Episodios

  • Ep.6 - How to Have Hard Conversations | Wounds, Wisdom, and the Word Podcast

    Ep.6 - How to Have Hard Conversations | Wounds, Wisdom, and the Word Podcast
    Nov 6 2025
    Watch the video version here: https://youtu.be/m9B3ApazFfIEmail us @ Jimdouglasgregory@gmail.com🎙️ Show Notes — Episode: How to Have Hard ConversationsHosts:Jamie Shepherd — Counselor and communication coachDoug Gregory — Minister and co-hostOverview:This episode explores how to navigate difficult conversations—the kind that most people avoid but desperately need. Jamie and Doug discuss practical wisdom rooted in Scripture and real-life experience for creating healthy dialogue, maintaining peace, and promoting understanding in relationships, marriages, workplaces, and churches.🧠 Main Themes & Key Insights1. Why We Avoid Hard ConversationsFear of conflict, rejection, or escalation often keeps people silent.Avoidance breeds stress, resentment, and misunderstanding.Doug shares how one good conversation can often dissolve long-standing tension.2. The Role of Psychological Safety“Psychological safety” means both people feel safe enough to speak honestly without fear of attack.Once safety is lost, people stop listening and start fighting.Proverbs 15:1 — “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (ESV)3. Speaking the Truth in LoveEphesians 4:15 — “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.” (ESV)Truth without love crushes; love without truth deceives.Learn to balance honesty with gentleness and tact.4. Learning from Paul on Mars Hill (Acts 17:22-31)Paul began with common ground, not condemnation.He acknowledged the Athenians’ religious zeal before guiding them to truth.Effective communication starts with shared humanity: “Find what you have in common before pointing out where you differ.”5. Building Bridges Instead of WallsThe root of “communication” is “common.” It’s about making understanding common between two minds.Look for shared values—family, faith, purpose—as foundations for hard discussions.6. Avoiding Assumptions“Assumptions sink ships.”Clarify motives before reacting; ask, don’t assume.Example: The subway story of a father and his children reminds us not to judge before we know the full story.7. Using ‘I’ Statements Instead of ‘You’ Statements“You” language provokes defensiveness; “I” language invites empathy.Example: Instead of saying “You canceled and ruined my day,” say “I felt disappointed when we couldn’t record because I value our project.”8. Preparing for Crucial ConversationsDon’t go in impulsively. Prepare emotionally and mentally.Be ready to hear hard truths, not just speak them.Focus on seeking understanding, not control.9. Self-Worth and AdvocacyOften, we avoid hard talks because we doubt our worth.You can’t wait for others to advocate for you—you must speak up for yourself with humility and respect.“Nobody will advocate for you like you.”10. Application to Marriage and Everyday LifeMany marriage conflicts stem from silence, not shouting.“We don’t ever fight” often means “we don’t ever talk.”Growth comes through honest, grace-filled communication.📖 Key Scriptures:Proverbs 15:1 – A soft answer turns away wrath.Ephesians 4:15 – Speak the truth in love.Acts 17:22-31 – Paul finds common ground at Mars Hill.Matthew 18:15 – Go directly to your brother to resolve conflict.💬 Quotes to Remember:“You may be right—but in the wrong tone.” – Doug Gregory“Assumptions sink ships.” – Jamie Shepherd“You statements are the quickest way to put someone on the defensive.” – Doug Gregory“Nobody will advocate for you like you.” – Doug Gregory🛠️ Practical TakeawaysCreate safety before speaking truth.Use I feel… when… because… statements.Ask questions to understand, not accuse.Release the need to control the outcome.Build bridges with empathy and shared values.Prepare prayerfully and emotionally before hard talks.💌 Listener Invitation:Have a question about a difficult conversation in your life? Email your scenario (without names) for a possible future Q&A episode at: jimdouglasgregory@gmail.com
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    51 m
  • Ep. 5 - Hope For Healing

    Ep. 5 - Hope For Healing
    Oct 30 2025

    Watch the video version here: https://youtu.be/vYOT86LXTWI
    Email us at jimdouglasgregory@gmail.com

    🎧 SHOW NOTES — “Hope for Healing”

    Episode Summary

    In this episode, Doug Gregory and Jamie Shepherd continue the “Wounds, Wisdom & the Word” series by exploring how faith and practical tools can help us heal from trauma. Building on previous discussions about generational pain and learned behavior, this conversation centers on what comes next—how to move from awareness to action through spiritual grounding, brain science, and intentional healing practices.

    Key Themes

    • Proverbs 11:14 (ESV): “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”
      → God designed us for community and healing through wise counsel.
    • How the brain’s design reflects God’s wisdom: survival instincts, emotional processing, and higher reasoning.
    • Understanding the amygdala, the “alarm system” that becomes oversensitive after trauma.
    • Differentiating between the thinking brain and the doing brain—and how trauma keeps us stuck in reaction mode.
    • “Walmart tools” — quick coping skills usable anywhere:
      • Deep breathing and the “psychological sigh.”
      • Grounding and progressive muscle relaxation.
      • Refocusing the mind during panic or anxiety.
    • “At-home practices” for sustainable healing:
      • Walking, stretching, yoga, and creativity as outlets.
      • Journaling morning and night.
      • Prayer and meditation — “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10 ESV).
      • The importance of safe relationships and companionship.
    • Therapeutic paths for deeper healing:
      • EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) — using eye movement to reprocess memories and lessen triggers.
      • Brainspotting — locating where trauma is stored and releasing it.
      • IFS (Internal Family Systems) — reconnecting fragmented parts of the self.
      • Traditional talk therapy, CBT, and somatic approaches.
    • Hope in God’s design: The same Creator who made the body to heal a wound also made the mind capable of healing when given time, faith, and care.

    Takeaway

    Healing doesn’t erase what happened—it reorders it. Through God’s design, supportive community, and the courage to do the work, we can find hope for healing and live beyond what broke us.
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    1 h y 2 m
  • Ep.4 - Why Do I Do That? | Breaking Generational Patterns Through Faith and Psychology

    Ep.4 - Why Do I Do That? | Breaking Generational Patterns Through Faith and Psychology
    Oct 11 2025
    Email us at: jimdouglasgregory@gmail.com🎙️ Episode Title: Why Do I Do That?Podcast: Wounds, Wisdom, & The Word Hosts: Jamie Shepherd & Doug Gregory Length: ~51 minutes Theme: Understanding generational and behavioral patterns—why we repeat them, and how faith and awareness help us change them.🔍 Episode OverviewJamie and Doug dive into the question, “Why do I do that?”—exploring the deep roots of our behaviors, habits, and thought patterns. Through a humorous story about cooking a ham, they unpack the concept of intergenerational trauma and how our upbringing “programs” us to live, react, and relate in certain ways.This episode blends psychology, neuroscience, and biblical truth, helping listeners recognize inherited patterns and take intentional steps toward spiritual and emotional renewal.🧠 Key Topics & Takeaways1. The Ham Story: How Habits BeginThree generations cut the end off the ham—without knowing why.Lesson: Traditions and patterns often outlive their original purpose.This simple story illustrates intergenerational transmission—how behaviors are learned and repeated without question.“We do things without thinking because that’s how we were taught—or it’s the only way we know how.”2. Programming and the Human MindDoug compares childhood learning to computer programming.Computers (and people) only do what they’re programmed to do—unless that code is rewritten.Childhood environments teach us how to function and survive, for better or worse.Two ways we’re “programmed”:Instructional learning: What we’re told.Modeling: What we observe.3. Crucible LearningJamie explains “crucible learning” — lessons formed under pressure and pain.Families with chronic stress (disability, poverty, single parenting, etc.) become high-heat environments that shape a child’s coping strategies.These experiences may teach survival, not thriving.4. Biblical Parallels: Israel’s Generational CyclesThe Israelites’ wilderness wanderings show how patterns of disbelief and disobedience are learned generationally (Numbers 32:10-13).Though sin isn’t inherited, influence is (Ezekiel 18:20).Our families teach us both faith and failure—each generation must choose differently.Ezekiel 18:20 (ESV): “The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father… The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself.”5. Modern Generational ShiftsDoug discusses the pendulum swing between emotional suppression and emotional overexpression.From the Great Depression to today’s “my truth” culture, every generation reacts against the last.Challenge for the Church: Learning intergenerational empathy—sharing wisdom and listening humbly.6. The Role of Fathers and Family DynamicsFathers are called to lead spiritually and lovingly (Ephesians 6:4).Absence or emotional unavailability in fathers deeply affects children.Single-parent homes and broken family systems require intentional role models (grandparents, church mentors, etc.).God’s design for family is perfect; our human imperfections make it messy—but redeemable.Ephesians 6:4 (ESV): “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”7. Breaking the CycleIt’s possible to rewrite your “code.”Neuroplasticity allows the brain to form new pathways.Repetition and new experiences lay fresh “tracks” over old ruts.Like a trail in tall grass, old habits fade when you stop walking them.The familiar isn’t always the healthy.“Old neural pathways are comfortable—not because they’re good, but because they’re familiar.”8. Practical Steps for ChangeAwareness: Ask “Why do I do that?” without defensiveness.Perspective: Counseling and community reveal new options.Repetition: Practice new behaviors until they feel natural.Forgiveness: Let go of blame toward parents or past generations.Faith: Lean on Scripture and God’s design for renewal.“Be transformed by the renewal of your mind…” — Romans 12:2 (ESV)9. Tools for HealingDoug and Jamie tease the next episode: Building Your Emotional Toolbox.Learning to replace unhealthy tools (coping, reactions) with biblical and healthy alternatives.Counseling, prayer, community, and Scripture become tools for transformation.📚 Recommended ResourcesI Never Knew I Had a Choice — Gerald CoreyBible passages:Numbers 32:10-13Ezekiel 18:20Ephesians 6:4Romans 12:2Topic keywords: intergenerational trauma, family systems, neuroplasticity, spiritual leadership, emotional healing💬 Memorable Quotes“Programming doesn’t make you bad—it just means you haven’t been updated yet.”“Sin doesn’t transfer, but influence does.”“They’re dead—they don’t care if you’re cutting the end off the ham. Stop doing what no longer serves you.”“You can’t put the end of the ham back on—but you can stop cutting it off next time.”“God’s design is perfect. It’s our ...
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    51 m
  • Ep. 3 - Sometimes Life Happen

    Ep. 3 - Sometimes Life Happen
    Sep 24 2025

    Contact us @ jimdouglasgregory@gmail.com

    Sometimes Life Happens — Wounds, Wisdom & the Word (Ep. 3)

    Summary

    When “life happens” all at once—panic triggers, a family car breakdown, and a violent crash right in front of you—how do you keep it together? Jamie and Doug unpack a whirlwind week that led from crisis triage on the roadside to unexpected gratitude, church family support, and even a soul obeying the gospel. Along the way they talk trauma, coping, the myth of “having it all together,” and learning to thank the parts of us that helped us survive—while letting them rest.

    Chapter Markers (approx.)

    • 00:00 – Welcome & why we missed last week; “Sometimes Life Happens” theme.
    • 03:06 – Doug’s week: physical illness, a trigger tied to prior pastoral trauma (infant death call), panic/dissociation.
    • 08:16 – Emergency in Nashville: the Denali’s shifter linkage breaks; stress spikes.
    • 09:50 – The crash: car in front of Doug gets T-boned; he stops to help amid glass and smoke.
    • 11:36 – Triage on the shoulder: controlling severe facial bleeding, shock, and keeping the victim talking about her kids until EMS arrives.
    • 15:28 – She codes in the ambulance; life-flight to Skyline; Doug processes the aftermath.
    • 21:47 – The church shows up: car seats, funds, medicine—needs met and then some.
    • 23:39 – Hospital visit, providential layers, and—on Monday night—the husband obeys the gospel.
    • 31:26 – “Baling-wire faith”: doing what you can with what you have (and why “barely holding it together” is still holding it together).
    • 44:13 – Comfort vs. familiar: why dysfunction can feel “normal,” and how perspective breaks the spell.
    • 49:20 – Thank the survival parts, then release them from duty.
    • 50:35 – Closing & Scripture.

    Key Themes & Takeaways

    • Trauma can ambush on ordinary days. Triggers may resurface old wounds without warning; name what’s happening and ground yourself.
    • Small actions matter in big moments. Pressure on a wound, calm words, and presence can change a family’s future.
    • Church family as first responders. Practical help (seats, meds, money, rides) reveals Christ’s love in motion.
    • “Barely” is still victory. If you “barely held it together,” you still held it together; celebrate that.
    • Comfort ≠ Healthy. What’s familiar can be dysfunctional; seek new, healthier normals with wise support.
    • Retire old survival strategies. Thank the parts that kept you alive, then release them so growth can happen.

    Scripture (ESV)

    • Hebrews 13:2 — “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” (Used in the episode’s close.)

    Practical Tools Mentioned

    • Grounding & self-talk: naming panic, orienting to the present, giving yourself credit for “holding on.”
    • Perspective-taking in counseling: viewing younger “you” with compassion; outside-in reframing.

    Listener Reflection Questions

    1. When have you “barely” held it together—and what helped you keep going?
    2. Which familiar patterns in your life are comfortable but not healthy? What one step could you take toward a new normal?
    3. Who around you might need practical love this week (a ride, a meal, a bill covered)?

    Content Advisory

    This episode includes references to traumatic events (infant death scene, car crash, severe injury, dissociation/panic). Listener discretion advised.

    Call to Action

    • Share the episode with someone who’s in a hard season.
    • Tell us your story or ask for prayer/support—reply with a message or email.
    • Subscribe & review to help others find the show.

    Want this turned into a formatted blog post, YouTube description, or social captions (FB/TikTok/IG) with hashtags? I can spin those up from the same transcript next.

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    52 m
  • Ep.2 - Trauma 101: Big T, Little t, or Mr. T

    Ep.2 - Trauma 101: Big T, Little t, or Mr. T
    Sep 12 2025

    Episode 2: Trauma 101 – Big T, Little t, or Mr. T


    To reach out to us, please email us at jimdouglasgregory@gmail.com. Please include WW&TW in the subject line.
    Podcast: Wounds, Wisdom & The Word
    Hosts: Doug & Jamie

    Introduction

    • Episode 2 opens with gratitude for the unexpected support and feedback from listeners after Episode 1.
    • Title playfully references “Big T, little t, or Mr. T” to frame a discussion on trauma and its impact.

    Defining Trauma

    • Clinical definition: A deeply distressing or disturbing experience with lasting psychological effects.
    • Practical definition: The lasting emotional, mental, and sometimes physical impact of overwhelming or painful experiences—“too big to handle at the time.”

    Types of Trauma

    • Physical – Bodily injury or harm.
    • Emotional – Includes witnessing traumatic events.
    • Sexual – Assault or abuse.
    • Developmental – Neglect or abuse during childhood.
    • Complex – Repeated exposure to trauma.
    • Moral – Witnessing or participating in unethical/harmful acts.

    Trauma’s Effects

    • Always changes worldview – reshaping how people see themselves and others.
    • Loss of control is often central to traumatic experiences.
    • Example: 9/11 created lasting trauma for both direct victims and distant witnesses.

    Stigma & Faith

    • Some families and faith communities dismiss trauma and mental health struggles.
    • Proverbs 1:7 (ESV) – “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.”
    • Therapy and science are not opposed to faith but uncover truths about God’s creation.
    • Believers are encouraged not to ignore trauma or reject treatment.

    Symptoms of Trauma

    Physical: Chronic headaches, fatigue, back pain, appetite/sleep changes.
    Emotional: Anxiety, depression, fear, guilt, shame, nightmares.
    Cognitive: Trouble concentrating, memory issues, confusion.
    Behavioral: Avoidance, hypervigilance, substance abuse, unhealthy coping.

    Big T vs. little t

    • Big T trauma: Sexual abuse, natural disasters, terrorism, war, severe medical events, sudden loss, neglect.
    • little t trauma: Emotional neglect, perfectionism, people-pleasing, unhealthy relationships, bullying, parental pressure, infidelity.
    • Trauma is relative: Impact depends on age, background, culture, and lived experience.
    • Key insight: Trauma isn’t just what happened—it’s how it was processed and stored.

    Trauma & the Brain

    • Amygdala = alarm system.
    • In trauma, the alarm gets “stuck on,” leading to hypervigilance and overreactions.
    • Trauma alters brain chemistry, leaving people in constant fight-or-flight mode.

    Coping & Addiction

    • Many addictions (alcohol, drugs, food, porn, even Netflix) serve as numbing strategies.
    • All activate the same dopamine/reward centers in the brain.
    • Paul’s struggle in Romans 7:15–25 reflects the inner war between intention and harmful choices.
    • The root problem isn’t always the addiction itself, but unresolved trauma beneath it.

    Validation & Healing

    • Traumatized individuals often lacked validation of their experiences.
    • Validation means acknowledging pain while building resilience.
    • Example: Responding to a bullied child with empathy and support, not dismissal.

    Closing

    • Doug shares his original poem “I Hate You Trauma”—an honest reflection on loss, grief, and hope in Christ.
    • Reminder: Healing is possible, scars can bless others, and God provides strength and community.
    • Teaser: Next episode will cover transgenerational trauma—“the gift that keeps on giving.”

    Key Scriptures

    • Proverbs 1:7
    • Proverbs 23:9
    • Proverbs 12:25
    • Luke 21:34
    • Romans 7:15–25

    Takeaways

    • Trauma is real, multifaceted, and affects everyone differently.
    • It alters the brain and body, influencing choices and behaviors.
    • Faith, therapy, and community are not at odds—together, they bring healing.
    • Recognizing trauma is the first step toward reclaiming peace and purpose.
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    55 m
  • Ep.1 - Introductions & Hope

    Ep.1 - Introductions & Hope
    Sep 5 2025

    💬 Have a question, topic idea, or encouraging word? Email Us @ Jimdouglasgregory@gmail.com Please include WW&TW in the subject line.

    Watch the video version here: https://youtu.be/i0kxHy2JqEw

    Show Notes:

    🎙️ Wounds, Wisdom & The Word – Episode 1: Hope

    Episode Summary

    In the very first episode of Wounds, Wisdom & The Word, hosts Doug Gregory (preacher, West Side Church of Christ) and Jamie Shepherd (licensed marriage & family therapist specializing in trauma) introduce the heart behind their new podcast. Together, they address the struggles Christians face, the lies of isolation, and the life-giving reality of hope.

    This conversation weaves together real-life experiences, biblical insight, and therapeutic wisdom, reminding listeners that no matter how dark the season, there is always hope in Christ.

    Key Themes & Highlights

    • Why This Podcast?
      • A safe place for Christians who struggle.
      • Not about “just pray harder,” but real conversations about wounds and healing.
      • Goal: give listeners hope.
    • Meet the Hosts
      • Doug Gregory: Preacher in Elkton, KY; transparent about his own mental health journey.
      • Jamie Shepherd: Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist; experienced in trauma counseling and trained in EMDR & brainspotting.
    • Core Pillars of the Podcast
      • Wounds: Everyone carries wounds—emotional pain registers in the same part of the brain as physical pain. Healing means turning wounds into scars that become part of your story.
      • Wisdom: Not just knowledge, but rightly applied understanding (Proverbs 1; Ecclesiastes 3). Sometimes wisdom means resting or listening to your body.
      • The Word: God has given us all things for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). Scripture speaks to our mental health struggles—like Paul’s words on anxiety (Philippians 4:6).
    • Hope in the Midst of Storms
      • Acts 27: The sailors abandoned “hope” in the storm, but still made it safely to land.
      • Message: It does no good to throw hope overboard—don’t give up.
    • Faith Meets Therapy
      • Trauma is stored in the body (“The Body Keeps the Score”).
      • Survival responses are valid, but healing requires new patterns.
      • Addiction is not the root problem—it’s often a symptom of deeper wounds.

    Memorable Quotes

    • “Sometimes hope is just knowing that you’re not alone.” – Doug
    • “Your wounds don’t need to be fixed; they need to be healed—and healing leaves scars that tell your story.” – Jamie
    • “We can hold hope for you until you find it again.” – Jamie
    • “It does no good to throw hope overboard.” – Doug

    Scripture References

    • Proverbs 1:5–7 – Wisdom, knowledge, and understanding.
    • Ecclesiastes 3:1 – A time for everything under heaven.
    • 2 Peter 1:3 – God has given us all things for life and godliness.
    • Philippians 4:6 – Do not be anxious, but bring everything to God in prayer.
    • Acts 27:20, 44 – Even when hope seemed lost, God brought them safely through.

    Resources Mentioned

    • Book: The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
    • Therapies: EMDR, Brainspotting
    • Ministry: Transformation Through Christ (Elkton, KY)

    Connect & Future Plans

    • Coming soon: website, contact email, and listener Q&A episodes.
    • Weekly releases planned, featuring both biblical teaching and real-life stories.
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    57 m