker

This book had a lot of great nuggets of wisdom and advice but towards the end it felt like bumper sticker self help. Additionally, if you’re not upper middle class then some of the examples and “life goals” might not be the best examples, at least that’s how it felt to me. Like, the “dreams and goals” referenced in the book like they’re things we all strive for were not hitting home with me at all, and I don’t believe I’m the only person who doesn’t define success with matching bmws... I suggest this book for a light hearted look at oneself but doing the work will take a lot more than the reach for the stars advice given here

6 people found this helpful

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Awesome, awesome, awesome.

This book speaks! It really broke down where I was and helped me see a bright future. I feel free and excited about my next adventure.

Great concepts and ideas.

4 people found this helpful

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Powerful & practical tips for everyone’s journey to know themselves

Having read I Used To Be A Miserable F*ck, I love John Kim’s ability to authentically connect with his readers drawing from his own life experiences. This book was filled with powerful truths about how many of us don’t really know ourselves because our identities are tied other relationships, our work, etc., and how being single is the best time to put in the work toward creating the life we want. No nonsense, just honesty, wisdom, and humor.

4 people found this helpful

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Pleasantly surprised

This past year, I’ve started (and exchanged) more books on forgiveness, inner strength, things we can’t change, and self improvement than I ever imagined I would. I didn’t think this one would be any different from the many I’ve exchanged/returned. I was pleasantly surprised.

This book spoke to many of my experiences, especially as a child of immigrants who had particular expectations of their children. I’m so glad I gave this book a chance. I believe it’s one that I’ll come back to listen to at least once. I may even buy a copy of the text so I can reread the most relevant parts.

The author used language in a manner that was familiar and comfortable to me as a listener, as compared to a couple books on self compassion (which would be great reads, but sounded terrible when narrated).

3 people found this helpful

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Absolutely Recommend

I’ve followed John Kim since “I Used to Be a Miserable Fuck” changed my life. This book even outdid that one.

It’s a great book for everyone who feels like they have lost themselves even if you aren’t single.

Highly recommend.

2 people found this helpful

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This book is FIRE!!!!

I have been on a quest to really fond myself and I am so happy for this book.

1 person found this helpful

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Love love love

I’m a single LMFT and I can relate to so many things John speaks of in this book. Absolutely loved it and can’t wait to suggest it to anyone who is ready to live larger and be inspired to live more authentically. Also, I never leave reviews so I really must have liked this book! :)

1 person found this helpful

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Amazing

Great book. Definitely a must read for single or people in a relationship! 5 stars

1 person found this helpful

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  • Adam
  • 09-18-22

Not what I expected..

The author basically just talks about CrossFit and exercise a lot. Didn’t find the book very helpful.

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  • miss z.
  • 04-21-22

Just what I needed

I'm wanting to break my unhealthy relationship habits and have a better relationship with myself. This book helped; no-nonsense and very practical. I couldn't stop listening and may well listen to it again.

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  • Jacqueline
  • 02-14-22

Best book I read in a long time.

A self help book that actually helps! I actually feel like listening to it all over again.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 07-24-21

Really enjoyed it

Well read, practical advice, to the point. Great for improving my single mindset and giving me the tools and confidence to expand my life beyond just dating

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  • Anonymous User
  • 02-16-21

Excellent

Excellent book, whether single or not, a beautiful tribute to honoring yourself always. Well done John Kim!

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 02-05-21

Do you do CrossFit, bro?

If you’ve listened to “self help” books before you likely won’t take more than 1 or 2 lessons away... but that is reason enough for listening. Stories were interesting and funny, giving it a unique feel. Ps, Typical CrossFitter who won’t stop talking about CrossFit. We get it.

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  • Rosie
  • 01-27-21

Everyone should read this book

Digestible and practical insight and advice from a relatable and very human therapist. I’ve read countless self help books, which even if helpful, lack warmth. John Kim speaks from his own experience not just case studies. He is honest and open and helps shine a light on things we are expert at ignoring within ourselves. A must read for anyone single, fresh out of a break up, struggling to move on, or just stagnating in their life. For people who are existing instead of living. For anyone that feels completely lost, this book gives you the self care tools that will help you find your feet again, come back home to yourself, and inspire you to create a new version of who you are and want to be. Seriously good book.

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  • Mike
  • 03-06-21

Utter Sh!t

Bland ego-driven narrative, no real core lessons here...Save yourself the money and purchase another title.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-21-21

Phenomenal

Many self-help/ self-care books can be a bit samey. A bit broken record. But not this one. Single on Purpose is gritty, insightful, raw, honest, entertaining and different. Some of the concepts may be familiar, but John Kim somehow makes them more relatable. He is sharing his own journey, not just telling his readers what to do. His advice is practical, explicit and broken into manageable steps. His manner is relaxed, informal and a bit irreverent- and he narrated it himself, which adds to its authenticity. I just finished listening, and I’m about to go straight back to the start and listen to it again! I suspect this will be one I revisit often and I’m already recommending it to my friends.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 08-06-21

Full with useful tips of someone who lived it

Full of useful tips for living YOUR life while connecting with others and if you're lucky, even finding that special someone.
So good to read about the importance of exploring your relationship with yourself as lived by a guy.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 06-03-21

Terrible and disappointing

I was really excited about this book and really wanted to like it. Listening to it was painful. The author sounds very immature and I honestly can’t force myself to finish it.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 05-14-21

Cringe worthy

Advice goes from contradictory, to generic, to down right cringe worthy.
Not worth your time.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 05-04-21

Self indulgent, tedious, cliche and over sexed

Starts off promising and then doesn't deliver. So much talk about having sex and his sex life it feels very self indulgent and misleading advice for a book of this title. His voice is irritating and it's mainly just a brag book.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 04-23-22

Funny, insightful and transformative

I’ve followed John on Instagram for a few years now. I’ve always enjoyed his insightful radical honesty and wit.
After a pretty traumatic shift of life events and a terrible breakup I’ve looked at his material more than ever. This book spoke to me like no other self book has. It’s real. It’s authentic. It’s sharing without being pushy or preachy. I cannot recommend this enough, the knowledge and language is so accessible and really easy to put into practice.

I love John’s anecdotes and how he really opens up about his own personal experiences. I really felt like I sat with John and we just discussed life for a few hours. 😊

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  • Anonymous User
  • 10-21-21

be prepared to take notes -LOTS of notes.

just what I needed for the season I am currently in, in my life. so much good stuff to reflect on in getting to know and understand yourself in the simplest terms from a super relatable author. This isn't your average self love book -some things said in here challenge your comfort zones, blueprints, and perceptions on how you thought you life should look BIG TIME. single, dating, or married - this is a recommended read for all millennials from a millinnial.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 09-26-21

good content

I really enjoyed this book. it's about not losing sight of who YOU are. it's invaluable whether you're single or in a relationship. it's about loving yourself - putting yourself first and following your dreams and desires. people tend to lose sight of who they are in relationships and drift without purpose

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  • Anonymous User
  • 09-16-21

Well written

Great book, very well read and easy to listen to. Will definitely listen to it again 😃