No More Mr. Nice Guy

A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life (Updated)

By: Dr Robert Glover

Narrated by: Dr Robert Glover

A Nice Guy, according to Dr. Robert Glover, a pioneering expert on the Nice Guy Syndrome, is a man who believes he is not okay just as he is. He is convinced that he must become what he thinks others want him to be liked, loved, and get his needs met. He also believes that he must hide anything about himself that might trigger a negative response in others.

The Nice Guy Syndrome typically begins in infancy and childhood when a young boy inaccurately internalizes emotional messages about himself and the world. It is fueled by toxic shame and anxiety. Rapid social change in the late 20th century and early 21st century has contributed to a worldwide explosion of men struggling to find happiness, love, and purpose.

The paradigm of the Nice Guy Syndrome is driven by three faulty covert contracts. Nice Guys believe:

• If I am good, then I will be liked and loved.
• If I meet other people’s needs without them having to ask, then they will meet my needs without me having to ask.
• If I do everything right, then I will have a smooth, problem-free life.

The inauthentic and chameleon-like approach to life causes Nice Guys to often feel frustrated, confused, and resentful. Subsequently, these men are often anything but nice. Common Nice Guy patterns include giving to get, difficulty setting boundaries, dishonesty, caretaking, fixing, codependency, people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, passive-aggressiveness, unsatisfying relationships, issues with sexuality, and compulsive masturbation and pornography use.

Since the publication of No More Mr. Nice Guy in 2003, hundreds of thousands of men worldwide have learned how to release toxic shame, soothe their anxiety, face their fears, connect with men, embrace their passion and purpose, and experience success in work and career. These men have also learned to set boundaries, handle conflict, make their needs a priority, develop satisfying relationships, and experience great sex.

This process of recovery from the Nice Guy Syndrome allows men to move through:

• Depression
• Social anxiety and shyness
• Codependency
• Low self-esteem
• Loneliness and hopelessness
• Feelings of failure
• Lack of confidence and purpose
• Compulsive behaviors and addictions
• Feeling stuck in life

Contrary to what the title might seem to imply, No More Mr. Nice Guy does not teach men how to be not nice. Dr. Glover shows men how to become what he calls Integrated Males. Becoming integrated does not mean becoming different or better. It means being able to accept all aspects of oneself. An integrated male can embrace everything that makes him unique—his power, his assertiveness, his humor, his courage, and his mission, as well as his fears, his imperfections, his mistakes, his rough edges, and his dark side.

If you are ready to get what you want in love, sex, and life, No More Mr. Nice Guy will show you how.

©2000, 2003 Robert Glover (P)2017 Recorded Books

Critic reviews

“One of the best books I’ve ever read on men’s emotional health and development.”

Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck and Models.

This book is helping me save my relationship

Hi, nice guy here. I’ve been dating a girl for short amount of time now but at some point I snapped. I wasn’t able to speak for myself, couldn’t put myself first in any relationship, lived in fear of failure, and basically put all of my emotions into this relationship. This book has helped me from repeating the same mistakes. I just finished this book and started implementing them into my life. It’s already started taking me places that I didn’t know I could achieve. If you are in a relationship that seems to sing the same song that your last one did read this for yourself and start making the changes that you wanna see in your life.

A "one size fits all" self-confidence book

Have you ever heard how fortune tellers seem to know so much about you with their descriptions? They describe common traits with sweeping generalizations so that, chances are, something they're saying resonates with you. If this happens enough times, you feel like they know you. You convince yourself of their abilities, causing you to filter out everything they've said that doesn't relate to you. This is what Dr. Robert Glover does with "No More Mr. Nice Guy"'s symptoms and diagnoses of what he calls Nice Guy Syndrome.

The difference here is, while fortune tellers are scammers out to make money, Dr. Glover uses sweeping generalizations for the symptoms of anxiety, stress, burn-out, depression, and/or low-confidence to give people genuine, heartfelt advice he has tested with other men time and again to the betterment of their dispositions, relationships, work, and overall lives.

If you struggle with any of these issues, it's not because you have a clinical condition called Nice Guy Syndrome. If you did, then every man on the planet probably does too. But if you can put aside Dr. Glover's systematic labeling and oversimplifying of your problems, you'll find his suggestions and exercises can and will help you become a more self-aware, self-confident, and honest person. I think that can benefit anyone, man or woman, Nice Guy or Normal Guy.

Eye opening

Sometimes you just don’t know what you don’t know. This book helped me realize there’s a lot of things I don’t know about me that I do know now, and I feel set free. It’s been very eye opening.

Start manning up.

I get it. I totally get it. Man up to what you really want in life.

Awakening

I was skeptical when I bought this book(just had a free credit on audible, so gave it a try). Well, it was a real awakening for me. The book really lifted me over my situation and let see things from a perspective, it explained a lot of phenomena that I saw in my life, but did not understand. Like why somy guys get everything, girls, jobs, business, and I didn’t, although, I am smart, likeable, fit. It also freed me from guilt complex, restricting my musculinity and who I really wanted to be. I am not the most extreme “nice guy” like some of the examples in the book, but I share a lot of traits which really hold me back most of my 40 year life. That’s going to change now. Maybe not drastically initially, but for sure There will be change. I already feel freer just because I understand that a lot of barriers were out on me by myself. The book isn’t captivating like some other reads, it is more like a manual or some professional thesis. But absolutely useful. Thank you Dr. Rober Glover.

Disturbing, unpleasant, helpful

It's quite disturbing to digest such a book. This is far from my first recognition of me belonging to nice guys, yet it shows that "rabbit hole" goes really deep. There are a lot of harsh truth here, but offering tips how to solve as well. I consider this book be among those things helping me save at least the last piece of my life.

Enlightenment at it’s finest

This book has described my entire life. From the early stages of my childhood to the later years of life. This book has awakened me to my own faults that have been holding me back in life. Now that I recognize them, I now know how to fix them. I would recommend this book to any “nice guy” out there!

Life changing

it is impressive how when you find out the core of your problems and behavior, you can't help to actually want to change for the better.

this litterally fixed me

I could never figure out why I was unhappy, why I never got the girl, why I was afraid of dumb things. this book made me realize what I am and how to change. No More Mr. NiceGuy for me

Loved it.

its a book i can relate to in my life and is going to have a great impact in my life to come.
Simply No More Mr.Nice guy.