Scarred

The True Story of How I Escaped NXIVM, the Cult that Bound My Life

By: Sarah Edmondson, Kristine Gasbarre

Narrated by: Sarah Edmondson

The shocking and subversive memoir of a 12-year-NXIVM-member-turned-whistleblower, and her inspiring true story of abuse, escape, and redemption.

"Master, would you brand me? It would be an honor."Scarred follows actress Sarah Edmondson's account of her recruitment into the NXIVM cult, founded by Keith Raniere. It narrates in detail the 12 years she spent within the organization, during which she enrolled over 2,000 members, chronicling her breaking point and her harrowing fight to get out, help others, and heal.

• Complete with personal photographs, this tell-all follows Sarah from the moment she takes her first NXIVM seminar, to the invitation she accepts from her best friend, Lauren Salzman, into DOS—a "secret sisterhood" within the cult—to her journey toward becoming a key witness in the federal case against its founders.
• Readers will learn how cults like NXIVM get started, why people get involved (and stay), and the importance of whistleblowers who bring light to illegal and unethical practices.
• Sarah Edmondson is a Canadian actress and playwright who has starred in the CBS series Salvation and more than 12 films for the Hallmark Channel and Lifetime. She is featured in the CBC podcast Uncover: Escaping NXIVM and The Vow, the upcoming HBO documentary series on NXIVM.

Scarred isn't just about NXIVM. It is also a story about abuses of power, the role female friendships play in cults, and how sometimes the search to be "better" can override everything else.

• A thrilling read for fans of true crime and cults, as well as listeners of podcasts like My Favorite Murder and Up and Vanished.
• Great for fans of Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology by Leah Remini, Escape by Carolyn Jessop, Beyond Belief by Jenna Miscavige Hill, and Bad Blood by John Carreyrou.
• Evokes questions about friendship, ethics, good and evil, making it a perfect selection for book clubs.

Audio edition read by the author.

Critic reviews

*One of Town Country’s 10 Best Fiction Nonfiction Books About Cults*

"If you were enthralled by the HBO docuseries, The Vow, or Starz’s Seduced, then Sarah Edmondson’s memoir is required follow-up reading." --Town Country

"Sarah Edmonson wrote a subversive memoir about NXIVM you have to read after The Vow." -Bustle.com

5 stars

Wonderful
I read this in the span of a single 24 hr period, couldn't put it down. For anyone who has been part of any sort of destructive cult, or thinks they are part of such a group, you should absolutely read this. It helps clarify exactly what qualifies, how to see red flags clearly.
I have already been healing for about 10 years from a destructive psychotherapy cult, but that made it a more meaningful experience because Sarah helped to usher in an era that involves more justice and understanding than existed in American society and law for people like us than existed when I was leaving my own destructive cult. And for the Keith Renieres of the world, the narcissistic sociopathic leaders of said groups, too.
Thank you

Love! Love! Love!

Amazing book! Could not put it down and a must read!!!! Highly recommend this read!

Sarah, a hero

Your strength saved many, Sarah. May your stepmother's memory be a blessing. Pray for her, as she prays for you. Peace.

Beautiful & heartfelt

I’ve been saving this for some time. Today, I had the house to myself to clean before the holidays and listened to the WHOLE thing in one go. Sure this is a story about uncovering a destructive cult… but more importantly, this is an amazing journey of a brave, strong woman, reclaiming her life. I teared up at the introduction and all through the acknowledgements! I laughed and I cried. Thank you for sharing your story with the world, Sarah 💗

Thank you for your story

Thank you so much for sharing this story, it was great to learn more specifics of your journey outside of The Vow.

Great performance!