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My Fake War
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The Beard
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 5 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 8
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 8
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8
Seven-year-old David Glum watches as his grandfather is abducted by a legendary herd of elephants. Twenty years later, David returns to his parents' home to focus on growing a beard, a goal he feels sure he can accomplish. Once the beard reaches a respectable girth, uncontrollable things begin happening around him. His mother dies. Maybe. His father might really be a man named Gary Wrench. David is sure of one thing: His family is cursed.
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Fill the Grand Canyon and Live Forever
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 8
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 8
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Story5 out of 5 stars 8
Social networks can be used for a number of things such as finding out what friends and family members are up to, trying to get girls to take their clothes off on camera, raising awareness, and organizing protests, revolutions, and relief efforts. But what if one man decided to use a social network for one of the most idiotic causes in human history? Join the hopeless and brain damaged Andy Boring in his quest to Fill the Grand Canyon and Live Forever!!!
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Neon Dies at Dawn
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: E. B. Addams
- Length: 3 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 9
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 9
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 9
A retired man loses his wife to cancer and his daughter to a mysterious accident. He mostly lives alone, occasionally taking care of his grandson. When he sees a black van drive over a young woman before disappearing into the dark of night, he loses what little faith he has in humanity and discovers a sense of vengeful purpose.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Not your typical revenge story
- By Roger Dale Trexler on 06-30-19
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Morning Is Dead
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 3 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 8
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 8
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Story5 out of 5 stars 8
Things went wrong for Alvin and April Blue. In a hospital at night, April sits next to Alvin, bandages covering his burned skin, listening to his heartbeat on a monitor, and wonders how they ended up here. But she can never imagine the world of insanity, drugs, and crime that Alvin has fallen into. A place where fetuses are used to create simulacra, radiation victims prowl the streets looking for sacrifice, houses are arbitrarily detonated, and the police force is more like a marauding gang of thugs. A place where it's always dark and morning is dead....
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Jack and Mr. Grin
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 4 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 8
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 8
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8
Jack Orange is a twenty-something guy who works at a place called The Tent packing dirt in boxes and shipping them off to exotic, unheard of locales. He thinks about his girlfriend, Gina Black, and the ring he hopes to surprise her with. But when he returns home one day, Gina isn't there. He receives a strange call from a man who sounds like he is smiling- Mr. Grin. He says he has Gina. He gives Jack twenty-four hours to find her.
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This Town Needs a Monster
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 14
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 13
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Story4 out of 5 stars 13
Brad's mostly been a loner, content with his job and his tiny apartment. He's never thought much about being part of something. He's never really thought about the bigger picture. Until he meets a beautiful (and possibly psychotic) girl named Dawn. Dawn leads Brad into a vicious world as hedonistically carnal as it is brutal, forcing Brad to decide if he's going to dig deep within himself and continue to resist the community he's remained apart from his entire life or embrace it and accept his new reality.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Strange, violent and nasty. All in a good way...
- By Bill on 07-25-19
-
The Beard
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 5 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 8
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 8
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8
Seven-year-old David Glum watches as his grandfather is abducted by a legendary herd of elephants. Twenty years later, David returns to his parents' home to focus on growing a beard, a goal he feels sure he can accomplish. Once the beard reaches a respectable girth, uncontrollable things begin happening around him. His mother dies. Maybe. His father might really be a man named Gary Wrench. David is sure of one thing: His family is cursed.
-
Fill the Grand Canyon and Live Forever
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 8
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 8
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 8
Social networks can be used for a number of things such as finding out what friends and family members are up to, trying to get girls to take their clothes off on camera, raising awareness, and organizing protests, revolutions, and relief efforts. But what if one man decided to use a social network for one of the most idiotic causes in human history? Join the hopeless and brain damaged Andy Boring in his quest to Fill the Grand Canyon and Live Forever!!!
-
Neon Dies at Dawn
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: E. B. Addams
- Length: 3 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 9
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 9
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 9
A retired man loses his wife to cancer and his daughter to a mysterious accident. He mostly lives alone, occasionally taking care of his grandson. When he sees a black van drive over a young woman before disappearing into the dark of night, he loses what little faith he has in humanity and discovers a sense of vengeful purpose.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Not your typical revenge story
- By Roger Dale Trexler on 06-30-19
-
Morning Is Dead
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 3 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 8
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 8
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 8
Things went wrong for Alvin and April Blue. In a hospital at night, April sits next to Alvin, bandages covering his burned skin, listening to his heartbeat on a monitor, and wonders how they ended up here. But she can never imagine the world of insanity, drugs, and crime that Alvin has fallen into. A place where fetuses are used to create simulacra, radiation victims prowl the streets looking for sacrifice, houses are arbitrarily detonated, and the police force is more like a marauding gang of thugs. A place where it's always dark and morning is dead....
-
Jack and Mr. Grin
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 4 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 8
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 8
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 8
Jack Orange is a twenty-something guy who works at a place called The Tent packing dirt in boxes and shipping them off to exotic, unheard of locales. He thinks about his girlfriend, Gina Black, and the ring he hopes to surprise her with. But when he returns home one day, Gina isn't there. He receives a strange call from a man who sounds like he is smiling- Mr. Grin. He says he has Gina. He gives Jack twenty-four hours to find her.
-
This Town Needs a Monster
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 14
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 13
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 13
Brad's mostly been a loner, content with his job and his tiny apartment. He's never thought much about being part of something. He's never really thought about the bigger picture. Until he meets a beautiful (and possibly psychotic) girl named Dawn. Dawn leads Brad into a vicious world as hedonistically carnal as it is brutal, forcing Brad to decide if he's going to dig deep within himself and continue to resist the community he's remained apart from his entire life or embrace it and accept his new reality.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
Strange, violent and nasty. All in a good way...
- By Bill on 07-25-19
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Pray You Die Alone: Horror Stories
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 2 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 12
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 12
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 12
A short story collection from Andersen Prunty, author of F--kness and Hi I'm a Social Disease . Contains "The Summer of Flies", "Deathtripping in New Orleans", "Durning", "Air Cathedral", "The Nowhere Room", "Black Rosita's Man", and "Rayles".
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3 out of 5 stars
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MONOTONE
- By Jessica on 10-25-15
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The Driver's Guide to Hitting Pedestrians
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 2 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 12
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 12
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Story4 out of 5 stars 12
My name is Andersen Prunty. I'm happiest while napping. I am a man with tennis shoes. They get older every time I put them on. This is how I deal with the pain of being alive. Now is our chance to deal with our pain together. You'll thank me later.
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5 out of 5 stars
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How did I live without this vital information?
- By Leigha on 12-10-13
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The Overwhelming Urge
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 2 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 8
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 6
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 6
It is a world where men wake up with laser beams for eyes and wives play sadistic practical jokes. It is a world where body parts randomly fall off and fathers turn into antelopes. In this world, vampires and spontaneous combustions are a constant threat. The Overwhelming Urge is a collection of bizarro flash fiction, containing ridiculous characters and absurd stories reminiscent of David Lynch and Franz Kafka.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This is what living in Ohio does to people
- By Leigha on 12-10-13
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Zerostrata
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 2 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 10
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 10
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Story4 out of 5 stars 10
After 10 years, Hansel Nothing returns to his boyhood home, unable to remember anything that has happened to him since he left. Back home, he stays in Zerostrata, a treehouse in the backyard. The Nothing family is as dysfunctional and depressed as ever. His mother keeps a cat on her head and incessantly munches prescription medication. His father has left the house to pursue a career as a superhero. His brother wants to be the dad's superhero sidekick and thinks he can fly. Hansel's life is changed forever when he meets Gretel, a free-spirited woman who runs naked through the woods every night....
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The Warm Glow of Happy Homes
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 1 hr and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 8
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 7
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 7
Barton King is young, rich, out of control, and planning the most awesome party he’s ever thrown. The theme: Mexico Frat Funland. There are going to be khaki cargo shorts, red cups, even a piñata. Maybe sombreros. Team Klaus will be there to DJ the event. But it won’t be without its challenges. People are canceling left and right. No one seems to be acting the way they should and space birds are ripping the sky apart. What is intended to be the social event of the summer totters on the brink of becoming a violent nightmare.
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5 out of 5 stars
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One of the creepiest things I've ever listened to
- By Teresa on 07-31-15
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Failure as a Way of Life
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Pete Ferrand
- Length: 3 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 5
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 5
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Story5 out of 5 stars 5
Ryan Noman is stuck in a house on a dead end street in a dying city, a loveless relationship, and a job where the owner challenges his employees to fights in the parking lot. He also has a mystery rash. When Ryan's best friend, Gus, convinces him they need to contaminate the source of the artisanal bottled water facility where they work, Ryan goes along with it because, hey, what else is he going to do? This proves to be another bad choice in an increasingly lengthening list of bad choices in Ryan's life. It changes everything, leaving both Ryan and Gus transformed.
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We Don't Talk About Her
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Brett Schumacher
- Length: 1 hr and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 13
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 12
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Story4 out of 5 stars 12
Clint is a laughable stalker who lives in a hoard with his decaying mother. Stella is his current fascination, but Clint has no idea what kind of woman Stella is. She’s playing a lifelong game and only she knows the rules. Now she’s made a wrong move and finds herself at Clint’s house, victim to his perverse attentions and bizarre behavior. Is it the perfect place to hide from her past or an insane prison from which she may never escape?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Most Romantic Prunty Title Yet
- By King Mab on 09-18-18
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Bury the Children in the Yard
- Horror Stories
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 3 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 15
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 15
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 15
Andersen Prunty ( F--kness and Hi I'm a Social Disease) returns with another collection of horror stories. This volume features: "The Library of Trespass", "Music from the Slaughterhouse", "A Butterfly in Ice", "The Spot", "Laundrymen", "The Warm House", and the novella "Bury the Children in the Yard."
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4 out of 5 stars
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EVERYTHING BREATHES IF YOU STARE AT IT LONG ENOUGH
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 11-12-14
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Satanic Summer
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 5 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 16
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 15
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Story4 out of 5 stars 16
Doug Backus is a normal young man trying to lead a clean Christian life. But when mysterious and gruesome deaths begin occurring in his town of Clover, Kentucky, he learns that his life can never be as wholesome as he wants. Along with his heathen friend Crank and pariah neighbor Whitney, he becomes involved in an exploration of the town's secrets that will either lead them to their doom or answer all the questions Doug has about almost everything.
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5 out of 5 stars
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An enjoyably bloody wild and whacky ride.
- By Bill on 01-10-17
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The Sorrow King
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 19
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 18
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Story4 out of 5 stars 18
The papers call it “The Suicide Virus.” The teenagers of Gethsemane, Ohio, are killing themselves at an alarming rate. Steven Wrigley is trying to survive his senior year of high school, still reeling from the death of his mother and adjusting to life with his father. Along the way, he meets a girl who becomes another kind of obsession: Elise Devon.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Creepy as hell
- By George Billions on 02-23-18
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Sociopaths in Love
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Andersen Prunty
- Length: 6 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 19
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Performance3.5 out of 5 stars 18
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 18
Boy meets girl. They fall in love. They move in together and start a new life. They're beautiful and they have new things, expensive things, the best of everything, whatever they want. But that's only the surface. Beneath the surface is something much different. Something much darker. Theirs is a love like no other and only one of them will survive it.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Boring - no climax
- By Meghan Abston on 02-27-16
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Hi I'm a Social Disease: Horror Stories
- By: Andersen Prunty
- Narrated by: Eric Aschenbrenner
- Length: 2 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 25
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 21
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 21
This collection of short stories by author Andersen Prunty features "Room 19", a post-apocalyptic nightmare based on Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds' song "From Her to Eternity," appearing for the first time anywhere, and "Market Adjustment", about one man's battle with the wealthy, previously available only in a very limited edition. Also includes: "The Dust Season", "The Man With the Face Like a Bruise," "The Photographer," "The Night the Moon Made a Sound," and "The Funeralgoer."
Publisher's Summary
The absurd tale of an unlikely soldier forced to fight a war that, quite possibly, does not exist.
Saul Dressing is a flabby middle-aged librarian who just wants to be left alone to listen to jazz, watch porn, and cultivate his toenails. All of this changes when a soldier in a camouflage sweat suit shows up to draft him into the army of the United States of Everything. His mission is simple: Go to a foreign country no one has ever heard of and incite the opposition to strike first. All alone in the middle of a desert with no enemy in sight, Saul must come to terms with the absurdity of his situation. Thus begins a surreal journey into the politics of war, consumerism, and giant robots.
It's Rambo meets Waiting for Godot in this subversive satire of American values and the scope of the human imagination.
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