It Wasn't Your Fault

Freeing Yourself From the Shame of Childhood Abuse with the Power of Self-Compassion
Narrated by: Kate Rudd
Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (159 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Shame is one of the most destructive of human emotions. If you suffered childhood physical or sexual abuse, you may experience such intense feelings of shame that it almost seems to define you as a person. In order to begin healing, it's important for you to know that it wasn't your fault.

In this gentle guide, therapist and childhood abuse expert Beverly Engel presents a mindfulness and compassion-based therapeutic approach to help you overcome the debilitating shame that keeps you tied to the past. By following the step-by-step exercises in this audiobook, you'll gain a greater understanding of the root cause of your shame. And by cultivating compassion toward yourself, you will begin to heal and move past your painful experiences.

Recent studies show that trauma survivors, particularly those with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) resulting from abuse, can greatly benefit from incorporating elements of self-compassion into their treatment. Furthermore, the practice of self-compassion has been shown to decrease PTSD symptoms, including, self-criticism, thought suppression, and rumination.

This audiobook is based on the author's powerful and effective Compassion Cure program. With this audiobook, you will develop the skills needed to finally put a stop to the crippling self-blame that keeps you from moving on and being happy. You'll learn to focus on your strengths, your courage, and your extraordinary ability to survive. Most of all, you'll learn to replace shame with its counter emotion - pride.

©2015 Beverly Engel (P)2014 Brilliance Audio, all rights reserved.

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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    5 out of 5 stars

Powerful!!!

The book addresses not only shame but also all the other negative emotions we have experienced in childhood that keep us from living and loving authentically. The book exceeded my expectations. It is well-written, deeply touching, highly informative and, most importantly, full of practical tools to apply immediately and after in order to heal fully.

8 people found this helpful

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Excellent book!

I found this book be very insightful and useful. I highly recommend it to everyone who suffered from or is suffering from abuse.

5 people found this helpful

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Will relisten to this one regularly

If you could sum up It Wasn't Your Fault in three words, what would they be?

Hopeful, compassionate, understanding

What was one of the most memorable moments of It Wasn't Your Fault?

Just, whenever you can relate to it, the way she just almost seems to be like this is you isnt it, you do this, dont you? But you know, its okay, here is why and here's what we do next. Look at from this angle and this point of view.

What about Kate Rudd’s performance did you like?

Perfect, she was gentle and sweet. Made the books compassion come out. It was great

What’s an idea from the book that you will remember?

All of it, I have to go through it again though, it's a lot to take in even though I listened to it for more than a week. I found myself having to take breaks and listen to other things. Because she hits so close to home and is so soft and gentle about it, I found myself emotionally raw a few times. Just had to take this one slow. I will listen many times to this one. For the help its given and her words, she herself being a survivor, really hit deep.

Any additional comments?

If you have any abuse in your life, this is a great book to read to find a deeper understanding and more love for yourself.

11 people found this helpful

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I am so grateful for this book.


This book told the story my life. I feel it has given me my truth that is setting me free to live a more compassionate existence so I can give and receive love. Thank you

7 people found this helpful

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Would probably be better to read the book.

This seems to contain valuable information. Unfortunately I am very put off by the narrator who seems to care more about sounding good than about sounding reassuring while discussing this delicate topic. She reads in a very dramatic tone that may be better suited for Shakespeare or some old triumphant battle poetry. It actually didn't even feel like she gave any thought to what she was reading but just read in a generic tone that tends to sound good. In fact, I listened to the sample beforehand and I did think she sounded good. But several chapters in, I felt like I was being talked down to. Obviously, this undid any positive effect of the words themselves. A more conversational tone would have been more appropriate in my opinion.

21 people found this helpful

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Good information

If you lived through parental abuse or rejection or know someone who has, this book has allot of answers to the perplexing problems this type of situation can cause. It is also a good resource if you have had the backlash of someone who has lived through it and it now effects you.

6 people found this helpful

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Life Changing

I Absolutely loved it, and highly recommend this book to anyone who is on the road to recovery from childhood abuse.

6 people found this helpful

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Amazing healing book

I love the book and i’ll have to listen to it again as there is so much precious information to remember. Very easy to understand and very powerful.

2 people found this helpful

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Wow

So much abuse I endured and never dealt with it. I identified with lots of the cases. Buy it!

2 people found this helpful

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great narrator choice

I like the narrator, that other reviewer can pound sand. she reminds me of a kind, comforting older sister who wants to be there for you or that really nice girl from theater class but grown up who now does yoga. she really PERFORMS the book, I feel like I'm listening to The Book not someone reading the book. she has a melodic but straightforward tone, no wallowing!


tell me how EVERY sentence resonates and soothes.... this is the handbook they should give you after age 18. this helps me so much. I actually checked out the physical book from the library because the title grabbed me but it's really hard to get through physical books on hard topics. you can't throw an audiobook across the bed! good to just curl up in a blanket and listen. this helps my day to day thought process and helps me hold my own hand. I needed this

1 person found this helpful

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  • kate
  • 07-03-16

Helpful but...

The information and exercises are good and helpful I think but the reader was a bit clunky and irritating. Wish I'd read it instead

2 people found this helpful

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  • Samantha croker
  • 03-08-15

Excellent

If you need guidance understanding and help in the right direction then Beverly is the one. Thankyou very much indeed

5 people found this helpful

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  • Joanna Wolf
  • 04-12-18

Great book

I really liked the book. What was very helpful was the exercises which actually helped. So many books state the facts but fail to show the way out of the situation.
The narrator's voice was sometimes a bit too robotic.

1 person found this helpful

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  • elizabeth
  • 11-06-17

Fantastic

Many of the issues discussed are some of which I can personally relate too. I hope to continue to extinguish the self-critic and focus on self-compassion.

1 person found this helpful

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  • lailalulu
  • 01-10-17

Amazing book!!

This is a MUST READ!!! An amazing book accompanied with excercises!!! Highly recommend!!

Laila 💜
@LailaAliInspires

1 person found this helpful

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  • Max M
  • 02-25-20

Incredible book let down by narration

This book is changing my life, it really is absolutely incredible and I am so glad it was recommended to me. Invaluable for most people I would say, as I would guess that very few people have a really healthy childhood. However, personally I really hate the narration; it sounds unnatural and computer-generated, and like the narrator is faking an American accent. The parts where she is speaking pretending to be someone else really made me cringe, this surely could have been done another way (for example with other people speaking on these rare occasions).

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 08-29-19

Amazing!

I found this book to be absolutely amazing!!! It was everything I needed it to be. Some books is very dry and other books trying to much almost as trying to convince you. Those books push you away. In my personal believe they're unfinished. Nothing like that with this one. It's gently written book where person shares her experiences from a bottom of the heart to give people oportunity to make a difference in their lives. I can't strech enough how greateful I'm that I bumped in to this book.

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  • Margaret
  • 09-16-19

The world needs to hear this!

This is the most profound book I have listened to in regards to healing. You won’t be disappointed