I'd Like to Play Alone, Please

Essays

De: Tom Segura

Narrado por: Tom Segura

From a massively successful stand-up comedian and co-host of chart-topping podcasts “2 Bears 1 Cave” and “Your Mom’s House,” hilarious real-life stories of parenting, celebrity encounters, youthful mistakes, misanthropy, and so much more.

Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra.

In this collection of stories, Tom combines his signature curmudgeonly humor with a revealing look at some of the ridiculous situations that shaped him and the ludicrous characters who always seem to seek him out. The stories feature hilarious anecdotes about Tom's time on the road, including some surreal encounters with celebrities at airports; his unfiltered South American family; the trials and tribulations of parenting young children with bizarrely morbid interests; and, perhaps most memorably, experiences with his dad who, like any good Baby Boomer father, loves to talk about his bowel movements and share graphic Vietnam stories at inappropriate moments. All of this is enough to make anyone want some peace and quiet.

I’D LIKE TO PLAY ALONE, PLEASE will have listeners laughing out loud and nodding in agreement with Segura's message: in a world where everyone is increasingly insane, sometimes you just need to be alone.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2022 Tom Segura (P)2022 Grand Central Publishing

JEAN

This book was such a fun read. It’s especially the great if you have been listening to YMH and his stand up for years. I clean houses so I have a lot of time to listen, once I started I couldn’t stop. Congrats on another accomplishment under your belt. The name of the book was extra special and I love that you greet your kids like your dad would greet you <3 You hit it out of the park per usual. Sending love to the whole Jean and Mommy family. Keep those jeans high and tight. You bet I’m coming up in May.

Tim did a good job

a very funny collection of stories from a talented comedian. Garth should give it a listen and see hows it's done. touch my camera through the fence

Hilarious!

Absolutely loved this listen. Thank God Tom narrated it himself, wouldn't have been same if not. Funniest parts were him laughing (or struggling not to) at his own stories. Such a funny guy!

Tom Segura

I enjoyed every chapter of this book, it was funny and clever. Nothing truly helps me more than comedy does, this book was fantastic. I smiled and laughed through out it all.

A must have in your library!!

I have watched all his stand ups, and he is easily one of my top 20 comedians lifetime.

Epic

if you're a mommy and your jeans are high and tight, or you know a mommy Jean then this is for them! I got the audio book and hardcover!

Wow

Tom always has a way with words. I love listening to his podcast and I even saw him when he came to Cleveland. I have a signed copy of the book and the audio book. The part about his dad hits hard and I can even relate to thinking I was a D 1 athlete (im not, im Burt fat) RIP Top Dog. Love ya tommy bet im coming up in may

loved it

I really loved it. Tom is awesome I've loved his stand up for years and listening to him share more stories is always a treat.

Hilarious!!! Listen to this book!!!

Tom Segura is hilarious to begin with, this book only proves it. Read this book!!

Awesome

I'm so glad I purchased the audio book of this as there is no way these stories and jokes would have held the same weight without Tom telling them himself.