Love Lives Here

A Story of Thriving in a Transgender Family

By: Amanda Jette Knox

Narrated by: Amanda Jette Knox

Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins

Publisher's Summary

National Best Seller

2020 Canada Reads, Longlisted

An inspirational story of accepting and embracing two trans people in a family - a family who shows what's possible when you "lead with love".

All Amanda Jetté Knox ever wanted was to enjoy a stable life. She never knew her biological father, and while her mother and stepfather were loving parents, the situation was sometimes chaotic. At school, she was bullied mercilessly, and at the age of 14, she entered a counselling program for alcohol addiction and was successful.

While still a teenager, she met the love of her life. They were wed at 20, and the first of three children followed shortly. Jetté Knox finally had the stability she craved - or so it seemed. Their middle child struggled with depression and avoided school. The author was unprepared when the child she knew as her son came out as transgender at the age of 11. Shocked, but knowing how important it was to support her daughter, Jetté Knox became an ardent advocate for trans rights.

But the story wasn't over. For many years, the author had coped with her spouse's moodiness, but that chronic unhappiness was taking a toll on their marriage. A little over a year after their child came out, her partner also came out as transgender. Knowing better than most what would lie ahead, Jetté Knox searched for positive examples of marriages surviving transition. When she found no role models, she determined that her family would become one.

The shift was challenging, but slowly the family members noticed that they were becoming happier and more united. Told with remarkable candour and humour, and full of insight into the challenges faced by trans people, Love Lives Here is a beautiful story of transition, frustration, support, acceptance, and, of course, love.

©2019 Amanda Jette Knox (P)2019 Penguin Random House Canada

Critic Reviews

"[A] success both through strong writing and the crackling feeling on the page that she genuinely loves the shit out of her trans family." (Xtra)

"This sweet and positive account of a family facing obstacles and growing closer together is inspiring." (Publishers Weekly)

"Love Lives Here is an emotionally raw, often funny book that leaves the reader wanting to be Amanda Jetté Knox’s best friend. It’s the story of how people tried to push her down, and will strike a chord with anyone who’s ever been bullied. And that’s a lot of us!" (Ottawa Sun)

Love Grows

I won't be able to adequately voice what this book means to me and why you should purchase it. If you are transgender, an ally, unsure or even opposed, you should read this book. It's not about moving beyond the subject, it's about embracing it and learning from it.

Lovable, powerfully honest and relatable story!

As a mom of a smart, handsome and courageous transgender son, I could relate to this book in so many ways. I've always said that my son is the one person who really taught me about unconditional love. Nothing will ever change that! Thank you for sharing your story and for all that you've done for the LGBTQ community. You're an inspiration!

Terrific book!!

This book started off slowly and I thought maybe is made a mistake by buying it. I kept going and it just kept getting better. I could totally feel all emotions being felt. It just continued getting better until the very end, which was great!! I loved this book overall and I will follow the author's blog now too. I hope she writes about such book. To the author, I say thank you for what you have done for me and slowed me to be, due to the words in your book!! Thank you!!

great strory

I really love the story it's really show up the real love I wish I had this support and love from my family

Exceptional & Enlightening

Jetté Knox has written a proudly authentic and deeply moving memoir allowing us as readers to really get to know each of her family members in an intimate and real way. She speaks candidly about how they arrived at the present moment, with all the twists and turns that reflect the reality of life: nothing is a straight path (pun intentional). For those of us who have lived similar journeys, you will find much identification. For those just beginning to learn about how gender really exists as a lived experience or are looking for a model on how to be a strong ally to GNC/NB and trans folk, this will definitely offer you a good place to start. I wish that everyone could read this book - I believe that it would relieve so much of the ignorance that drives the fear and bigotry that produces. Glad and grateful for authors like this who are willing to do the exceptionally courageous work of sharing their stories in this way.

Heed the Content Warning at the Beginning

***Edit*** I'm going to leave the original, because it's true, but I wanted to add that this is a good book, especially for cis people. I think Amanda sets a pretty good example by describing her missteps and it is refreshing to have a cis person educating other cis people... because, it is exhausting for Trans people. I'm planning on buying a couple of copies just to give them to people in my life.. Thanks, ~Moira ***Original*** Honestly, I'm not quite done with this book, but seriously, the content warning that I heard at the very beginning of this book... hours and days ago, was completely out of mind by the time I reached the actual triggering content. (I half think the author believes the triggering content was the talk of abuse and bullying.... I wonder if she understand how triggering her account of her own behavior is...) What is worse is the author completely blindsides the reader with it. Yeah, there is the whole lead up to her partners coming out alluded to throughout, but, she goes from this happy point with her daughter's journey and then proceeds to throw us off a cliff with how awful she is. The behavior of the author in response to her partner's truth is both horrifying and triggering. It parallels too many responses from cis people who cannot comprehend what it is like for a Trans person... Still, the author should have known better. She talks about how much she wrote about Trans’ issue, talks about how much research she did, she talks... but when it actually comes time for her to put this into practice she outed her partner to virtually all of her friends while leaning on them while her partner had virtually no one. The part about coming home to her in a fetal position in bed is way too similar to my own experiences. I wonder if she has any clue to the depths of despair surging in her partner's mind. I’m not trying to say the author’s emotions weren’t valid. It is a shock, and to quote both the book and myself on many occasions to my own partner… “this isn’t what you signed up for.” Trans people get that, we are, over the whole course of our entire closetted lives, acutely aware of the emotions and expectations of those around us. We spend our lives blaming ourselves for our identities, we spend our lives blaming ourselves for the chaos coming out causes, we know how painful, disruptive, shocking, our coming out is… and every Trans person who comes out does so alone at first, always alone, never really knowing what to expect. This is why this is so toxic. Zoey came out to a person she had reason to think could be trusted, (Not that she came out on her own terms, even that was forced from her) a person who should have been well versed in Trans issues, a person who should have been supportive… She was alone while her partner had a massive support group. She was alone, and as per usual, the cis person with all their friends had to take center stage… The last few hours of this book will probably see some happy ending or journey to peace… Fine, great, wonderful… I have no doubt the author grows and learns from this particularly horrid experience… But there should have been a content warning before this. There should have been something to let Trans people know “Hi all, I’m about to remind you of the most painful, traumatic, toxic moment your coming out… I’m going to dredge up the despair and terror you felt of being alone and abandoned… I’m going to validate that and let you know you were right… I’m about to remind you exactly why you cannot trust cis people and you should just stay in the closet…” That needs a warning. I doubt I’m the only Trans person who had all those dark feelings surge to the surface after listening… Just heed the CW at the beginning of the book. Keep it ever present in your mind as you make your way through.

Love Grows, Glows, and it's Here to Stay

This book is a glowing inspiration and example for LGBTQ+ persons and allies! Unforgettable Read!

amazing story of hardship, happiness, and true lov

such a great story that goes much deeper than you think can. it gives me hope for my own future to find that happiness.

Beautifully written.

As the of a trans teenager I so appreciate Amanda’s courage and transparency. Highly recommended.

The absolute best read I’ve experienced A must read/listen to

This is about the best book I’ve ever “listened” to. Reading it doesn’t do as much justice as listening to it. You can hear her emotions, stress and love for her family. Her struggles are relatable and no different from our own. This author made me laugh, cry and rejoice. If you are trans or the spouse of a trans person this is a must read. This woman gets it. She gets all of it including how gut wrenching the decision to transition really is. Much love.

Trans activism and education at its best

I couldn't wait to get my hands on this book, and it was everything I wanted it to be. Knox does an excellent job of making this book biographical while also giving the readers space to learn and reflect on their own views of the trans community. The book shows exactly why books like this still need to be written and shows how people can come to terms with their own privilege and cis-ness while being activists and allies with the trans community.

Beautiful and uplifting

How do you deal with your life when it takes a unexpected and massive change in direction. Amanda and her family show us how. This book is wonderfully written and presented. It is a shining and inspiring example of how we all should live our lives. It is a book I will be reading again and again .... Thank you Amanda

Utterly wonderful!

Listening to Amanda's story, there was such much to relate to as well as so much to learn about. I'm so grateful to Amanda and her family for sharing their story with the world in this way, I'm sure it will help so many people.

A must read for everyone

This is a stunning, honest, funny, touching and ultimately joyful insight into the life of an exceptional family. Beautifully written, excellently narrated Knox opens the door to her life and invites the reader in with so much love it is impossible to read this without wanting to become part of her family. I am so glad I read this book.

Amazing, heart filled and vulnerable. Listen to it

Loved it. Difficult to pick one part over another. I appreciate Amanda sharing the downs with the ups in their family. Definitely recommend listening to this book!

The book every school library & home should have!

This book is so goddamn lovely. I cannot express how much it has taught me about love, and about acceptance and how sometimes it isn't an easy journey. Every school should have it, to teach children that it is ok to one: Be gay and two: Be trans and three: To not have the a-typical nuclear family. It doesn't mean love is less seen there. The Knox family, honestly, are idols. <3 Please listen to this book, and learn something about love you never thought you needed to learn until now.

Words cannot describe this emotional epic journey!

I started listening to this book last night and i have not been able to put it down until now. Dear Fort Knox Family Thank you for taking a stand, thank you for creating a platform where people can relate and learn. Thank you for your inspirational journey! I am so happy you all got your happy ending. I cant think of more loving and deserving people. I am honestly struggling to find the words in which to describe how I am feeling after having finished your book. AN ABSOLUTE MUST READ!!!!