-
Guaranteed Fresh
- Length: 1 hr and 10 mins
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $13.24
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
Editorial reviews
Twelve years after she became the first out lesbian comedian to appear on television, Suzanne Westenhoefer takes on another milestone: her 40th birthday. With Guaranteed Fresh Westenhoefer riffs on the aging process, family relationships, and life as a lesbian in the 21st century. At mid-life, Westenhoefer is clearly confident and self-aware, casually noting, "I’m very comfortable confronting and bearing my soul…this is the easiest thing I’ve ever done." Nevertheless, Westenhoefer hasn’t exactly mellowed with age, and this is clear as she mouths off about the trials and tribulations of domestic drudgery and household homosexuality. To bellyaching aplomb, Westenhoefer decries long car rides, Homeland Security, and wonders why her mom won’t wear that "muff-divers club" t-shirt she gave her.
Publisher's summary
Suzanne says, "I'm very comfortable confronting and bearing my soul. For some people, the thought of that is terrifying, and they would rather be dead. But this is the easiest thing I've ever done. I've worked in factories, I've bartended in New York, I've lugged stuff around; I know what hard work is. This is the easiest thing I've ever done in the world. This is me being me and getting paid for it."
Related to this topic
-
The Best Man's Ghostwriter
- By: Matthew Starr
- Narrated by: Glen Powell, Nicholas Braun, Ashley Park, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A bad best man’s speech can ruin a wedding. Why do we plan every detail of a perfect day and then give the groom’s idiot best friend five minutes of total power? Enter Nate (Glen Powell), a speechwriter-for-hire who helps people write incredible best man speeches. To keep the best man from embarrassing himself (and the newlyweds), Nate uses his list of don’ts: Don’t mention the exes, don’t be rated R, and don’t bum everyone out. Nate’s system never fails. That is, until he meets Dan (Nicholas Braun).
-
-
Fun Listen!
- By Erin Bouchard on 09-20-24
By: Matthew Starr
-
Born a Crime
- Stories from a South African Childhood
- By: Trevor Noah
- Narrated by: Trevor Noah
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.
-
-
Great book and perfect narration
- By MarilynArms on 12-15-16
By: Trevor Noah
-
The Great Indoors
- By: Ginny Hogan
- Narrated by: Mae Whitman
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Alice's journey begins as all good journeys do: hitting on the sales guy at REI. After a tumultuous breakup, a quick career transition, family upheaval, and a sobriety journey that didn't fix her life quite as much as she expected it to, Alice decides that the only way to solve all her problems is to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. But as she begins preparing for the months-long quest, she realizes the answers she's seeking might not be on top of a snow-covered mountain. Especially since she just learned there was snow in California.
-
-
Chuck full of laughs to lift anyone's spirits.
- By Laura Boogaert on 09-22-24
By: Ginny Hogan
-
Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
-
-
Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
-
Wild with Happy
- By: Colman Domingo
- Narrated by: Colman Domingo, Alex Newell, Sharon Washington, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 32 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gil (Domingo) is a struggling NYC actor who heads home to Philadelphia after the passing of his mother, Adelaide (Winfrey). The plan is to tidy-up her affairs as quickly and efficiently as possible, until a few unpredictably hilarious detours ensue. With his Aunt Glo (Washington) insisting on a proper burial, but an urn of ashes already in his hand, Gil gets thrown into a car by his best friend (Newell).
-
-
All hollas and hallelujahs
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 06-14-24
By: Colman Domingo
-
I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
-
-
Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
-
The Best Man's Ghostwriter
- By: Matthew Starr
- Narrated by: Glen Powell, Nicholas Braun, Ashley Park, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A bad best man’s speech can ruin a wedding. Why do we plan every detail of a perfect day and then give the groom’s idiot best friend five minutes of total power? Enter Nate (Glen Powell), a speechwriter-for-hire who helps people write incredible best man speeches. To keep the best man from embarrassing himself (and the newlyweds), Nate uses his list of don’ts: Don’t mention the exes, don’t be rated R, and don’t bum everyone out. Nate’s system never fails. That is, until he meets Dan (Nicholas Braun).
-
-
Fun Listen!
- By Erin Bouchard on 09-20-24
By: Matthew Starr
-
Born a Crime
- Stories from a South African Childhood
- By: Trevor Noah
- Narrated by: Trevor Noah
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.
-
-
Great book and perfect narration
- By MarilynArms on 12-15-16
By: Trevor Noah
-
The Great Indoors
- By: Ginny Hogan
- Narrated by: Mae Whitman
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Alice's journey begins as all good journeys do: hitting on the sales guy at REI. After a tumultuous breakup, a quick career transition, family upheaval, and a sobriety journey that didn't fix her life quite as much as she expected it to, Alice decides that the only way to solve all her problems is to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. But as she begins preparing for the months-long quest, she realizes the answers she's seeking might not be on top of a snow-covered mountain. Especially since she just learned there was snow in California.
-
-
Chuck full of laughs to lift anyone's spirits.
- By Laura Boogaert on 09-22-24
By: Ginny Hogan
-
Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
-
-
Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
-
Wild with Happy
- By: Colman Domingo
- Narrated by: Colman Domingo, Alex Newell, Sharon Washington, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 32 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gil (Domingo) is a struggling NYC actor who heads home to Philadelphia after the passing of his mother, Adelaide (Winfrey). The plan is to tidy-up her affairs as quickly and efficiently as possible, until a few unpredictably hilarious detours ensue. With his Aunt Glo (Washington) insisting on a proper burial, but an urn of ashes already in his hand, Gil gets thrown into a car by his best friend (Newell).
-
-
All hollas and hallelujahs
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 06-14-24
By: Colman Domingo
-
I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
-
-
Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
What listeners say about Guaranteed Fresh
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- zenabuff
- 07-18-14
Suzanne Westenhoefer is 40, Fresh and Funny!
Would you consider the audio edition of Guaranteed Fresh to be better than the print version?
There is no printed version audible! This is Suzanne W. doing her stand up routine brilliantly following in the footsteps of Kate Clinton or even if you stretch it a little Lilly Tomlin. But Suzanne is her own person and owns her comedy. She does touch on current events a little, Martha Stewart going to jail but is not a hard sale on politics. She speak more about the personal. Like her Mother and her sisters, Her acting career, Her girl friend and there cats. And she makes it so funny you almost wet yourself you are laughing so hard.
What did you like best about this story?
I like her whole stand up routine, she has perfect timing between jokes and you feel her giving you the punch lines like all the great comic masters do. Timing you just can't teach you either have it or you don't and Suzanne has it. She keeps you in laughter while giving you time to get a breath before you are laughing again.
Which scene was your favorite?
Suzanne's comedy really is Fresh, a nice voice for the lonely lesbian. I like the story she tells about giving her mother the tee shirt that and her mother not understanding what it meant and wearing it everywhere. I also enjoyed the story about the home depot and the 40 pounds of grout.
If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?
They have, Suzanne W. has at least one HBO special that was filmed and boy is it funny. She is so talented. Sometimes you can caught her doing one of those half-hour comedy things on Comedy Central or the like. She really is very funny. I know when Here TV was trying to make a go of it she and 3 other lesbian comedians where filmed together for a special. The DVD's and taped and specials are hard to find but out there and she is awesome to see perform.
Any additional comments?
This is the best of her 3 audio stand up routines that were taped. But all 3 were very funny. I got this and the other two on sale though I own the CD already. I bought them so I would have them on my kindle when I felt the need for a good laugh. Even though I have heard all 3 dozens of times - still I laugh at the jokes every time.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!