Many couples don’t lose love after becoming parents. They lose exposure.

In this episode, we explore why emotional connection can feel thin, even when there’s commitment, shared history, and genuine care. Why you may feel appreciated, needed, even admired… yet still not deeply known.

This isn’t another conversation about communication techniques or “trying harder.” It’s about something far more uncomfortable and far more powerful.

Drawing from years of therapeutic work, I share a surprising insight from inside the therapy room: people become magnetic not when they are impressive, articulate, or well-regulated, but when they allow themselves to be seen beneath the performance.

We unpack the quiet paradox so many of us live with: You crave intimacy, yet you hide the very parts of you that would create it.

Not because you’re dishonest, but because at some point, it stopped feeling safe to show up fully.

This episode explores how emotional intimacy actually forms, why so many relationships feel emotionally flat after parenthood (or just time…), and how self-protection (not lack of love) slowly erodes closeness.

And importantly, we talk about what vulnerability is not: - It’s not oversharing. - It’s not emotional dumping. - It’s not collapsing boundaries.

It’s allowing honest parts of you into the room, intentionally, safely, and without armor.

If you’ve ever thought:

• “My partner doesn’t really see me”
• “I feel alone even though I’m not”
• “We talk, but it doesn’t land”

this episode will help you understand why, and what actually deepens connection.

Listen to Episode 66 next

Website | Podbean | Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube (video)

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🔔 Subscribe for more parenting insights 📩 Join my [FREE] newsletter for extra support 🤝 Grab resources to support your parenthood and relationship journey 📢 Share this with a parent who needs to hear it!

--- Full Transcript HERE. — Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter

📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com) 🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com

Motherhood today isn’t just exhausting. It’s mentally relentless.

In this episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, I sit down with Valerie Recore, productivity coach for moms and certified Fair Play facilitator, to unpack what’s really happening beneath the surface of modern parenting.

This isn’t a conversation about doing more, delegating better, or “just asking for help.” It’s about the mental load, the invisible labor, and the emotional weight mothers carry, often even when partners are willing and well-intentioned.

We explore why this generation of mothers feels uniquely overwhelmed, why comparison culture intensifies burnout, and how resentment quietly builds inside relationships when responsibility isn’t truly shared from beginning to end.

You’ll hear why asking “What do you need me to do?” can actually make things worse.. and how tools like the Fair Play Method shift couples from fighting each other to working together against the problem.

This episode is especially for couples navigating parenthood, identity shifts, and the silent tension that grows when one partner becomes the default manager of life.

It’s honest. It’s validating. And it’s deeply practical.

1. Why the mental load isn’t about tasks - it’s about constant vigilance
2. How “help” can still leave mothers feeling alone and resentful
3. What the Fair Play Method actually changes inside relationships
4. Why values, flexibility, and emotional safety matter more than perfection

🎧 If you’ve ever thought “Why am I so tired even when I’m not doing everything?” — this conversation will feel like a deep exhale.

👇

For 1 insight, 1 exclusive tool, and one 3-minute reset,

Get on The Sunday Reconnect

—

ABOUT VALERIE RECORE

Valerie Recore is a productivity coach and a Certified Fair Play Method Facilitator. She teaches moms how to get it all done because nobody should feel like they’re failing at motherhood. Whether they work full-time, stay home full-time, or fall somewhere in between, moms call her when they’re ready to stop sacrificing their health and relationships to get it all done. Through their work together, moms start feeling more present with their families and go to bed knowing they focused on their goals.

How to Connect with Valerie:

website: https://strideproductivity.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strideproductivity/

10-Minute Task Triage: https://expert-innovator-4217.kit.com/63e9ecbed6

–-

🔔 Subscribe for more parenting insights 📩 Join my [FREE] newsletter for extra support 📢 Share this with a parent who needs to hear it!

--- Full Transcript HERE. — Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter 👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge

📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com) 🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com

The holidays are supposed to feel magical, but for many couples, they quietly become a season of exhaustion, tension, and unspoken resentment.

Behind the twinkling lights and wrapped gifts often sits one overwhelmed partner (usually a mother) carrying dozens of invisible tasks: remembering, planning, budgeting, anticipating everyone’s needs, and holding the emotional weight of “making it special.”

In this episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, we peel back the glitter to talk honestly about the mental load of holiday gift giving - why it feels so heavy, why it’s often gendered, and what it’s doing to your relationship.

Drawing from research, real client stories, and lived experience, this conversation isn’t about blaming partners or canceling holidays altogether.

It’s about making the invisible visible, understanding how cultural expectations and perfectionism fuel burnout, and learning how couples can share the load more equitably, without losing joy, connection, or meaning.

You’ll hear why stress around money and gifts so often turns into resentment, how socialization quietly assigns “holiday management” to mothers, and why many well-intentioned partners genuinely don’t see the cognitive labor involved.

Most importantly, you’ll walk away with practical tools to reduce overwhelm, redistribute responsibility, and protect your relationship during one of the most emotionally loaded times of the year.

1. Why holiday gift giving creates a unique mental and emotional burden

2. How invisible labor fuels resentment between partners

3. Practical ways to share the holiday mental load fairly

4. How reducing mental load strengthens intimacy, trust, and presence

This episode is for parents who want holidays that feel connected instead of chaotic and relationships that feel like partnerships, not silent scorecards.

👇

🔔 Subscribe for more parenting insights 📩 Join my [FREE] newsletter for extra support 🤝 Grab resources to support your parenthood and relationship journey 📢 Share this with a parent who needs to hear it!

--- Full Transcript HERE. — Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter

📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com) 🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com

Holidays are supposed to bring us closer… but if I’m honest, for a lot of couples, they do the opposite. They quietly surface tension, resentment, and those unspoken power dynamics no one wants to name.

Have you ever paused mid-holiday chaos and thought, wait… whose holiday is this really? Whose traditions are being centered? Whose are politely tolerated? And what happens when the family traditions we grew up with no longer fit who we’ve become, especially after kids?

That question is what led me to record this episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast.

In it, I talk about family traditions after kids and why they can suddenly become such a sensitive issue in relationships. Using psychology, family systems work, and real stories from couples I work with, I invite you to rethink holidays not as sacred rules you have to follow, but as living rituals you get to shape together.

We talk about holiday traditions conflict, cultural invisibility, and those unexamined “this is how it’s always done” norms that carry a lot more weight than we realize. We also look at mental load during the holidays, and why some traditions feel grounding and comforting, while others quietly leave one partner feeling unseen or pressured.

You’ll hear how couples navigate interfaith relationships, intercultural differences, and intergenerational expectations, and how shifting from obligation to intention can genuinely reduce stress and strengthen connection, not just during the holidays, but in the relationship overall.

This isn’t about creating a perfect multicultural celebration or doing more. It’s about designing family rituals that feel like home for everyone in the family.

In this episode, we explore:

1. Why inherited holiday traditions can create tension after parenthood
2. How cultural dominance and invisibility affect couple relationships
3. The psychology of family rituals, bonding, and stress regulation
4. How co-creating traditions supports belonging, identity, and couple connection

If you’re juggling different family backgrounds, feeling pressure to “make everyone happy,” or noticing resentment creep in every holiday season, this episode offers insight and practical, grounded steps, without guilt, perfectionism, or performing the holidays “right.”

Think of it as a gentle reset. One that asks:

What would it look like if our holidays actually reflected who we are now?

👇

🔔 Subscribe for more parenting insights 📩 Join my [FREE] newsletter for extra support 🤝 Grab resources to support your parenthood and relationship journey 📢 Share this with a parent who needs to hear it!

--- Full Transcript HERE. — Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter

📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com) 🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com

The holidays promise magic, but for many parents, December brings something very different: pressure, exhaustion, emotional overload, and a quiet sense of “I should be enjoying this more.”

In this tender and insightful episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, we look at why the season that’s supposed to bring joy so often creates tension between partners, overstimulation for parents, and a mental load that silently grows heavier with every school event, family dinner, and shopping list.

Drawing from real stories and psychological research, we explore the gap between holiday expectations and reality, and how it disproportionately affects couples navigating parenting.

Many parents carry scripts from childhood, cultural pressure from social media, and the emotional residue of “good family” myths that don’t match lived experience.

Add financial pressure, uneven task distribution, and emotional labor, and the holidays can become an annual relationship stress test instead of a bonding moment.

But this season doesn’t have to drain you.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to set boundaries that actually stick, lower holiday stress by realigning expectations, and create micro-rituals that strengthen connection rather than fragment it.

Using evidence-based strategies, we can create a holiday that feels calmer, more authentic, and more aligned with the family you’re building, not the one you think you “should” be recreating.

This is an invitation to simplify, soften, and reclaim the heart of the season.

A reminder that connection matters far more than perfection.

Let’s explore:

1. Why seasonal overwhelm intensifies the mental load for parents
2. The psychology behind holiday expectations vs reality
3. How to reduce relationship stress by communicating early and clearly
4. A deeper emotional insight: how your childhood scripts shape the pressure you feel during December

👇

🔔 Subscribe for more parenting insights 📩 Join my [FREE] newsletter for extra support 🤝 Grab resources to support your parenthood and relationship journey 📢 Share this with a parent who needs to hear it!

--- Full Transcript HERE. — Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter

📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com) 🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com

Parenthood has a way of making the invisible suddenly very, very loud. Especially when you’re the one keeping track of school emails, birthday gifts, doctor’s appointments, holiday planning, emotional stability, and which child currently refuses the “wrong” pair of socks.

This week on The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, we’re taking you inside the mental load, the relentless cognitive and emotional labor that keeps a household running but often goes unseen, unshared, and deeply unacknowledged.

If you’ve ever said, “Why am I the only one who knows all of this?” or felt more like your family’s operations manager than an equal partner, then this episode will land close to home.

Together, we unpack the psychological, cultural, and structural forces that shape this inequality. We look at why moms statistically carry up to 79% of household responsibilities, why dads often genuinely believe they’re helping more than they are, and why “helping” is very different from ownership.

But this conversation isn’t about blame. It’s about clarity, compassion, and rebuilding teamwork.

You’ll hear real, anonymized client stories, and we walk through practical strategies, from the Fair Play Method to weekly check-ins, emotional labor sharing, and communication shifts, that help couples rebalance the load and reconnect as partners, not adversaries.

Whether you’re drowning in the invisible work or realizing you’ve been unintentionally handing it to your partner, this episode offers both insight and relief: a way forward that honors everyone involved.

👇

🔔 Subscribe for more parenting insights 📩 Join my [FREE] newsletter for extra support 🤝 Grab resources to support your parenthood and relationship journey 📢 Share this with a parent who needs to hear it!

--- Full Transcript HERE. — Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter

📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com) 🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com

The “tradwife” trend is everywhere - soft dresses, sourdough starters, spotless kitchens, angelic lighting. It’s presented as serenity, simplicity, and the antidote to overwhelm.

But beneath the aesthetic lies a deeper story about real motherhood, pressure, identity, and what women are actually yearning for.

In this episode of The Parenthood and Relationship Podcast, we dismantle the trad-wife aesthetic with compassion and context, not judgment.

Because this trend isn’t just about homemaking. It’s emerging from the exhaustion, contradictory expectations, and emotional labor that mothers carry today.

Many women tell me they’re torn between two impossible standards: “Work and prove your worth” vs. “Stay home and prove your worth.”

Both come with shame.

Both come with mom guilt.

Both shrink maternal identity into a performance.

And so the trad wife trend promises something tempting: Rest.

Clarity.

Being cherished.

A simpler life.

But the truth is more complex…and much more human.

Together, we explore the psychology behind why this aesthetic is so appealing in a time of rising childcare costs, rigid workplaces, and unequal mental load at home.

We look at the risks of financial dependence, the loss of autonomy, and the emotional isolation that “traditional roles” can create for both mothers and fathers.

We also uplift the legitimate desires behind the fantasy: slowness, intentional rituals, emotional safety, and shared responsibility.

This episode is both grounding and liberating; an invitation to honor motherhood without romanticizing systems that historically harmed women, and without dismissing the beauty of nurturing, homemaking, or soft living.

It’s about reclaiming choice, partnership, and the dignity of being multidimensional humans raising multidimensional children.

Whether you’re a stay-at-home mother, a working mom, or a father wanting to understand these dynamics better, this conversation is designed to leave you feeling seen, strengthened, and supported.

1. Why the trad wife trend is surging (and what women are actually craving beneath the aesthetic)
2. How modern motherhood became a double-bind of contradictory expectations
3. The mental load + emotional labor gap that quietly shapes family life
4. A compassionate path forward based on choice, partnership, autonomy, and respect

👇

Grab these resources I mentioned

👉 For Dads: Reconnection Roadmap

👉 The Sunday Reconnect

👉 ALL my [free] resources

–-

🔔 Subscribe for more parenting insights 📩 Join my [FREE] newsletter for extra support 📢 Share this with a parent who needs to hear it!

--- Full Transcript HERE. — Want to take our relationship to the next level? 👉Here are my top Resources 👉 Link to my Newsletter 👉 Join the Reconnect with Your Partner Challenge

📩 Get in touch with me (Instagram @markella.kaplani; website; e-mail: info@markellakaplani.com) 🎧 Listen, share, and leave a review! Your support means the world! ---

Markella Kaplani, M.A. Clinical-Counseling Psychologist Parenthood & Relationship Coach www.markellakaplani.com