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Gaslighting
- How to Recognise Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People - and Break Free
- Narrated by: Dr Stephanie Sarkis, Suehyla El-Attar
- Length: 8 hrs and 32 mins
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Publisher's summary
Gaslighting
What it is, how you can spot it - and how you can break free.
He's the charmer - the witty, confident but overly controlling date. She's the woman on your team who always manages to take credit for your good work. He's the neighbour who swears you've been putting your rubbish into his bins or the politician who can never admit to a mistake.
Gaslighters are master controllers and manipulators, often challenging your very sense of reality. Whether it's a spouse, parent, coworker or friend, a gaslighter distorts the truth - by lying, withholding, triangulation and more - making the victims question their own reality and sanity. Dr Stephanie Sarkis delves into this hidden manipulation technique, covering gaslighting in every life scenario, sharing:
- Why gaslighters seem so 'normal' at first
- Warning signs and examples
- Gaslighter 'red flags' on a first date
- Practical strategies for coping
- How to coparent with a gaslighter
- How to protect yourself from a gaslighter at work
- How to walk away and rebuild your life
With clear-eyed wisdom and empathy, Dr Sarkis not only helps you determine if you are being victimised by a gaslighter - she gives you the tools to break free and heal.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
What listeners love about Gaslighting
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Mrs pleased
- 03-17-19
USA based guidance and info
Helpful book to identify gas lighting behaviour, but it’s very frustrating as it is heavily geared towards the USA and constantly references the downloadable pdf for help and advice...which again is only useful in the USA. I’m glad I’ve listened to it and there are some helpful hints to follow but I’m not sure the UK is ready for this phenomenon!
Good ways to identify gas lighters in the work, home, family and even yourself. On the whole, an interesting read and a potential life saver to some! Literally!
2 people found this helpful
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- Raggzy
- 03-08-22
Hugely Biased, a Real Disappointment
This book read like an article in Cosmo: as far as I could tell, much of the references were anecdotal and/or from the author's own work as a therapist, and nowhere near broad enough for such conclusions to be drawn. Much as 'gaslighting' is not a medically recognised term, there are various borderline personality disorders within which this term may be used and understood. The book's tone, in the first instance, was one of "gaslighters are bullies, bad people who you must learn to discredit and stand up to", which immediately put me on my guard, as I was looking for a more scientific analysis, rather than you, the victim, reading this book, must galvanise yourself to fight against this evil phenomenon. Obviously it is a self help book, and I acknowledge that in the bulk of cases, the motive to read such a book will of course be to overcome the destructive effects of gaslighting, but this biased, childish tone does nothing to explain the phenomenon logically, which in my view is the most effective way of overcoming mental health issues. The author proceeds to use various examples of quotations and historic examples of extreme right wing dictators (eg. Mussolini), as examples of the effects of (political) gaslighting, utterly failing to include the efforts of the extreme left (Mao, Stalin, etc), and repeatedly describes the behaviour of fictional oligarchs where she is clearly referring to Trump, without actually using his name, I imagine because she doesn't wish to be sued, as is his way. In addition to this, the most prevalent example of gaslighting occurring in the world today, and a prime candidate for an audition to appear in an Orwellian chronicle of some kind, is that of identity politics/cancel culture - the author having written this book in the current climate, who is clearly an academic operating very much within academia, has carefully chosen to omit any references linking extreme left wing politics of any kind to gaslighting, in the fear that she herself will be 'cancelled'. The book is childish, minimally informative, although to be fair, not utterly devoid of it, but in my view it is myopic and hypocritical in its delivery. Disappointing to say the least.
1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-08-23
Never say No
Great audio, little repetitive at times. Factual evidence and a very in depth breakdown of how a gas lighter manipulates his/her targets. Precise instructions on why never to say NO to a gaslighter, and how to recognise their traits.
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- samitha weerasekara
- 02-28-23
Very helpful
Amazing book , really helpful to recognise manipulation and useful techniques to break free
Thank you
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- W. Michelmann
- 11-03-22
so many things to learn here
some parts are overwhelming (mental health professional) that I couldn't absorb. it's scary to learn I'm facing a malignant gaslighter daily for the past decade plus, intensified after he decided he wants to separate and tear our family apart.
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- terry
- 02-21-21
Thank you for saving me
I have been in a relationship with a female stonewaller , she shuts down every avenue of communication, then gas lights ,
This book was power listened to in one day at The post Inn public house ( pub ). In Devon England , whilst listening to this outstanding healing audio , i just cleaned the pub for 9 hours , polished the wood , lit the open fire swept leaves in the car park. , tidied the wood shed all whilst taking in the information of this first class work ,
I feel a lot better and mentally sharper
And most of all refreshed ,
Great work ,
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- Anonymous User
- 12-14-20
Very enlightening! 👂now!
When you start listening a lightbulb goes off in your head. Finally a book to address and define a major aspect of everybody's daily lives. Dr.Sarkis explains the subject abudantly with valid arguments, study cases, examples and studies. It's a psychology book for everyone. I was really impressed with the amount of resources in the downloadable PDF. It covers everything. Most helpful book I have come across so far.
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- Maimona
- 04-26-20
This was good!
Insightful with ample examples, the speaker is clear and articulate and easy to follow. At times can be repetitive, but still very good.
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- Megan Jones
- 03-18-20
A very long read, but very insightful!!!!
A very long read, but very insightful!!!! I struggled to finish it but I found it really helpful!
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- Filippo
- 01-28-20
Informative and Eye-opening.
The first time I heard of the term 'gaslighting' was on a a YouTube channel by Brainy Dose. At first I thought that the concept of 'gaslighting' was strange. After watching the video I thought to myself that I would like to understand this concept a little bit better. So I decided to purchase this audiobook. This audiobook expanded my understanding even further and made me reflect on past relationships where I also was a victim of 'gaslighting'.
This audiobook has been well written and well-researched. Please purchase it. It will really open your eyes and help you to understand about the dangers and deceitfulness of 'gaslighting'.
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- Nessy
- 06-03-19
Please read this to help you heal
If you think or suspect you are living with a narcissist or have been gaslighted - please read this book.
My gaslighters criticism lead me to believe constantly I had no worth and I was always wrong.
I cannot begin to say how grateful I am that I found this book. I learned the word gaslighting from my therapist and had no idea what it was or the impact it had on my life. This book has been critical and fundamental to commencing the process of healing. This book has given me a different perspective on the way I have thought about myself for the past two years. I am now able to go over past scenes and revisit them with a different lens - not the one that completely blames myself for everything I did or didn't do.
The only 'disappointing' thing about finishing this book is what can I read next and how do I ever learn to trust anyone again.
3 people found this helpful
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- KBoyle
- 05-05-21
A well timed read
Explained what I needed to know just at the right time. Clearly delivered and hit the nail right on the head. 2 people less in my life won't be missed. I am released.
1 person found this helpful
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- John hatzisavas
- 11-23-20
incredible information!
This one really hit home. it was hard for me particularly but managing to get through it its fantastic and has shed so much light 😭 thank you !
1 person found this helpful
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- Samantha C.
- 03-16-23
not my favourite
I ve read alot of books on gaslighting/narssisstic abuse in an attempt to understand my father. I also work in the mental health field. I don't disagree with the content or advice but it feels targeting and doesn't really seek to understand where narcissistic abuse comes from. I also don't like how the only option it gives is leaving the gaslighter. I know that is usually the best option but I think more options should be provided. Other books I ve read such as the gaslight effect seemed alot of holistic and gave more option/discussed how to manage with this without leaving as being the only solution.
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- J. Harris
- 05-01-19
Emotional abuse it's real!
Useful incite in how to deal with gaslighting emotional abuse & how to heal from the abuse.
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- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You've asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men---and to change your life. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men shows you how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship.
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I needed this.
- By james p weiss on 09-07-17
By: Lundy Bancroft
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When Dad Hurts Mom
- Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother? Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it's physical or "just" emotional abuse, whether it's aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you.
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Great information. Not the best narrator.
- By RT on 06-28-19
By: Lundy Bancroft
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When Friendship Hurts
- How to Deal with Friends Who Betray, Abandon, or Wound You
- By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
We’ve all had friendships that have gone bad. Whether it takes the form of a simple yet inexplicable estrangement or a devastating betrayal, a failed friendship can make your life miserable, threaten your success at work or school, and even undermine your romantic relationships. Finally there is help. In When Friendship Hurts, Jan Yager, recognized internationally as a leading expert on friendship, explores what causes friendships to falter and explains how to mend them - or end them.
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Good Book
- By Qalb-e-Saleem on 12-11-12
By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
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The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?
- A Woman's Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go
- By: Patricia Evans
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Coupling stories of abused women and abusive men from her own case studies, Patricia Evans here gives you the tools you need to transform your relationship. Most important, she assures you that such a transformation is possible—given the right circumstances. Evans also helps you determine if your abuser really has changed—or if he’s merely creating the illusion of change. And if he hasn’t changed, Evans helps you decide whether it’s time to leave the relationship—and what to do when it is.
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A gift to the emotionally violated
- By curious23m on 08-16-15
By: Patricia Evans
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Talking to Crazy
- How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life
- By: Mark Goulston MD
- Narrated by: L. J. Ganser
- Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Let's face it: We all know people who are irrational. No matter how hard you try to reason with them, it never works. So what's the solution? How do you talk to someone who's out of control? What can you do with a boss who bullies, a spouse who yells, or a friend who frequently bursts into tears? In his book Just Listen, Mark Goulston shared his best-selling formula for getting through to the resistant people in your life. Now he brings his communication magic to the most difficult group of all - the downright irrational.
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Dissapointed
- By Aaron Olson on 11-04-15
By: Mark Goulston MD
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5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life
- Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict Personalities
- By: Bill Eddy
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
When a high-conflict person has one of five common personality disorders - borderline, narcissistic, paranoid, antisocial, or histrionic - they can lash out in risky extremes of emotion and aggression. And once an HCP decides to target you, they're hard to shake. But there are ways to protect yourself. Using empathy-driven conflict management techniques, Bill Eddy, a lawyer and therapist with extensive mediation experience, will teach you to spot warning signs of the five high-conflict personalities in others and in yourself.
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This book should be required reading.
- By JGM on 05-07-18
By: Bill Eddy
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Why Does He Do That?
- Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You've asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men---and to change your life. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men shows you how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship.
-
-
I needed this.
- By james p weiss on 09-07-17
By: Lundy Bancroft
-
When Dad Hurts Mom
- Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother? Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it's physical or "just" emotional abuse, whether it's aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you.
-
-
Great information. Not the best narrator.
- By RT on 06-28-19
By: Lundy Bancroft
-
When Friendship Hurts
- How to Deal with Friends Who Betray, Abandon, or Wound You
- By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
We’ve all had friendships that have gone bad. Whether it takes the form of a simple yet inexplicable estrangement or a devastating betrayal, a failed friendship can make your life miserable, threaten your success at work or school, and even undermine your romantic relationships. Finally there is help. In When Friendship Hurts, Jan Yager, recognized internationally as a leading expert on friendship, explores what causes friendships to falter and explains how to mend them - or end them.
-
-
Good Book
- By Qalb-e-Saleem on 12-11-12
By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
-
The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?
- A Woman's Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go
- By: Patricia Evans
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Coupling stories of abused women and abusive men from her own case studies, Patricia Evans here gives you the tools you need to transform your relationship. Most important, she assures you that such a transformation is possible—given the right circumstances. Evans also helps you determine if your abuser really has changed—or if he’s merely creating the illusion of change. And if he hasn’t changed, Evans helps you decide whether it’s time to leave the relationship—and what to do when it is.
-
-
A gift to the emotionally violated
- By curious23m on 08-16-15
By: Patricia Evans
-
Talking to Crazy
- How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life
- By: Mark Goulston MD
- Narrated by: L. J. Ganser
- Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Let's face it: We all know people who are irrational. No matter how hard you try to reason with them, it never works. So what's the solution? How do you talk to someone who's out of control? What can you do with a boss who bullies, a spouse who yells, or a friend who frequently bursts into tears? In his book Just Listen, Mark Goulston shared his best-selling formula for getting through to the resistant people in your life. Now he brings his communication magic to the most difficult group of all - the downright irrational.
-
-
Dissapointed
- By Aaron Olson on 11-04-15
By: Mark Goulston MD
-
The Undervalued Self
- By: Elaine N. Aron
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
- By Dawn Mitchell on 09-20-15
By: Elaine N. Aron
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Joint Custody with a Jerk
- Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex
- By: Judy Corcoran, Julie A. Ross, MA
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It's a fact that parenting is hard enough in a family where two parents love and respect each other. After divorce, when the respect has diminished and the love has often turned to intense dislike, co-parenting can be nearly impossible, driving one or both parents to the brink of insanity. Joint Custody with a Jerk offers many proven communication techniques that help you deal with your difficult ex-husband or ex-wife.
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Victim blaming
- By Michelle Johann on 08-31-18
By: Judy Corcoran, and others
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Toxic Parents
- Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
- By: Craig Buck, Susan Forward
- Narrated by: Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents---and discover a new world of self-confidence, inner strength, and emotional independence.
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Its worth a listen.
- By