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How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes
- Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting - from Tots to Teens
- Narrated by: Melinda Wenner Moyer
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
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Target Audience- Upper-Middle Class
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Publisher's summary
How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a clear, actionable, sometimes humorous (but always science-based) guide for parents on how to shape their kids into honest, kind, generous, confident, independent, and resilient people...who just might save the world one day.
As an award-winning science journalist, Melinda Wenner Moyer was regularly asked to investigate and address all kinds of parenting questions: how to potty train, when and whether to get vaccines, and how to help kids sleep through the night. But as Melinda's children grew, she found that one huge area was ignored in the realm of parenting advice: How do we make sure our kids don't grow up to be assholes?
On social media, in the news, and from the highest levels of government, kids are increasingly getting the message that being selfish, obnoxious, and cruel is okay. Hate crimes among children and teens are rising, while compassion among teens has been dropping. We know, of course, that young people have the capacity for great empathy, resilience, and action, and we all want to bring up kids who will help build a better tomorrow. But how do we actually do this? How do we raise children who are kind, considerate, and ethical inside and outside the home, who will grow into adults committed to making the world a better place?
How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a deeply researched, evidence-based primer that provides a fresh, often surprising perspective on parenting issues, from toddlerhood through the teenage years. First, Melinda outlines the traits we want our children to possess - including honesty, generosity, and antiracism - and then she provides scientifically based strategies that will help parents instill those characteristics in their kids. Learn how to raise the kind of kids you actually want to hang out with - and who just might save the world.
Critic reviews
“This science-based, funny, easy-to-use guidebook with specific strategies to help parents raise great kids should be on everyone's list.” (Zibby Owens, Good Morning America)
“In her new book How to Raise Kids Who Aren't A**holes: Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting - from Tots to Teens, science journalist Melinda Wenner Moyer…looks at research on gunplay, screen time, shyness, resilience and more, helping parents effectively send the message that kindness matters.” (CNN.com)
“I can’t think of a more important life lesson than ‘don’t be an asshole’. Unfortunately, many kids don’t learn it - because many parents fail to teach it. Thanks to this book, they no longer have an excuse. It’s a smart, engaging, honest, and surprisingly useful read about how to nurture decency and generosity.” (Adam Grant, number one New York Times best-selling author of Thing Again)
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very well thought out but not for everyone
- By Trudy Owens on 01-01-19
By: Deborah Reber
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Social Justice Parenting
- How to Raise Compassionate, Anti-Racist, Justice-Minded Kids in an Unjust World
- By: Traci Baxley
- Narrated by: Traci Baxley
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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As a global pandemic shuttered schools across the country in 2020, parents found themselves thrust into the role of teacher — in more ways than one. Not only did they take on remote school supervision, but after the murder of George Floyd and the ensuing Black Lives Matter protests, many also grappled with the responsibility to teach their kids about social justice — with few resources to guide them.
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Inspiring, motivating, practical
- By Heather Janetzko on 03-18-24
By: Traci Baxley
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Raising Happiness
- 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents
- By: Christine Carter
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
- Length: 7 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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An essential guide to raising happy children from author Christine Carter, complete with tips, secrets, and strategies that will set the stage for positive emotions into adolescence and beyond.
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One of the best parenting books I have come across
- By Kristine on 02-05-13
By: Christine Carter
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The Grown-Up's Guide to Teenage Humans
- How to Decode Their Behavior, Develop Unshakable Trust, and Raise a Respectable Adult
- By: Josh Shipp
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Written in Shipp's playfully authoritative, no-nonsense voice, The Grown-Up's Guide to Teenage Humans tells his story and unpacks practical strategies that can make a difference. Ultimately, it's not about shortcuts or magic words - as Shipp reminds us, it's about investing in kids and giving them the love, time, and support they need to thrive. And that means every kid is one caring adult away from being a success story.
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Read it....then read it again!
- By R. Eichelberger on 11-07-17
By: Josh Shipp
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How to Raise a Boy
- The Power of Connection to Build Good Men
- By: Michael C. Reichert
- Narrated by: Adam Grupper
- Length: 11 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Michael C. Reichert draws on his 30 years of experience researching the process by which boys become men to provide a road map for parents and educators who hope to help the boys they love and care about grow into strong, emotionally intelligent, and compassionate men.
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Good overall information, but a but lacking how-to
- By Dima on 01-12-21
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Building Confidence in Your Child
- By: James Dobson
- Narrated by: Jon Gauger
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Proven ways to improve your child's self-esteem. A solid sense of self-worth helps your child make good choices, develop healthy relationships, and work to achieve his or her dreams. But what's the best way to instill self-confidence while still teaching your child to value and care about others? Based on a biblical understanding of human worth, Building Confidence in Your Child teaches you how to parent positively and help your child grow into a secure adult who is poised for success in life.
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Outdated Terms/Assumptions- I'm disappointed
- By Bobye M Ruddell on 02-17-20
By: James Dobson
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Parenting Without Power Struggles
- Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm, and Connected
- By: Susan Stiffelman
- Narrated by: Susan Stiffelman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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While most parenting programs are designed to coerce kids to change, Parenting Without Power Struggles does something innovative, showing you how to help your children awaken their natural instincts to cooperate, rather than employing threats or bribes, which inevitably fuels their resistance. By staying calm and being the confident "captain of the ship" your child needs, you will learn how to parent from a place of strong, durable connection, and you'll be better able to help your kids navigate the challenging moments of growing up.
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Highly recommended.
- By Nothing really matters on 10-13-13
By: Susan Stiffelman
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The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness
- Five Steps to Help Kids Create and Sustain Lifelong Joy
- By: Edward M. Hallowell MD
- Narrated by: Pete Larkin
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Edward M. Hallowell, MD, father of three and a clinical psychiatrist, has thought long and hard about what makes children feel good about themselves and the world they live in. Now, in The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness, he shares his findings with all of us who care about children. We don't need statistical studies or complicated expert opinions to raise children. What we do need is love, wonder, and the confidence to trust our instincts.
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Love this book and will be listening again
- By Jenny on 09-15-22
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The Importance of Being Little
- What Preschoolers Really Need from Grownups
- By: Erika Christakis
- Narrated by: Teri Schnaubelt
- Length: 12 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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A bold challenge to the conventional wisdom about early childhood, with a pragmatic program to encourage parents and teachers to rethink how and where young children learn best by taking the child's eye view of the learning environment.
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Points out many problems; offers no real solution
- By K. Lynn on 08-06-18
By: Erika Christakis
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Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Became Parents
- By: Shannon Warden, Gary Chapman
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Gary Chapman has helped millions prepare for marriage. Now let him prepare you for kids. Inside, Gary shares what he wishes he and his wife had known before having kids. For example: Children affect your time, your money, and your marriage - and that's just the beginning. With his trademark warmth, he offers practical advice on everything from potty training, to the importance of apologizing to your child, to keeping your marriage strong, all the while celebrating the great joy that children bring.
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Good tips
- By Alex Ilyaev on 03-25-19
By: Shannon Warden, and others
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Bringing Up Girls
- Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Women
- By: James C. Dobson
- Narrated by: James C. Dobson
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on extensive research, and handled with Dr. Dobson's trademark down-to-earth approach, Bringing Up Girls will equip parents like you to face the challenges of raising your daughters to become healthy, happy, and successful women who overcome challenges specific to girls and women today and who ultimately excel in life.
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Solid concepts, poor presentation
- By honuhunter on 12-06-18
By: James C. Dobson
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The Available Parent
- Expert Advice for Raising Successful and Resilient Teens and Tweens
- By: John Duffy
- Narrated by: David Colacci
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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We have a tendency today to over-parent, micromanage, and underappreciate our adolescents. Dr. John Duffy's The Available Parent is a revolutionary approach to taking care of teens and tweens. The available parent of a teenager is open to discussion, offering advice and solutions but not insisting on them. He allows his child to make some mistakes, setting limits, primarily where health and safety are concerned. He never lectures - he is available but not controlling. He is neither cruel nor dismissive, ever....
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Parenting teens can be much less stressful!
- By Kathi on 06-12-14
By: John Duffy
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Parenting by the Book
- Biblical Wisdom for Raising Your Child
- By: John Rosemond
- Narrated by: George W. Sarris
- Length: 8 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Picture respectful, responsible, obedient children who entertain themselves without television or video games, do their own homework, and have impeccable manners. A pie-in-the-sky fantasy? Not so, says family psychologist and best-selling author John Rosemond. Any parent who so desires can grow children who fit that description - happy, emotionally healthy children who honor their parents and their families with good behavior and do their best in school.
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Extremely Timely!
- By SimoneSJ on 07-15-21
By: John Rosemond
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A must read for parents
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We may not realize it, but children are hyperaware of money. They have scores of questions about its nuances that parents often don't answer, or know how to answer well. But for Ron Lieber, a personal finance columnist and father, good parenting means talking about money with our kids much more often. When parents avoid these conversations, they lose a tremendous opportunity—not just to model important financial behaviors, but also to imprint lessons about what their family cares about most.
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It's ok
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Practical, wise, and well researched
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Good content written poorly
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A must read for parents
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It's ok
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Practical, wise, and well researched
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How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids
- A Practical Guide to Becoming a Calmer, Happier Parent
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- Narrated by: Patricia Rodriguez
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Good content written poorly
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The Gift of Failure
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In the tradition of Paul Tough's How Children Succeed and Wendy Mogel's The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, this groundbreaking manifesto focuses on the critical school years when parents must learn to allow their children to experience the disappointment and frustration that occur from life's inevitable problems so that they can grow up to be successful, resilient, and self-reliant adults.
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Raising Good Humans
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With this book, you’ll find powerful mindfulness skills for calming your own stress response when difficult emotions arise. You’ll also discover strategies for cultivating respectful communication, effective conflict resolution, and reflective listening. In the process, you’ll learn to examine your own unhelpful patterns and ingrained reactions that reflect the generational habits shaped by your parents, so you can break the cycle and respond to your children in more skillful ways.
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Great Book About Parenting and Teaching Kindness!
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You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent
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Of course you think you’re doing a shitty job. Every parent does. It’s pretty much a byproduct of our society, with its incessant demands coupled with the in-your-face competitiveness parents see on social media. Unfortunately, the pandemic only made things worse, as parents juggled the stresses of helping their kids navigate online schooling while they also had to work from home. All of which makes Carla Naumburg’s new book utterly necessary. Naumburg delivers her message right up front, and she does it with her singular understanding, relatably funny voice, and keen insights.
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Useless platitudes
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How to Talk So Kids Can Learn
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From America's leading experts on parent-child communication, authors of How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk and Siblings Without Rivalry, comes a breakthrough guide telling parents and techers how to handle one of the burning issues of our day: how to motivate kids to succeed in school at a time when schools are rife with violence and many students are openly rebellious.
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Too much abridgement
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How to Raise Successful People
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Overall
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The godmother of Silicon Valley, legendary teacher, and mother of a super family shares her tried-and-tested methods for raising happy, healthy, successful children using trust, respect, independence, collaboration, and kindness: TRICK. How to Raise Successful People offers essential lessons for raising, educating, and managing people to their highest potential. Change your parenting, change the world.
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Rushed, no depth, very disappointed
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How to Raise an Adult
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In How to Raise an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims draws on research; on conversations with admissions officers, educators, and employers; and on her own insights as a mother and as a student dean to highlight the ways in which overparenting harms children, their stressed-out parents, and society at large.
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Target Audience- Upper-Middle Class
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In The Formula: Unlocking the Secrets to Raising Highly Successful Children, Harvard economist Ronald Ferguson, named in a New York Times profile as the foremost expert on the US educational "achievement gap," along with award-winning journalist Tatsha Robertson, reveal an intriguing blueprint for helping children from all types of backgrounds become successful adults.
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would recommend
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Let Them Be Kids
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Former English teacher and homeschooling mother of three, Jessica Smartt felt the weight of helping prepare her kids for life, especially with all the outside pressures and influence of the world. She struggled with how she could raise her children with a sense of adventure, self-confidence, manners, faith, and the ability to utilize technology wisely. Let Them Be Kids is Jessica's offering of grace and confidence to moms, giving them practical ideas to meet these challenges.
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heavy breathing
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Cribsheet
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With Expecting Better, award-winning economist Emily Oster spotted a need in the pregnancy market for advice that gave women the information they needed to make the best decision for their own pregnancies. By digging into the data, Oster found that much of the conventional pregnancy wisdom was wrong. In Cribsheet, she now tackles an even great challenge: decision-making in the early years of parenting.
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Loved every chapter except one
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Cleaning House
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- Unabridged
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Do your kids think that clean, folded clothes magically appear in their drawers? Do they roll their eyes when you suggest they clean the bathroom? Do you think it's your job to pave their road to success? As parents, so often we hover, race in to save, and do everything we can for our kids - unintentionally reinforcing their belief that the world revolves around them. When Kay Wyma realized that an attitude of entitlement had crept into her home, this mother of five got some attitude of her own.
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Yes, yes, YES!!
- By Rachel Maize on 06-19-12
By: Kay Willis Wyma
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How to Talk When Kids Won't Listen
- Whining, Fighting, Meltdowns, Defiance, and Other Challenges of Childhood
- By: Joanna Faber, Julie King
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- Unabridged
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Faber and King have tailored How to Talk’s tried-and-trusted communication strategies to some of the most challenging childhood moments. From tantrums to technology to talking to kids about tough topics, How to Talk When Kids Won’t Listen offers concrete strategies for these and many more difficult situations.
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Hopeful and grateful Dad-to-be
- By It Ain't Necessarily So on 08-21-21
By: Joanna Faber, and others
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How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
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- Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins
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This best-selling classic by internationally acclaimed experts on communication between parents and children includes fresh insights and suggestions, as well as the author’s time-tested methods to solve common problems and build foundations for lasting relationships.
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Best. Parenting. Book. Ever.
- By John on 01-02-13
By: Adele Faber, and others
What listeners say about How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Sarah
- 06-08-22
Really solid advice on a range of parenting challenges
I read this as part of a book club and might not have picked it up based on title alone. I also don't think I read the full subtitle before reading it so was pleasantly surprised to find chapters about topics impacting older kids, like technology and sex.
My kid is only two so while I didn't find those two chapters super relevant (although there are aspects of both of those chapters that touch on little kids), I found the research fascinating. I had read Emily Oster's The Family Firm last year, which gives you a framework for decision making around topics like technology, but the research in this book is just far more interesting...perhaps because it touches on older kids, so it touches more on areas like privacy and bullying.
I also found the sections on gender, bullying, and sibling relationships really interesting.
One thing I would deliberate is whether this is better as an audio book vs physical book. I found the performance of the reading good, but this might be a book where you want to jump to relevant sections when things happen and you want to reference the research, which is just easier (for me) in a hard copy.
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- MSprang
- 09-25-21
Fantastic Parenting Book
This was a fantastic parenting book. It starts with how current events fueled the author's need to write it, and continues with clear research-based information not only why things need to be done, but how to do them. It covers a wide range of topics, great resources, and realistic expectations about life. I'll be re-reading parts of this for years as I continue to strive to become a better parent. Incredibly well done and highly recommended.
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- "buglafi"
- 01-25-23
Outstanding overall synthesis of some complex ideas
Very practical, very thoughtful - well written and delivered. A few tidbits I’m implementing right away!
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- John M. Walker
- 10-04-23
Very Resonant
For some reason, out of all the parenting books I’ve read, this one resonated with me the most. It’s great.
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- Amanda Grill
- 07-19-23
Excellent
Excellent, thanks for doing the research! Thoroughly enjoyed listening to it. Personable and thought-provoking
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- Michellemarie
- 02-03-22
Best parenting book I have found yet.
I loved how everything was broken down and especially loved the last 5 chapters. What really spoke to me was the section on discipline and I love all the studies that are backing the content of this book. Is a great deal of research and work went into the making of this this book. Truly appreciate it
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- John Rusiniak
- 08-29-21
Learned a lot
Even with its heavy-handedness with social justice issues, this book was a fantastic resource to draw from and I learned a lot about different approaches to discipline, discussions, and stability with parenting.
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- Orana C.
- 05-24-23
Inspiring and Helpful
Nice book with many chapters related to different parenting subjects as kids develop. I’d like to read it again in a few years. I found the advice based on scientific research very helpful.
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- Flemming
- 07-25-21
Slightly us-centric, but very well reasoned
Basing the intro in the political assholery in the US gives a good frame of reference for those of us that follow that particular dumpster fire, but it end up being a distraction for those that don't, which is permitted when not living in the US.
I fear that adherents of industrialized callousness will be turned off by calling out cheeto Mussolini, so perhaps an easy-to-read edition without those passages would be helpful?
Anyway we enjoyed the book and it seems the points being made are indeed based in reality.
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- emjay0812
- 06-12-22
Helping me feel more confident about parenting in today’s harsh world
Moyer has a way of boiling things down into actionable and digestible chunks/steps. I will reread this until I know it front to back.
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