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Denial
- A Memoir
- Narrated by: Suzie Althens
- Length: 10 hrs and 26 mins
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Publisher's summary
From one of the world’s foremost experts on terrorism and post-traumatic stress disorder, comes an intimate and astonishingly frank examination of her own rape at 15, the life of her rapist, and how both shaped her life and work.
Jessica Stern is one of the world’s foremost experts on terrorism and post-traumatic stress disorder. She has interviewed some of the most feared terrorists in their own camps in Pakistan and Afghanistan. She has worked with the National Security Council and the FBI as an expert on what extreme trauma can do to a person, be they friend or foe. By her own admission, she feels no fear in these terrifying scenarios.
On a fall night in Concord, a quiet Massachusetts suburb, in 1973, Jessica was 15. She and her sister were at doing their homework after ballet class when a serial rapist, Dennis Meggs, entered their bedroom and sexually assaulted the girls for over an hour. When he left them alone, they tried to call for help, but he had cut the phone line. They walked to Friendly’s to call their babysitter from a payphone. She did not believe the girls until she saw them. Their mother was dead, and their father was on a business trip to Europe with his new wife from which he did not return for three days after hearing the news. The girls wrote their statements for the police in their best cursive hand.
Following the example of her family, her father the Holocaust survivor and her abusive grandfather, Jessica denied the pain of her experience. She kept striving to be good. Her academic and writing career took off at a supersonic speed, but her personal life stalled. She miscarried twelve times, and her marriage dissolved once she finally gave birth to a son. Until a friend’s request forced her to sit down with her police file in 2006, she had disassociated from most of the details of the attack and its aftermath.
But, when she did review the file, something clicked in the mind of this world-class social scientist. She had to know the truth and could deny her feelings no longer. She began an investigation, with the help of a devoted police lietenant and her new husband, to find the truth about Dennis Meggs, the town of Concord, her own family, and her own mind. The results are astonishing.
In her own words, “Nabokov once said, “Life is pain,” a riff on the Buddhist notion that to live is to crave and to crave is to feel pain. To live in this world involves pain. Had I not been catapulted, in that one hour, half-way to death, and therefore closer to enlightenment? In death we no longer feel human cravings, no longer feel human pain. I was now half way there. I was prepared to be quiet. I have been quiet, and I have listened all my life. But now, I will finally speak.”
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Overall
- Gisela Moreira ortt
- 02-15-23
Thank you
I thank the author. Listening about her trauma helped me processing mine. I hope to listen to more audiobooks from survivors and feel more of this connection.
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- Kelly Arora
- 12-09-22
Unbelievable how amazing this book is
Just start listening. You won’t regret it. This production is fantastic. The book is fantastic and Jessica Stern is one of the best story tellers of this generation.
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- Jeannie
- 07-24-22
Brilliant & Heartbreaking.
I will listen to this book again as I found it to be such a clear and honest account of trauma and its aftermath.
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- Kindle Customer
- 10-11-20
Essential For Understanding the World Right Now
I am a person who has spent years studying my own behaviors and their origins in Hope's of trying to outgrow trauma. Many many times throughout this listen, I was open-mouthed shocked at an insight into my own world as she described hers. The topics of trauma, terror, abuse and their effects are the most important topics in understanding what is unfolding across the globe. Generations of traumatized, abused and terrorized individuals are acting from these experiences, either unaware of or in denial of their existence or effects. I could not recommend this book more strongly, especially for those who have tried or are still trying to understand their own experiences and behaviors.
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- Jannine
- 05-12-22
Intriguing and clarifying all at once.
Well narrated, easy to listen to, not distracting from content.
Written with great quality detail.
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For five years, Jessica Stern interviewed extremist members of three religions around the world: Christians, Jews, and Muslims. She traveled extensively (to refugee camps in Lebanon, religious schools in Pakistan, prisons in Amman, Ashqelon, and Pensacola) and discovered that the Islamic jihadi in the mountains of Pakistan and the Christian fundamentalist bomber in Oklahoma have much in common.
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Review
- By Ryan on 07-16-04
By: Jessica Stern
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Somebody's Daughter
- A Memoir
- By: Ashley C. Ford
- Narrated by: Ashley C. Ford
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Through poverty, adolescence, and a fraught relationship with her mother, Ashley Ford wishes she could turn to her father for hope and encouragement. There are just a few problems: he’s in prison, and she doesn’t know what he did to end up there. She doesn’t know how to deal with the incessant worries that keep her up at night, or how to handle the changes in her body that draw unwanted attention from men. In her search for unconditional love, Ashley begins dating a boy her mother hates.
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It gives words to the journey of so many brown girls.
- By Kenyon Martin on 06-06-21
By: Ashley C. Ford
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Uncultured
- A Memoir
- By: Daniella Mestyanek Young
- Narrated by: Daniella Mestyanek Young
- Length: 13 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Behind the tall, foreboding gates of a commune in Brazil, Daniella Mestyanek Young was raised in the religious cult The Children of God, also known as The Family, as the daughter of high-ranking members. Her great-grandmother donated land for one of The Family’s first communes in Texas. Her mother, at thirteen, was forced to marry the leader and served as his secretary for many years. Beholden to The Family’s strict rules, Daniella suffers physical, emotional, and sexual abuse—masked as godly discipline and divine love—and is forbidden from getting a traditional education.
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Do not recommend the second half
- By Anonymous Reader on 10-02-22
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Know My Name
- A Memoir
- By: Chanel Miller
- Narrated by: Chanel Miller
- Length: 15 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
She was known to the world as Emily Doe when she stunned millions with a letter. Brock Turner had been sentenced to just six months in county jail after he was found sexually assaulting her on Stanford's campus. Her victim impact statement was posted on BuzzFeed, where it instantly went viral. Now, she reclaims her identity to tell her story of trauma, transcendence, and the power of words.
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Just, thank you.
- By Alysha DeShaé on 09-25-19
By: Chanel Miller
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Good Morning, Monster
- A Therapist Shares Five Heroic Stories of Emotional Recovery
- By: Catherine Gildiner
- Narrated by: Deborah Burgess
- Length: 13 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In this fascinating narrative, therapist Catherine Gildiner presents five of what she calls her most heroic and memorable patients. Among them: A successful, first-generation Chinese immigrant musician suffering sexual dysfunction; a young woman whose father abandoned her at age nine with her younger siblings in an isolated cottage in the depth of winter; and a glamorous workaholic whose narcissistic, negligent mother greeted her each morning of her childhood with "Good morning, Monster". Each patient presents a mystery, one that will only be unpacked over years.
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some things shouldn't be consumed
- By Jess on 12-28-22
Related to this topic
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The Survivors
- A Story of War, Inheritance, and Healing
- By: Adam Frankel
- Narrated by: Adam Frankel, Rob Shapiro
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Adam Frankel’s maternal grandparents survived the Holocaust and built new lives, with new names, in Connecticut. Though they tried to leave the horrors of their past behind, the pain they suffered crossed generational lines - a fact most apparent in the mental health of Adam’s mother. When Adam sat down with her to examine their family history in detail, he learned another shocking secret, this time one that unraveled Adam’s entire understanding of who he is.
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Amazing story
- By Alissa on 12-26-19
By: Adam Frankel
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A Daughter's Deadly Deception
- The Jennifer Pan Story
- By: Jeremy Grimaldi
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 12 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
From the outside looking in, Jennifer Pan seemed like a model daughter living a perfect life. The ideal child, the one her immigrant parents saw, was studying to become a pharmacist at the University of Toronto. But there was a dark, deceptive side to the angelic young woman. In reality, Jennifer spent her days in the arms of her high-school sweetheart, Daniel. In an attempt to lead the life she dreamed of, she would do almost anything. For many years she led this double life. But when her father discovered her web of lies, his ultimatum was severe. And so, too, was her revenge.
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Good Story - Odd Formating
- By CrimsonYell on 01-24-20
By: Jeremy Grimaldi
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In the Shadow of the Valley
- A Memoir
- By: Bobi Conn
- Narrated by: Bobi Conn
- Length: 10 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Bobi Conn was raised in a remote Kentucky holler in 1980s Appalachia. She remembers her tin-roofed house tucked away in a vast forest paradise; the sparkling creeks, with their frogs and crawdads; the sweet blackberries growing along the road to her granny’s; and her abusive father. An elegiac account of survival despite being born poor, female, and cloistered, Bobi’s testament is one of hope for all vulnerable populations, particularly women and girls caught in the cycle of poverty and abuse.
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Hard Pass
- By Kathryn Liggett on 06-13-20
By: Bobi Conn
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Alligator Candy
- A Memoir
- By: David Kushner
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
From award-winning journalist David Kushner, Alligator Candy is a reported memoir about family, survival, and the unwavering power of love. David Kushner grew up in the early 1970s in the Florida suburbs. It was when kids still ran free, riding bikes and disappearing into the nearby woods for hours at a time. One morning in 1973, however, everything changed. David’s older brother, Jon, biked through the forest to the convenience store for candy, and never returned.
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Very well done
- By Nic on 06-27-18
By: David Kushner
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My Life Among the Serial Killers
- Inside the Minds of the World's Most Notorious Murderers
- By: Helen Morrison M.D., Harold Goldberg
- Narrated by: Helen Morrison
- Length: 5 hrs and 54 mins
- Abridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Dr. Helen Morrison has profiled more than 80 serial killers around the world. What she has learned about them will shatter every assumption you've ever had about the most notorious killers known to man.
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Boring reader,boring writing
- By P. Minor on 02-03-08
By: Helen Morrison M.D., and others
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The Mathematician's Shiva
- By: Stuart Rojstaczer
- Narrated by: Angela Brazil, Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 10 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When the greatest female mathematician in history passes away, her son, Alexander "Sasha" Karnokovitch, just wants to mourn his mother in peace. But rumor has it the notoriously eccentric Polish émigré has solved one of the most difficult problems in all of mathematics and has spitefully taken the solution to her grave. A ragtag group of mathematicians from around the world descends upon Rachela's shiva, determined to find the proof or solve it for themselves - even if it means prying up the floorboards for notes.
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Great read
- By Lee Crowe on 07-27-15
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The Survivors
- A Story of War, Inheritance, and Healing
- By: Adam Frankel
- Narrated by: Adam Frankel, Rob Shapiro
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Adam Frankel’s maternal grandparents survived the Holocaust and built new lives, with new names, in Connecticut. Though they tried to leave the horrors of their past behind, the pain they suffered crossed generational lines - a fact most apparent in the mental health of Adam’s mother. When Adam sat down with her to examine their family history in detail, he learned another shocking secret, this time one that unraveled Adam’s entire understanding of who he is.
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Amazing story
- By Alissa on 12-26-19
By: Adam Frankel
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A Daughter's Deadly Deception
- The Jennifer Pan Story
- By: Jeremy Grimaldi
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel
- Length: 12 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
From the outside looking in, Jennifer Pan seemed like a model daughter living a perfect life. The ideal child, the one her immigrant parents saw, was studying to become a pharmacist at the University of Toronto. But there was a dark, deceptive side to the angelic young woman. In reality, Jennifer spent her days in the arms of her high-school sweetheart, Daniel. In an attempt to lead the life she dreamed of, she would do almost anything. For many years she led this double life. But when her father discovered her web of lies, his ultimatum was severe. And so, too, was her revenge.
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Good Story - Odd Formating
- By CrimsonYell on 01-24-20
By: Jeremy Grimaldi
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In the Shadow of the Valley
- A Memoir
- By: Bobi Conn
- Narrated by: Bobi Conn
- Length: 10 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Bobi Conn was raised in a remote Kentucky holler in 1980s Appalachia. She remembers her tin-roofed house tucked away in a vast forest paradise; the sparkling creeks, with their frogs and crawdads; the sweet blackberries growing along the road to her granny’s; and her abusive father. An elegiac account of survival despite being born poor, female, and cloistered, Bobi’s testament is one of hope for all vulnerable populations, particularly women and girls caught in the cycle of poverty and abuse.