Shadow Daughter

A Memoir of Estrangement

De: Harriet Brown

Narrado por: Harriet Brown

A riveting, provocative, and ultimately hopeful exploration of mother-daughter estrangement, woven with research and anecdotes, from an award-winning journalist.

The day of her mother's funeral, Harriet Brown was five thousand miles away. For years they'd gone through cycles of estrangement and connection, drastic blow-ups and equally dramatic reconciliations. By the time her mother died at seventy-six, they hadn't spoken at all in several years. Her mother's death sent Brown on a journey of exploration, one that considered guilt and trauma, rage and betrayal, and forgiveness.

Shadow Daughter tackles a subject we rarely discuss as a culture. Family estrangements -- between parents and children, siblings, multiple generations -- are surprisingly common, and even families that aren't officially estranged often have some experience of deep conflicts. Despite the fact that the issue touches most people one way or another, estrangement is still shrouded in secrecy, stigma, and shame. We simply don't talk about it, and that silence can make an already difficult situation even harder. Brown tells her story with clear-eyed honesty and hard-won wisdom; she also shared interviews with others who are estranged, as well as the most recent research on this taboo topic.

Ultimately, Shadow Daughter is a thoughtful, provocative, and deeply researched exploration of the ties that bind and break, forgiveness, reconciliation, and what family really means.

Enlightening

I liked how the author spoke of other daughters struggles. Other mothers feeling. I started reading this book as a mom trying to find a way to connect with my estranged daughter, but I realized I was the mother who alienated the daughter.

I Needed This

I'm in healthy tears after listening to this memior. My life, in the words of someone else, telling their life. I needed this, like a community or a hug.

Extraordinary book about dealing with a mean parent

This is the first book I’ve ever read that made me feel like someone understands what I’ve gone through with my own parents and sister. What a relief to hear about others who have had to deal with a self absorbed mother and emotionally weak father. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Harriet.

Shadow daughter by Harriet Brown

The best book I have read on one of the most painful, gut wrenching, emotional subjects there is, mother daughter estrangement.

Harriet shows bravery and courage as she relates her own experience, of growing up with a mother, that was deeply critical, judgmental and incapable of accepting Harriet for who she was, which was different from who her mother wanted her to be. Years of feeling the raw emotions of confusion, heartbreak, shame, anger, frustration, sadness, she makes the decision to go no contact and break free from her mother’s toxic poison. She goes on to marry and have a family of her own and discusses how her decision leaves her ostracized from both parents, (as her father sides with his wife) and her extended close knit family, another painful loss. With age, her mother doesn’t soften and Harriet explores the challenges associated with the invisible themes of perpetual grief, ambiguous loss and bereavement of her mother. A “motherless daughter”, mom to 2 daughters, a wife and a successful career, Harriet does her best to find her own real peace with someone that she knows she will never reconcile with.

Mother to estranged daughter.

As the mother of an estranged daughter this book gave me a lot of insight into how to proceed, or not, in attempts to reconcile. I think we need a time apart to grow.

Beautifully put book

This felt like a warm cup of coffee for my soul, being estranged from my entire family has been so painful and hard to process. This has helped me, at the very least, feel less alone

Variety of Experiences

While this book didn’t fully hit for me, there was an obvious effort by the author to encapsulate a variety of experiences. I appreciated the efforts to depict resolutions outside of reconciliation.

A particularly memorable line:
“She (the mother) wanted me to deny myself before I even knew who I was.”

A Worthy Read!

A Worthy Read especially if any Estrangement in your family. Gave me a lot of comfort & understanding of family estrangement.

Good descriptive child's view

This was a good read to understand people's hearts and the view of a daughter and her estrangement with her mother. I t is a good read for someone who needs a view of the child's perspective

I thought I was alone

This book allowed me to take that step to stand firm in my decision to break away from my mother. Thanks!