Short Story Nine-Pack consists of the following short stories of revenge:
- "Dial 693-WINE" - You want to expand your liquor store by the old lady next door won't sell. Now what?
- "I'll See You In My Dreams" - You've invented a machine that records your dreams, but is it dangerous?
- "Paper Route" - The trials and tribulations of taking over someone else's paper route in the 1960s.
- "Rescue" - You and you friend devise a scheme for you to meet the girl of your dreams - or is it nightmares?
- "Save Me" - Your best friend calls to say goodbye before he kills himself. Can you talk him out of it?
- "Schmooze Me, Baby" - First day at the police department under the new captain. Careful what you say.
- "Switch" - Stranded in the burning desert, you hitch a ride, but now you wish you hadn't.
- "The Long-Awaited Goodbye" - Pesty neighbor drives you nuts so you plan to buy him out - Adios.
- "What A Goofy Job" - Your job as a greeter at Disneyland seems to be a dead-end job - literally.