Conflict Is Not Abuse

Overstating Harm, Community Responsibility, and the Duty of Repair

By: Sarah Schulman

Narrated by: Sarah Schulman

From intimate relationships to global politics, Sarah Schulman observes a continuum: that inflated accusations of harm are used to avoid accountability. Illuminating the difference between conflict and abuse, Schulman directly addresses our contemporary culture of scapegoating. This deep, brave, and bold work reveals how punishment replaces personal and collective self-criticism, and shows why difference is so often used to justify cruelty and shunning.

Rooting the problem of escalation in negative group relationships, Schulman illuminates the ways cliques, communities, families, and religious, racial, and national groups bond through the refusal to change their self-concept. She illustrates how supremacy behavior and traumatized behavior resemble each other, through a shared inability to tolerate difference.

This important and sure-to-be controversial book illuminates such contemporary and historical issues of personal, racial, and geo-political difference as tools of escalation towards injustice, exclusion, and punishment, whether the objects of dehumanization are other individuals in our families or communities, people with HIV, African Americans, or Palestinians.

©2016 Sarah Schulman (P)2018 Tantor

Critic reviews

"A concluding call to address personal and social conflicts without state intervention via police and courts caps off a work that's likely to inspire much discussion." (Publishers Weekly, Starred Review)

About time

Absolutely painful listening to the sections on Gaza. More people need to read this book.

Important Perspective

I really appreciate how Sarah explores the complicity of conflict in our time. She doesn't resort to simplifying and demonizing language to make a point (as we often see), and backs up her points with both research and relatable stories.

conceptually great, delivery flat

Downloaded this book because I'm interested in understanding ways in which transformative justice can be executed. I knew the author wasnt a mental health professional, but her diversity of experience peaked my interest. It starts strong, but the subject matter gets muddy after chapter 5. narration is unfortunately very under stimulating.

Wow! For anyone who experiences conflict!

I found the cadence of the reading far too slow so I listened at 1.5 - 2x the speed and that worked great! Amazing book! Comprehensive content. Got far more out of it than I was expecting to. An easy 5 Star!

Great book

I believe many people will find something they like in it. I personally did not care much about political parts of this book. However, the book is full of advice on personal emotional intelligence, which I loved.