Brilliantly Resilient

By: Mary Fran Bontempo
  • Summary

  • What's your train wreck? Everyone has one–past, present, or future. But why do some people come through stronger while others never recover? Hang on for the ride as Mary Fran teaches you to move beyond crisis to discover your Brilliance and Resilience. You'll face challenges with strategies to come through brilliant, not broken, for personal and professional fulfillment and success!
    © 2020-2023 Brilliantly Resilient
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Episodes
  • Episode 204: How to Love Yourself, with Best-Selling Author (And Ellen DeGeneres Favorite!) Rachel Madorsky
    Sep 10 2024
    “Here’s the myth I want to break: that self-love is selfish. The more we love ourselves, the less attention we have on ourselves and the more generous we become in a very natural, easy, relaxed way.” ~ Rachel Madorsky How to Love Yourself in Less Than a Week and Also for the Rest of Your LIfe Do you love yourself? Does even reading the question make you uncomfortable? And if it does, why? If you squirmed a little reading the above, you’re not alone. Most of us will gladly think about those we love and share that with others. But ask us about self-love? Yikes. Rachel Madorsky is a psychotherapist, executive coach, speaker and best-selling author of the book How To Love Yourself: In Less Than a Week And Also for the Rest of Your Life. (A short, delightful read that was featured in Ellen DeGeneres’ first ever 12 Days at Home Holiday Box in November, 2023!) After battling with depression, Rachel experienced a turning point when a fellow student in a personal growth course turned to her and said, “All of this would get better if you would love yourself.” As Rachel notes, “In that moment I felt like someone just gave me the cure, and at the same time I wanted to say what does that mean? It’s an easy thing to say but no one tells us what it means or how to do it.” On this episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast, Rachel dispels many misconceptions about self-love, most notably that far from being selfish or self-indulgent, self-love frees us from negative focus on ourselves and gives us more time and ease to love and be generous with others. She also makes a topic which many find uncomfortable, unthreatening and accessible. Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we don’t shy away from tough topics, and self-love fits the bill. Rachel advises regularly asking “What is the most loving thing I can do for myself right now?” Fortunately, the answer needn’t involve huge steps. Even the smallest step towards self-love and self-care can change the trajectory of a life. As Rachel notes, “Small hinges swing big doors.” Tune in to this week’s podcast to hear more of Rachel’s wisdom and be sure to listen for these additional bits of Brilliance: When we ask a question of ourselves and we listen to the answer and we say yes and do the thing, we are building self-trust at a whole new level…. No one can actually give us the things we need most better than ourselves. We think that being hard on ourselves is the thing that will make us better. But the more forgiving, and loving and generous we are with ourselves, the faster the healing, the more we’re capable of giving, the more we’re capable of receiving. It’s important to forgive ourselves and say “I was so human in that moment.” We think we are being so loving and forgiving to everyone else, but another truth is we can only take someone as far as we are willing to go. So if we start giving from the overflow (of our own love) rather than our own depletion, it’s a higher quality of care for others. Everyone is always worthy of more love. Open the door for more love. You can exponentially expand your ability to give and love, and giving and receiving is a circle. The more we actually allow ourselves to receive the more we have to give. There is a distinction between taking and receiving. Receiving makes you feel satisfied. Small hinges swing big doors. If we were in a boat or a plane and we changed direction by only 2 percent,we would end up on a different continent. A very small action repeated can change the trajectory of our life. Any place we can add more sweetness with the intention of growing our self-love knowing it will grow love for others is a life changer. Be sure to find Rachel on her website and social media: hello@rachelmadorsky.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachel-madorsky-lcsw-3233374/ https://www.instagram.com/rachelmadorsky/ https://www.facebook.com/RachelMadorskyAuthorSpeakerCoach/ The Book: How to Love Yourself in Less Than a Week and Also for the Rest of Your LIfe Let’s be Brilliantly Resilient together! XO, Mary Fran
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    39 mins
  • Episode 203: Adaptive, Sensory-Friendly Clothing for Kids with "Sense-ational You" Founder Julia DeNey!
    Aug 21 2024
    I led an independent study on making adaptive clothing for autistic children in partnership with a preschool….I couldn’t get a job during Covid so I started working in special education and trying to figure out how to turn the study into a brand. I could see how these kids were really struggling with things and how we could add sensory tools to clothing to help these kids throughout their days. ~Julia DeNey, Founder "Sense-ational You" Clothing Have you ever had a tag rub against your neck in your clothing? The sensation is irritating, to say the least. But to a neurodivergent child with a sensory disorder, the feeling can be like a knife cutting the skin, sending the child into sensory overload and causing major challenges to just making it through the day. Julia DeNey graduated from Cornell University with a B.S. in Fashion Design in 2020. During her college years, Julia also established and ran a volunteer organization in partnership with an area preschool for autistic children. After hearing the concerns of both teachers and parents, Julia began to think about using her fashion degree to design clothes to empower special needs children and help them navigate their world. As Julia explains it, neurodivergent kids experience the world differently. That can mean anything from autism, to ADHA, to sensory processing orders and beyond. Sometimes, sensory overload means exactly that—a child cannot process one additional sensation and loses control. Julia wanted to create clothing with tools built into it to help kids manage their reactions and emotions, allowing them to feel in control in a world that can easily overwhelm them. She says, “I wanted this fashion to be used to not only make the clothes more stylish, but more useful for their needs.We have a hoodie with built in sound reduction and an eye mask for a sensory avoider and an adjustable sensory compression vest for sensory seekers. The kids can have their own little sensory break just with what they’re wearing.“ Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we know that when we combine our inherent talents with learned skills and then stir in some passion, Brilliance is born, and Sense-ational You is a perfect example. Tune in to this week’s episode of the Brilliantly Resilient podcast to hear more of Julia’s strategies to build resilience in neurodivergent kids and listen for these additional Bits of Brilliance: Adaptive clothing is clothing that’s specifically designed for people who have different disabilities and needs so that clothing is more accessible to them. They can put the clothing on themselves and it’s more comfortable. When people don’t recognize that others may experience things differently, those sensory needs are often categorized as being difficult, or dramatic, or they just need to get over it or they’re spoiled and you’re catering to them too much. That’s where the education comes in because it’s not a little thing to them. Their cup of sensory input is full and they just can’t handle it anymore. To say just learn to deal with it isn’t the answer because it’s not always the (same thing), it’s whatever makes their cup overflow in that moment. For kids who have sensitivities, it feels like a tag can be cutting into them. We can’t compare what we experience to what they are experiencing…. Our clothing is sensory friendly. There are no tags and all of the seams are flat, so nothing rubs against you. We also added additional sensory tools into the clothing, whether they are a sensory avoider or a sensory seeker. Having some of these tools in the clothing itself means it’s one less thing for parents to remember to carry around because parents never have enough hands. The tee shirt I designed has compression built into it if the child needs it. Allowing kids to have some control is incredibly empowering and really comforting and eases a lot of anxiety. They think -- Well if I have this garment on I know that I”ll be able to control what I’m experiencing -- to a degree. The ability to dress and undress yourself can be really hard for special needs kids. That’s why we have magnetic closures and elastic waistbands…it allows kids to gain that skill and work on their fine motor skills…and allows more convenience and independence in dressing. It’s so important to talk about this (special needs and neurodiversity) and normalize this so that future generations understand it. These clothes help to create more universal acceptance of these differences. Follow Julia via the links below, and Let’s be Brilliantly Resilient together! Website Link: https://shopsenseationalyou.com/ Instagram Link: https://www.instagram.com/senseational_you/ Facebook Link: https://www.facebook.com/shopsenseationalyou XO, Mary Fran
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    36 mins
  • Episode 202: How to Create Your Own "Order of Things" with Author Sarah Gormley
    Jul 30 2024
    I’m a gold star chaser…. If you just give the right answer, everybody’s happy. I started this pattern of doing what my parents and the world wanted. It took me a long time to figure out there’s another way…. The gold stars make it really easy to ignore your gut.

    Sarah Gormley

    Author of The Order of Things

    Have you ever done something not because you wanted to, but because you thought you were “supposed” to?

    From the time we’re young, we learn what we’re “supposed” to do. Behave, answer the test questions correctly, make the right choices. But what if the “right” choices are wrong for us? What if we do what we’re “supposed” to do but don’t get the result we’ve been promised?

    By all outward standards, Sarah Gormley did what she was supposed to do. She had a great career in corporate America, lived in New York and was highly successful. But she didn’t feel successful, or happy. It wasn’t until Sarah’s mother received a devastating health diagnosis that Sarah began to reevaluate her life and her choices.

    In her poignant, humor-filled new book, The Order of Things, Sarah tells how a return to her childhood home on a farm in Ohio made her reevaluate her choices as a “gold star chaser.” A believer in both therapy and self-reflection, Sarah describes The Order of Things as a “self-hope” book, offering a true story that reminds the reader it’s never too late to live the life you are meant to live and to discover joy.

    Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we’ve seen how easy it is to get lost in what the world says we should want and do to make us happy. It often takes a sucker punch or train wreck that, while initially devastating, can be the push we need to make decisions that are right for us, not the rest of the world. It takes courage, intention and a willingness to be vulnerable, but as Sarah confirms, it's oh so worth it.

    For updates on The Order of Things, check out Sarah on Instagram at @scgormley. Order your copy of The Order of Things here, and tune into the podcast for these additional bits of Brilliance from Sarah:

    • If I go do the “things,” I’ll catch up. I’ll start to feel better because I’m doing the “things.”
    • That’s what I thought the order was…go do these things and life will be fulfilling. I thought there was an equation. Well guess what? There’s no equation.
    • One of the best things about therapy was that it helped me to understand things. What helped me recalibrate was understanding my childhood differently. If you understand things differently, a lot of anger and pain evaporate.
    • Why is it so terrifying to be our most genuine selves?
    • I love the term ‘recalibraiton.’ It’s about making little changes.
    • Sometimes nothing is more unexpected than joy.

    Let’s be Brilliantly Resilient together!

    XO,

    Mary Fran

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    37 mins

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Listen, learn, laugh? YES!A truly dynamic duo!

MaryFran and Kristen Launched this podcast at the beginning of the pandemic when all of us hit the wall or at least felt normal life been derailed. They seem to recruit some of the most amazing individuals, men women and kids! Each of them share their stories and acquired skills for realigning and in some cases restarting their lives
! Time very well spent and listening!

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