Your audiobook is waiting…

Promises, Promises

A Romp with Plenty of Dykes, a Unicorn, an Ogre, an Oracle, a Quest, a Princess, and True Love with a Happily Ever After
By: L-J Baker
Narrated by: Kitty Hendrix
Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
4 out of 5 stars (74 ratings)

Regular price: $17.99

$14.95/month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

How steamy is it? Simmering

Publisher's Summary

A talking pearl earring. A gleaming white unicorn. A flower from an ogre.

Sandy Blunt, a witch, has big dreams but C-average magic skills. Her only noteworthy talent is for paying extravagant compliments to women. Trouble is, when she uses that gift, she unwittingly foretells the future for a pretty princess. And, the punishment for prophesying about one of royal blood is death...

With the help of ill-assorted companions - including a self-proclaimed princess in disguise, a self-absorbed member of the royal guard, and the not-so-average girl next door - Sandy has a year and a day to travel to far-flung places, collecting the weird and magical items needed to turn her prophecies into promises and evade the executioner. Along the way, she encounters such dangerous creatures as a dragon who writes awful poetry, slovenly elves, and boarding house landladies.

©2011 LJ Baker (P)2013 LJ Baker

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    40
  • 4 Stars
    19
  • 3 Stars
    7
  • 2 Stars
    4
  • 1 Stars
    4

Performance

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    38
  • 4 Stars
    16
  • 3 Stars
    14
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    2

Story

  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    36
  • 4 Stars
    19
  • 3 Stars
    9
  • 2 Stars
    4
  • 1 Stars
    4
Sort by:
  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Allan
  • MIAMI, FL, United States
  • 08-21-13

A world of remarkable women.

Would you consider the audio edition of Promises, Promises to be better than the print version?

Did not read the print version. I bought the audio because it came highly recommended.

Would you be willing to try another book from L-J Baker? Why or why not?

Yes, She has a wonderful imagination, and her dscriptions are both funny and erotic.

What does Kitty Hendrix bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

Ms. Hendrix does an amazing reading. I can't imagine how anyone can so clearly define each character and provide such a flawless narration. She has given me a much greater afffection for audio books.

If you could rename Promises, Promises, what would you call it?

I would call it something like "A World of Promises" to avoid confusion with the Broadway show.

Any additional comments?

Overall a fun read. I have never cared much for audio books, but this was highly recommended for its content and its narrator. As the title promises, promises,itwas a romp.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

GREAT BOOK - GREAT NARRATOR!!!!!

What made the experience of listening to Promises, Promises the most enjoyable?

Sitting back, relaxing and just falling into the story.

What did you like best about this story?

The cover art suggested a very funny book and the listening delivered.

What about Kitty Hendrix’s performance did you like?

What a fantastic voice! I think her interpretation as well as her vocal range added immensely to the overall satisfaction with the book.

Who was the most memorable character of Promises, Promises and why?

Definitely the Ogre!

Any additional comments?

A real treat! If you want a very pleasant experience, choose this book for the story and its narrator!

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Hilarious, fluffy fun

Would you consider the audio edition of Promises, Promises to be better than the print version?

I haven't read the print version but I would probably find that the audio edition is more entertaining if I had.

What did you like best about this story?

The lighthearted way it makes fun of itself and the genre.

What about Kitty Hendrix’s performance did you like?

Every character has it's own voice and characteristics. Her voice fits the book.

Any additional comments?

I wish LJ Baker would write more books like this one. I have listened to it twice and enjoyed the book both times.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Fantastically Funny!

I have listened to this book at least six times in the two years I have owned it. Hilarious and heart warming!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Pretty good

The story was pretty good. A fun fantasy romp. I would’ve enjoyed it even more and may have given it 5 stars if the narrator had different voices for each of the characters. It would’ve made it easier to listen to without constantly hearing blah blah said over and over again.

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

I love this book.

Two years after reading it, I still consistently think of this book and recommend it to everyone. It's just a delightful and really fun story, refreshingly chaste and sincere, and just hilarious all the way through. I can not recommend it enough.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Hilarious!!!!!

I love this book. It’s super cheesy and fun. Hysterical and over the top. The characters break the fourth wall along the way. There is commentary on writing style as well. The narrator is perfect. Take the ⏰. It is well worth it.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Hilarious and clever!

Highly amusing. I loved how the author, in a very blatant tongue-in-cheek manner, worked in the political diatribe and cameos. The romantic pairings were sweet and perfect. All together an excellent book I would enjoy reading more than once, which is my hugest compliment.

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Cute story, maybe a little too self-aware.

The premise was fun, the characters were amusing. The story veered at times into overly clever inversions of typical pulp fantasy tropes, often belaboring the point until it wasn't funny anymore.

The narrator brought life to the characters, but occasionally her pacing was strange, frequently blowing through what were probably sub-chapter boundaries (abrupt scene changes or spans of elapsed time) without a pause to allow the listener to make the mental recognition of the transition.

Overall, though, I enjoyed the book and would read more by this author.

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

A book for tweenagers

The characters are at a children's book level of detail and the plot is trying to be a parody of the children's fantasy genre but not as complex.
.
The main character is enamoured with everyone she meets and could not be more annoying.
It is not often that I read a book hoping the main character will be killed.
.

Sort by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Miss
  • 08-08-16

Silly but fun

Very funny and well written, I really enjoyed it! Interspersed with myths and fairy tails and a large douse of feminism it kept me thoroughly entertained.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • akadingbat
  • 01-23-14

Absolutely Hilarious

What made the experience of listening to Promises, Promises the most enjoyable?

The narration was excellent and actually made the audio version even funnier than the print version.

What about Kitty Hendrix’s performance did you like?

Boy can she do droll. Will look out for other books narrated by her. Excellent.

1 of 2 people found this review helpful