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All the Rage

Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership
Narrated by: Abby Craden
Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (42 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Picking up where All Joy and No Fun left off, All the Rage sets out to understand why, in an age of so-called equality, full-time working mothers still carry.

The inequity of domestic life is one of the most profound and perplexing conundrums of our time. In an era of seemingly unprecedented feminist activism, enlightenment, and change, data shows that one area of gender inequality stubbornly remains: the unequal amount of parental work that falls on women, no matter their class or professional status. All the Rage investigates the cause of this pervasive inequity to answer why, in households where both parents work full-time, mothers’ contributions - even those women who earn more than their partners - still outweigh fathers’ when it comes to raising children and maintaining a home. 

How can this be? How, in a culture that has studied and lauded the benefits of fathers’ being active, present partners in child-rearing - benefits that extend far beyond the well-being of the kids themselves - can a commitment to fairness in marriage melt away upon the arrival of children?

Darcy Lockman drills deep to find answers, exploring how the feminist promise of true domestic partnership almost never, in fact, comes to pass. Starting with her own case study as ground zero, she moves outward, chronicling the experiences of a diverse cross-section of women raising children with men; visiting new mothers’ groups and pioneering co-parenting specialists; and interviewing experts across academic fields, from gender studies professors and anthropologists to neuroscientists and primatologists. 

Lockman identifies three tenets that have upheld the cultural gender division of labor and peels back the reasons both men and women are culpable. Her findings are startling - and offer a catalyst for true change.

©2019 Darcy Lockman (P)2019 HarperCollins Publishers

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The book that more women need

This book was amazing! It really laid out my biggest concerns about having children and made me feel like I'm no longer being gaslighted. Women doing most of the work of childcare is a result of our patriarchal society and deep socialization... It is NOT "natural". We need to fight the system and I feel like this book is a great start. We need to fight the system for everyone's happiness.

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Validating

Loved the content and the performance. This book is everything I've felt for so many years actually written out and explained.

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Must read for men

It was almost overwhelming how often this book described the patterns of inequity that exist in my own marriage, and the things my wife says her friends also experience with their husbands. The mental load is a real thing, and this book is an incredible resource for helping to get your head out of your ...
Any man who is surprised by the resentment women feel needs to read this.

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Amazing book!

Thank you for putting down on paper everything that women all over the world have known and felt for decades. I feel seen and heard. I feel validated. I feel overwhelmed with what we are trying to achieve as women in this world. The weight of it seems to always fall to us, but hopefully, men will read this book as well and finally take it upon themselves to pick up their equal share and do the right thing... and their kids will see them doing it.