Hung Hounds

By: Donald Armfield

Narrated by: Blain Kilgore

Length: 1 hr and 28 mins

Publisher's summary

When Earth is attacked by the hung hounds, ravenous trans-dimensional mutts with huge penises, it’s left to coolheaded Humphrey (who has no idea what’s going on), the super-sexy and feisty Dawn (who does), a retired porno actor, and a monkey in a wedding dress to save the planet.

Only thing is...

Glinda, the mermaid queen who has the key to unlock the mystery isn’t letting go of it, unless...

©12/26/2014 Donald Armfield (P)2018 Donald Armfield

Harried Hound's Bite bigger than you'd expect

The premise of this story is pretty simple, someone has opened a dimensional rift that allows giant canines who are endowed with "members" that make them look like elephantine porno stars on steroids. The yrun around humping everything they can, and biting off the faces of those they can't (actually, I think they still bite your face off after they have their way with you. Ther hero of the story hooks up with various weirdos along the way, in an attempt to put things back to the way they were before the dogs start the humpocalypse.

The book is filled with characters like warty midgets, a gay transvestite monkey, a pair of highly aroused twins, and a fella who might just be partially responsible for the whole mess. The book certainly veers south of the twilight zone and bounces into strange territories. The biggest issue I have is that there are characters, but no real characterization. You have an ex-porn star but not his motivation for his going along for the ride. He basically just meets the protagonist, and is suddenly a part of the troop heading off to save the world. It is like this for most characters; so there is not a lot of depth, but then we are talking about a book with well hung dogs that hump people to death.

The story is most assuredly strange, and plays out like a satire, but I don't know what it is commenting on if it is; I just think this was written to entertain and fill the world with weird. It does both things in equal measure. The narration is decent. I'm not sue if he couldn't do an accent, but when the MC meets the Russian fellow he should have been using a Russian accent, even if the guy wasn't really Russian, he said he was so there you go. Most of the voices blended together too, so, while you can easily follow and understand everything that Kilgore says easily he doesn't up the game enough to make me give him 5 stars. Same goes for Armfield's writing, there is a lot of sanity shattering concepts, strange and weird things going on, but not a lot of depth to the characters. So, the story or the "quest" has to carry the plot forward, and if you don't care about the characters there is a slight slip that makes it hard to gain traction.

The concept and execution are worthy of a listen, I love weird things, and this fed that need. Even though I did receive a promo code for this review it in no way influenced my considerations of the material, and in fact, inspired me to be more honest. In fact, getting a code generally makes me harsher as a reviewer as I am more often concerned what someone like Me will decide based on my review.

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Crude and Hilarious

Beware! This is not for the feint of heart! This is a great short listen if you are a fan of dark and dirty humor. And I must say this is an original story. I have never read about alien dogs with giant wieners! I'd like to see what the author comes up with next!

What will you do if a glory hole opens up for you?

So you can’t look at this book cover and read the publisher’s summary without having a certain expectation of this story. This is a combined tale of save the world and a coming of age story for people who are already grownup and stuck in their ways. Erotic, disgusting, immature, and childhood ruining are just a few words that I would use to describe this. I also would use the words, awesome, bizarre, and funtastic to describe this. A completely unlikely group of people go forth to save the world. Who would imagine that they could attempt it? If you like B movies that are full of T&A and make barely any sense, this is something you would like.
The entire story is straight out of the mind of a twelve-year-old, but something that completely works for people like me. Things got a little confusing because it is all nonsensical, but this took a hell of an imagination and the ability to write it all down. You never know what is coming up next and just when you think you have heard it all, something else happens that flips everything up-end. Seriously, this was an epic story and I’m not sure there is much above for this type. I take my hat off to this author. It was not only crazy but enjoyable and I look forward to more from this him and hopes he stays with his style.
Blain Kilgore does a fantastic job. Only he can read stories like this, bring them to life, and do it with a straight face. BK does great character voices for stories like these type and I’m glad he does. Look forward to hearing more of his narration on stories like these. Glad someone will.
I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.

A hilarious horror short!!

Thanks to Hung Hounds I will never step foot inside a bar ever again. Also, I have an unnatural fear of big dicked canine creatures. I would like to find myself a monkey and name it Dookie, only I will force it to wear a fanny pack with speakers blaring out Green Day’s album of the same name. This was a fun ride with laughs and horror.