Sissy

A Coming-of-Gender Story
Narrated by: Jacob Tobia
Length: 11 hrs and 21 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (484 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

The National Best Seller

"Transformative...If Tobia aspires to the ranks of comic memoirists like David Sedaris and Mindy Kaling, Sissy succeeds." (New York Times Book Review)

A heart-wrenching, eye-opening, and giggle-inducing memoir about what it's like to grow up not sure if you're (a) a boy, (b) a girl, (c) something in between, or (d) all of the above. 

"A beautiful book . . . honest and funny." (Trevor Noah, The Daily Show)
"Sensational." (Tyler Oakley)
"Jacob Tobia is a force." (Good Morning America)
"A trans Nora Ephron...both honest and didactic." (OUT Magazine)
"A rallying cry for anyone who's ever felt like they don't belong." (Woman's Day)

As a young child in North Carolina, Jacob Tobia wasn't the wrong gender, they just had too much of the stuff. Barbies? Yes. Playing with bugs? Absolutely. Getting muddy? Please. Princess dresses? You betcha. Jacob wanted it all, but because they were "a boy," they were told they could only have the masculine half. Acting feminine labelled them "a sissy" and brought social isolation. 

It took Jacob years to discover that being "a sissy" isn't something to be ashamed of. It's a source of pride. Following Jacob through bullying and beauty contests, from Duke University to the United Nations to the podiums of the Methodist church - not to mention the parlors of the White House - this unforgettable memoir contains multitudes. A deeply personal story of trauma and healing, a powerful reflection on gender and self-acceptance, and a hilarious guidebook for wearing tacky clip-on earrings in today's world, Sissy guarantees you'll never think about gender - both other people's and your own - the same way again. 

©2019 Jacob Tobia (P)2019 Penguin Audio

Critic Reviews

Sissy bravely moves the needle forward, boldly advocating for a world where people of all genders are treated equally and with dignity. A story of audacity and courage, Sissy is not to be missed.” (Billie Jean King) 

"Across this country young boys are shamed and humiliated for expressing femininity, as well as young girls for expressing masculinity. Jacob bravely seeks to end this culture of shame.” (Monica Lewinsky) 

“Sensational. Gut-punchingly hilarious and full of heart, this is a book that’s sure to change your outlook and how you relate to others. Sissy is guaranteed to make your mascara run from happy and sad tears alike.” (Tyler Oakley) 

Author's Picks

''Trans people know gender better than anyone, and these three authors are no exception.''

Jacob Tobia, author of Sissy
Amateur By: Thomas Page McBee
“One of the most insightful books on manhood ever written, Thomas Page McBee takes listeners on a powerful journey through toxic masculinity as he trains to be the first trans man to box in Madison Square Garden.”
Redefining Realness By: Janet Mock
“Janet's words were balm for my aching heart when I was first contending with what it would mean to be trans in the real world. This is, without a doubt, the book that inspired me to write 'Sissy'. I love you, Janet.”
Gender Outlaw By: Kate Bornstein, S. Bear Bergman
“Auntie Kate was writing trans memoir way before it was cool. I was only three years old when this book was published; that's how long Kate Bornstein has been fighting for all of us as a trans literary trailblazer.”

Editor's Pick

Forget everything you think you know about gender
"Jacob Tobia’s dazzling diamond of a memoir has me thoroughly charmed. Think of your earliest memories—were they playful and happy? For Jacob, those childhood memories were shaped by confusion and pain. As a kid, Jacob liked to explore and roughhouse as much as they daydreamed about lipstick and glitter—but external forces tried to make them feel ashamed of their full identity. Today, Jacob identifies as gender nonbinary, proudly wears lipstick and heels, and uses they/them pronouns. Sissy beautifully explores gender, family, and community, and gives hope and inspiration to anyone on a similar journey of healing and discovery. And you absolutely must listen to Jacob’s performance of their memoir to get the full experience. It sparkles." —Rachel S., Audible Editor

What listeners say about Sissy

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Surprised!

Thank you Jacob for writing a ‘real’ story of a person coming to understand their gender with all the bumps along the way. It was easy to listen to , although truth be known I did winch in a few spots due to my own perceived failings. You are to be congratulated for all your accomplishments in the face of discrimination and adversity.
My daughter started living her true gender about 6 years ago. She is fierce, strong, determined, loving, and funny. Her journey started when she told me she was gay at 11years old. She turns 27 yrs old this year. I love her now just as much as I did the day she was born. We’ve (parent/child) shared our own bumps in the road but our love for each other helped us through it. Your book has given me a glimpse into my daughter’s perspective (which she finds hard to share because she never wants me to worry) and will help me to understand her anger that pops up sometimes. It has also helped me to see that I may feel I am being supportive and inclusive to ALL but I can be so much better.
I am not perfect but I want to be perfectly supportive to my daughter, my family, and myself as we continue down this journey together.
I have no idea if you’ll see this review but thank you Jacob for taking the time to write and read your book. All the very best.

9 people found this helpful

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A story that opens eyes.

As a straight, white, cisgender, able-bodied, christian, male, in a position of power, I’ve realized I need to stretch myself to learn about those who’ve been “othered” in their lives.

This book was smart, funny, and incredibly accessible. I truly enjoyed the author’s voice and learned so much. It’s a story for anyone who wishes to hear.

Great stuff!

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Brilliant

Everyone should read this book - every single person alive. It should be mandatory reading for junior high or high school students.

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Read it now

This book is an absolute must read for anyone and everyone. Read it now. Periodt

1 person found this helpful

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Groundbreaking

A voice and story that was so badly needed, and is now finally being heard.

10 people found this helpful

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Wow. Best audio book ever! Great for anyone & especially non-binary / gender nonconforming people + loved ones

Jacob Tobia is an incredible performer whose voice brings their already hilarious writing to life. For the first time in a while, I actually could not focus on Netflix because all I wanted to do was listen to their book. I cried multiple times, I choked water from laughing, and I related in so many ways it was alarming. (Spoiler alert - we both were in handbell choir?!) I recommend this to anyone and especially non-binary folx out there. 💘

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Thanks Jacob

Amazing. Simply amazing. Your words are fuel for my soul and driving my transition. Sorry I may borrow some to come out to my family.

5 people found this helpful

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Interesting

This was interesting. A new way to think about gender labels. This was very enlightening. A courageous proponent for the equality of all genders.

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fabulous!

I loved it. aresonant, Touching, and Brilliant! Thank you for this well-thought-out, life experience book! Thanks for opening up to yourself and to the readers!

3 people found this helpful

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Grammy Bound!!

This audiobook is mind-blowing. I couldn’t stop listening. Someone nominate Jacob for a Grammy award right now!

3 people found this helpful

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  • Sophie Manley
  • 05-02-20

love or hate

I think this book will be totally amazing for some people. I got to the end which means it wasn't boring. personally, I got pretty fed up of hearing how incredible they are but I appreciate that this mentality is necessary to over come their trauma and also just a part of their extrovert personality!

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  • Romea
  • 07-04-20

Beautiful, amazing and wholesome!

This book has a story that has helped me understand my own gender identity and the many questions I face on a daily as a queer queen!