This week, we're bringing you the first 20 minutes of our discussion about a movie that must be included in the gay canon! If you want to hear the rest of the discussion, check out the link to our Patreon below!

*Cruel Intentions* (1999) may mostly be about the heterosexual pursuits of Manhattan’s filthiest and richest, but it’s overwhelmingly queer coded. The cast includes Buffy Summers, Tracy Flick, Joshua Jackson with a box dye job, a cadre of older character actresses in supporting roles, a Tara Reid cameo, Selma Blair casually stealing the movie and even Eric Mabius as the Gregster. Plus Ryan Philippe’s butt, the spittle string when Kathryn and Cecile famously French kiss in the park, a soundtrack with zero skips, and a deeply satisfying female empowerment ending to the tune of “Bittersweet Symphony.”

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It’s time for Ru to pack up the pink limousine and peel out, but first—an uncanny valley version of a live finale! The Top 3 perform signature songs we’ve never heard before, and two of them are actually pretty great while one of them is sort of growing on us. (On an unrelated note, we do a full autopsy of “Bodysuit” this week.) We get some much welcomed mompreciation, plus Mrs. Wind and Mrs. Cristàl, Malaysia Babydoll Eagle, Sasha Colby (SASHA COLBY, Donna TaDonna) being She Her Hers, and finally, a “Padam Padam” lip sync on Drag Race between a vampire from Philadelphia and a boba-filled banana lady.

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Instead of hashing out old fights while perched on stadium arranged bar stools on either side of the stage, the queens of Season 16 are reuniting to face off in a lip sync bracket for $50,000 and, in Megami’s case, a total rudemption arc. It’s a brand new stage (from Secret Celebrity Drag Race?), a playlist of top tier lip sync songs, Bruno just happy to be there, some girl in the audience high off her heels, and an opportunity for the top three to sit back and be judgey gays in the workroom while the best of the rest put on one of the most entertaining episodes of Drag Race ever.

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The workroom becomes a writers retreat this week as the top four put pen to paper, photo to book cover and personality to podcast for a memoir-able final lap before the finale. Oh and there’s some casual waterboarding during the mini challenge, but at least it comes with a trip to Puerto Vallarta! Nymphia discusses the challenges of meeting Western beauty standards with Matt Rogers, Sapphira slues her way to the top, Q takes a bite out of soup, Plane finally descends to the bottom 2 and RuPaul gets his life as director of those photo shoots.

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What happens in Vegas doesn’t really ever stay in Vegas anymore these days, which is all to say that this week we finally get the makeover challenge! Five backup dancers from Drag Race Vegas LIVE (!) are perfectly paired with our five remaining showgirls--but oh also, we didn't get nearly enough Showgirls references this episode, I know that much. We have a lot to say about Monopoly, GUESS WHO, the blushing police, Ru’s roots in San Diego, that Plane and Lazy workroom connection, the audacity of TS Madison to notice a color story, the potential in the name Susan, this moment that country is having and why Sapphira very much won that lip sync while looking like one of the Knicks.

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There’s no room to rest this week as the top six put their backs into custom bathrooms with thrones fit for a strange German couple played Carson and Michelle. Plane writes all of her worries down on a piece of paper and tears it up, and that is the vulnerability the judges are looking for. Q continues to rue the decisions Ru makes, Morphine loves shit talking, Dawn and Nymphia circle the drain as challenge partners and Sapphira is officially Number 1 in the race by the time she’s scooting down the runway looking like a Dalmatian in a gimp mask. Alas, the sun sets on the morning glory of Brooklyn, but at least we all discovered a new Pit Crew crush.

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It’s a mandatory meeting this week as the queens give HR presentations to a live studio audience! (Really.) Joel Kim Booster is on hand to give the girls a boost but no one quite understands the assignment, including us. Sapphira stumbles and shines but we’ll probably remember Mhi’ya the most, and we’d like to know more about that midday after party. The Miami girls get a little Florida in the lip sync, and we finally say goodbye to the Unsinkable Miss LaPaige.

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Pardon our delay this week and slight audio snafu starting about 17 minutes in, but if you take anything away from this episode, it’s that Mhi’ya chooses Equal, Ethan Embry was not in the movie Frailty, neither of us get SpongeBob references, clapping along requires a lot of group trust, we have very subjective reactions to Leland on the keys and The Traitors really changes your view of how reality show competitions should be played. Also no one goes home and we have questions about the runway palette but you’ll hear all that on the episode, you’ve waited long enough. Tot ziens!

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Web: www.alrightmary.com