Mostrando resultados por autor "David Lee Stone" en Todas las categorías

Maternal love takes a sinister turn, when a young man discovers that his mother is not quite what she seems. An ancient legend looms over a local street, as the neighborhood children search for their missing friends. And a woman awakens to the ultimate nightmare, after her bad taste in men leads to a horrifying predicament.…

Not all fairy tales are about damsels in distress—some are about strong-willed girls who take matters into their own hands! In a twisted fairytale kingdom where Goldilocks walks around with a sledgehammer and the three bears dread buying the sort of furniture that's just right, a gang of marauding princesses begin to terrorise the community with a new brand of martial arts. All that stands between them and total chaos is Dimple Cute, the only daughter of a King who - for reasons known only to himself - parades around the court wearing a squirrel costume. When Dimple Cute finds herself ...

A deadly killer stalks the rain-soaked streets of Shinbone, spreading panic and terror among the townsfolk. The authorities are baffled, partly because there hasn’t been a single crime in Shinbone for more than a hundred years but mostly because this particular deadly killer… …isn’t actually killing anyone. Enter Hieronymous Blush, master magician and the detective responsible for solving the mystery of The Lickspittle Leviathan. Can one man stand alone against the demonic threat of The Shinbone Shadowhunter? Of course not: he can’t even tie his own shoes. The race is on….

The complete Vanquish Trilogy, includes Shadow of the Shapeshifter, The Venom of Vanquish and The Might of Moltenoak. Shadow of the Shapeshifter Two strangers in the wrong place at the worst possible time...a lone assassin prepared to do the dirtiest of jobs...and a guard sentry determined to stop him. A dark enemy is about to rise in Illmoor, something even more chaotic and twisted than the citizens themselves. Step forward Enoch Dwellings, master sleuth, who boasts a reputation built entirely on an intricate web of carefully calculated lies. Together with his hapless but increasingly ...

David Lee Stone has been a chronic oversharer since the moment he first learned to talk. In this brutally honest memoir told through a series of therapy sessions David recounts many hilarious tales from the 80s and 90s, recounting the lessons he’s learned. These include cautionary tales on why it’s never a good idea to deal with retail customers' complaints using a sock puppet, why it was entirely possible to order obscene items that didn’t exist back in the glorious days of Blockbuster Video, why discovering what your dog REALLY thinks of you is a bad idea and how the sort of BMX ...

An ancient and malevolent god sits on the High Throne of Illmoor, commanding obsidian dragons and raising the dead to fight in his frenzied armies. While a ragtag group of misfits and freedom fighters attempts to withstand the oppression of Vanquish, all hope for the future of the continent begins to fade. Elsewhere, a lone figure moves quietly through the countryside, unseen and unchallenged until one fateful night, when the werewolves get hungry… …and unwittingly disturb something even more dangerous than the despotic entity that has risen to dominate the land.

When a ragged band of mercenaries happen upon an ancient artefact in a hidden ruin, they unwittingly trigger a series of events that will have dire consequences for the entire population of Illmoor. While they hurtle towards a major conflict with the most twisted and malevolent mind in the land, an impostor sits on the Dullitch throne, his illusion sustained by the sort of dark magic that always comes at a price… Originally published as The Vanquish Vendetta by Hodder in the UK

When a legendary barbarian king vanishes without a trace, the entire realm is thrown into chaos. The only option open to the government is to send out a search party consisting of the king’s halfwit brother and a guard captain with such an attitude problem that he could comfortably pick a fight with a scarecrow. Nevertheless, mustering the same combined IQ as a pair of elderly sloths and marginally less initiative, they will boldly search the fields and forests for an 8ft armoured-killing machine with muscles likes rocks who is known to play the sort of practical jokes that end in chaos. ...

Davey Swag is not your average pirate. Orphaned as a nipper by the demonically evil Henry Morgan, he sets out on a path of revenge that will take him far across the Caribbean to the island home of a very peculiar legend. Curse of the Voodoo Ostrich is a tale of magic, mystery and…and really ugly birds that just won’t stay dead.

A terrible sect has arisen is Dullitch: they're dark, they're deadly and they're even more hell bent on the destruction of the city than the citizens themselves. All that stands between total chaos and the return of the dark gods are Duke Modeset (who doesn't like the place anyway), Jareth Obegarde (a vampire on his Mother's side) and Jimmy Quickstint (who is about to do the WRONG favour for the WRONG man). This is a thrilling story of darkness and destiny, where the brave step forward...and fall over.

Dances With Drumsticks is a darkly imaginative collection of science fiction, fantasy, and horror short stories by David Lee Stone. Each tale pulls you into a world where the bizarre and the eerie collide. A tormented child with a sinister imaginary friend. A dystopian future where society is gripped by a deadly disease A long-abandoned spaceship with a very odd crew and morePrepare for a journey through twisted realities, where the line between the mundane and the macabre is constantly blurred.

Groan Teethgrit and Gordo Goldeaxe have looted one village too many, and now the Lords of Illmoor are baying for their blood. Can Duke Modeset, exiled Lord of Dullitch, devise a plan clever enough to topple the duo AND Groan's equally reckless half-brother? Of course he can't, he's next to useless himself ... ... but he does have one secret weapon: an extremely beautiful princess who seems willing to do absolutely nothing for the good of her country.

...the natural heir to Terry Pratchett (SFRevu) David Lee Stone is a wonderfully mad talent to watch. He has a truly original comic voice and you won't forget his hysterically hopeless (rather than heroic) characters in a hurry! (Wendy Cooling) The Illmoor Chronicles include all the ingredients any self respecting young, or indeed old, bookworm could desire - wizards, goblins, sprites and vampires, plus a lot of comedy. (Kent on Sunday) Take a bucketful of Blackadder, mix in a dollop of Harry Potter, add a splash of Lord of the Rings, shake vigorously and you end up with this hilarious ...

A dark enemy is about to rise in Illmoor, something even more chaotic and twisted than the citizens themselves. Step forward Enoch Dwellings, a master sleuth who boasts a reputation built entirely on an intricate web of carefully calculated lies. Together with his hapless but increasingly inept assistant, Doctor Wheredad (no medical training whatsoever), he will do anything it takes to solve a crime that might actually end up costing him more than his own life.