Becoming Eve

My Journey from Ultra-Orthodox Rabbi to Transgender Woman

By: Abby Stein

Narrated by: Abby Stein

The powerful coming-of-age story of an ultra-Orthodox child who was born to become a rabbinic leader and instead became a woman
Abby Stein was raised in a Hasidic Jewish community in Brooklyn, isolated in a culture that lives according to the laws and practices of eighteenth-century Eastern Europe, speaking only Yiddish and Hebrew and shunning modern life. Stein was born as the first son in a dynastic rabbinical family, poised to become a leader of the next generation of Hasidic Jews.

But Abby felt certain at a young age that she was a girl. She suppressed her desire for a new body while looking for answers wherever she could find them, from forbidden religious texts to smuggled secular examinations of faith. Finally, she orchestrated a personal exodus from ultra-Orthodox manhood to mainstream femininity-a radical choice that forced her to leave her home, her family, her way of life.

Powerful in the truths it reveals about biology, culture, faith, and identity, Becoming Eve poses the enduring question: How far will you go to become the person you were meant to be?

Critic reviews

"Becoming Eve is a powerful, heartfelt account of the often fraught journey toward one's true self. In sharing her story, Abby Chava Stein lights the path for all of us who are embarking on journeys of our own."—TOVA MIRVIS, bestselling author of The Book of Separation, The Ladies Auxiliary, and The Outside World

"Becoming Eve is a beautiful, haunting story of self-discovery. Her longing for truth, acceptance, and love will echo in the heart of every reader."—LEAH VINCENT, author of Cut Me Loose: Sin and Salvation After My Ultra-Orthodox Girlhood

"Becoming Eve is a powerful, moving story of grappling with both gender and faith. Abby Chava Stein is a compelling storyteller who shows us how to follow the voice within--even when everyone and everything around us is telling us not to."—DANYA RUTTENBERG, author of Surprised By God and Nurture the Wow

"'No agenda, just my story,' Abby Stein writes in the prologue to her fascinating memoir. And yet, her book delivers on a very definite agenda: helping us empathize with experiences radically different from our own. With humor and grace-and impressive erudition of Jewish mysticism-Abby Stein grants us entry into a singular, otherworldly capsule: the byzantine world of Hasidic 'royal' families and the Sisyphean pursuit of living an authentic life within it.—SHULEM DEEN, author of All Who Go Do Not Return, winner of the Prix Médicis and the National Jewish Book Award

"Abby Stein's soul-searching memoir grabbed me at the epigraph and never let me go. While religion is certainly a central element in the story, Becoming Eve is just as importantly about a different sense of faith: a belief in life's transformative potential to culminate in joy."—SUSAN STRYKER, professor of gender and women's studies, Emmy Award-winning filmmaker, and author of Transgender History: The Roots of Today's Revolution

"Becoming Eve is a vivid journey through Abby Stein's formative years in the Ultra-Orthodox Hasidic Jewish community as she struggles to find a more inclusive expression of her faith and learns to embrace her identity as a woman of trans experience."—SARAH VALENTINE, author of When I Was White

"Not only is Abby a trailblazer and ridiculously inspiring--she's a really talented writer. Becoming Eve is not to be missed."—Alma.com

"The harrowing and inspiring story of the exploration, discovery, and acceptance of her truth, both body and soul."—Publishers Weekly

"Born into an ultra-Orthodox Jewish family, it was always expected that Abby Stein would become a leader in the Hasidic community. But Abby, born a male, knew at a very young age that she identified as a woman. Eventually, she broke free of her community's and family's expectations to become the person she wanted to be."—Parade, ?Memoirs You Need to Be Reading Now?

Brava Abby! A story of love and self-determination

I absolutely enjoyed reading about the intricate parts of the ultra orthodox Jewish community and the intersection of gender transitioning. There is pain related to the religious rigidity and misunderstanding of gender while there is love still. I really appreciate how that was conveyed with such deep appreciation for the people, the culture, the lineage, Judaism, and yet nothing stands in the right to live authentically.

Truely Amazing

An amazing story all trans girls should listen to. Really appreciate that Abby Stein narrated this book. Could clearly hear every word.

Riveting Read

I was enthralled from beginning to end of listening to this book. Thank you to Abby Stein for writing it & reading it to us. Your voice inflections were so vulnerable, you gave us your personality. Thank you for taking us on your life journey. May you go from strength to strength.

Fascinating!

Fascinating insights into what it feels like to be transgender and what it feels like to grow up in the ultraorthodox community. An authentic and compelling story that had me on the edge of my seat from beginning to end.

Compelling—You Won’t Put It Down

Thank you,Abby Stein, for sharing your amazing story. You make a complex situation comprehensible. L’hatzlichah.

Great story with abrupt ending

This was a great story and highly engaging. I found that it ended very abruptly and I wanted to know what happened in Abby’s leaving the community. It felt like a key part of the story was missing. Regardless, highly recommend if you are interested in this genre of memoirs or are looking to learn more about the experience of leaving the ultra orthodox community. Thank you for sharing your story, Abby.

Best book I've read in a long time.

One of the most heartfelt, honest, and raw stories I've had the pleasure of listening to. I'm very thankful to have come across this title that will forever stay with me.

A captivating memoir

It was somewhat different than I expected but a I was not disappointed. It's not a gender transition book, it is more a book on hasidic Judaism. I did not know much about how it is to grow up in the hasidic community, so I learnt a lot. Growing up and knowing you are transgender all your life in this closed community gave the story a unique perspective on transgenderism.

Really touching.

Enjoyed this a lot. Loved the author’s honesty and her accent :). I learned so much about Orthodox Judaism. She is an inspiration.

The Soulful Story of a Male to Female Hasid.

Being somewhat connected to the LGBTQ community I have held up a wall toward the T or transgender part of the LGBQ community. Being attracted to the same gender is quite different than believing you are not the gender you were born in the body of. Either I never gave transgender a chance or I never heard an explanation that gave me any understanding of what being transgender actually means. This book, takes us from way out in right field to the heart and soul, and especially the soul of someone who lived this way since age 2 or 3. She tells of how she knew she was a she, while still being a he. She touches on how her fundamentalist Jewish culture, which is actually not so different from the the rest of society, follows unbending gender roles.

Because the Hasidic Jewish community which Abby grew up in, in Brooklyn, New York is so insular and keeps out knowledge and exposure of the rest of society, including non-orthodox Jews. The thought that she was a she while in a male body did enter and remained in her mind and soul from a very young age.

One gets a rare insight into the sheltered Hasidic Jewish world. We hear (or read) about this world as it is. Much of it quite positive, some not so positive. One does nott at all get the sense that one is being manipulated to show how beautiful nor how ugly the Hasidic Jewish world is or was. Abby shares what she shares with us. mostly just to give us an understanding of what she lived through. No doubt she has more to say. I look forward to hearing more. God bless her. Baruch Hashem.